There are different types of rapes. Verbal persuasion rape is one of the most common. Verbal persuasion is if someone is dating a person and they’re not in the mood for sex,and the other person takes to verbally forcing them into it, that is verbal persuasion rape because it’s forced. It can look like this: if you loved me you’d do it; I’ve got blue balls; why won’t you sleep with me?; who else are you sleeping with?; you’re a bitch or a tease (or worse). Verbally badgering a person into having sex with you until they give in. Or it can be telling a bunch of lies - i.e. saying I love you, I can’t live without you, you’re the one for me - to get a person in the sack specifically for sex before departing. Verbal persuasion can get a lot worse such as yelling verbal abuse at a person until they give in and have sex. Using a person for sex after letting them believe it was more than just sex is another common form of rape.
Date rape – drugging a person for sex – is beyond me. I wonder how anyone can do that and then look themselves in the mirror with any ounce of pride. What is there to be proud of? That the only way you could get a person to sleep with you is if they’re off their face! Wouldn’t that make the person a loser?
I was date raped in my late teens. I used to babysit for this woman looking after her two boys. Her boys were easy to look after and the lady seemed nice enough. She dressed classy when she went on her dates. I babysat for her for over year and she dated different guys trying to find a decent guy. I hadn’t babysat for her for a few months when she called to say she needed me to babysit. She had a new boyfriend Mark who was tall, good looking with a nice body. When they got back from their date she walked me home and told me that one of Mark’s fantasies is to have sex with a 16 year old virgin. I was older than that and not a virgin and had a boyfriend so I didn’t think much about the remark. If any thing I thought ‘I’m safe’ and I trusted this lady.
I don’t remember how many months later she phoned me and asked me if I wanted to going out dancing with her and her boyfriend. They took me to some night club. At the club he gave me rum and coke. I sipped it slowly and danced in between sips. When ever I went back to the table the glass was full again. I don’t remember finishing a single drink and I don’t know how much I had all up. But I was so legless by the end of the night I fell over on the dance floor and couldn’t get back up. They took me back to her place.
She gave me a shower to try and sober me up but she had her hands full. I kept falling and couldn’t stand up. I couldn’t even dry myself. I wrapped a towel around myself and told her I was going to lie down. I barely made it to the bed and just fell onto the edge of the mattress. Then Mark came in. I don’t remember him coming in, just standing over me looking down at me. He started trying to pry my legs apart while I tried to lock my knees together but was so drunk I couldn’t control my movements. I even remember trying to say no and all I got out was a groan. Then she was beside me sitting on the bed next to me stroking my hair and the rest is a blur.
I remember him being in me but couldn’t feel it. I remember her getting undressed and joining in. I remember him doing things to her and to me and her doing things to me and to him and trying to get me to do things to her. I guess this was some fantasy of his that we were playing out. I have no idea how long it went for. When it was over they left the room and some time later I got up, got dressed and left. As I left she asked me if I was ok (referring to how drunk I was not what had happened).
Outside in the street I threw up then staggered home. My dad was home and asleep when I walked in and I wondered if he’d been worried about me.
The next day she rang me to see if I was still talking to her. I asked her if he came in me, she said he didn’t and I hung up. Answering her question. No, I’m not still talking to you.
Maybe because I was too drunk to remember, the situation didn’t bother me that much. Some times I would think about him having sex with me without my permission and my insides would knot. I wondered what kind of person does that. Have sex with a girl too legless to move or object or even agree. I was mostly pissed off with my friend (well I thought she was) for letting it happen. I did wake with night terrors but couldn’t remember what had scared me. I didn’t tell anyone. Though I did vaguely mention it to my boyfriend who didn’t believe me and I never said another word. He thought I was making up a tale just for something to say.
I don’t think I’m traumatized by that night. I don’t feel much about it and it was so long ago. One thing though, I cannot watch rape scenes in movies even though I know it’s just acting. It makes me want to turn vigilante. Maybe I’m more affected than I seem.
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