custody rights and the legal system

i know a guy who had a relationship with a girl, nothing new or strange about that. the relationship carried on for a couple of years and during this time they did lots of drugs and had wild times. she got pregnant to him and already had another children to another man. he left her and fought long and hard to leave behind that scene, that life. years later and he's been on the path to mending and doing very well.

one day the ex dumps the kids on his doorstep. she's on the run from dhs and it's easier to run without kids in tow. she now has three children to three different men, none of whom have stayed with her because she's still in the drugo scene with no real means of quitting or getting any real help. you need money for rehab.

the children (including two that aren't biologically his) end up in his and his family's care for almost two years. during this time dhs catches up with her and she goes to prison for a while. before she goes to prison she tries to win back her children, taking her ex to court.

this is where the system is unfair and stupid. he has to pay for a lawyer to fight against her at the cost of around $700 per hour to prove that he is decent and fit enough to have the care of her children (his biological child). while she pays for nothing and doesn't have to prove she's fit enough because the law favours the rights of the mother no matter how screwed up the mother is.

this woman and her family are well known to dhs and have been in the system for years for neglect, abuse and drug related offenses and still, legally, the children are hers and she has a right to them. while the father who has a steady job, family support and has worked hard to be a decent and contributing citizen to society has to pay to prove he's a better parent.

there is no three strikes and your out. three strikes and you lose the rights to your children. three strikes and the children automatically get a better life living with more balanced caring able people. even her with her drugged up way of being she doesn't have to fork out a dime to prove she has legal rights to her children.

update: the father, who had the child in his custody for many months while the mother was in jail, ended up giving the child back when the mother got out of jail. he said that having a child interfered with his life and work. sadly even when fathers get custody of their children they sometimes realise how hard raising a child is. now the child is back with the abusive neglectful mother.

the handing down of family violence

once upon a time dark skinned people were taken hostage and shipped all across the globe to be used as slaves. there they were mistreated, beaten, abused, raped and killed. men and women formed relationships in this environment and raised children. those relationships would have been strained and full of anger, hurt and rage. man not being able to get his master back, having been stripped of his manhood and humanity, he'd have hated for his wife to disobey him and likely turned to violence as a way of redeeming his masculinity. the women, also mistreated by master and husband, would have taken their grief out on their children. those children grew up feeling the same way and doing the same things. taking out their pain and hardships on their family members.
come the 21st century and poverty is rampant, jail is very likely, little job prospects, lacking in education, drugs, alcohol prevail and inequality the violence continues.

once upon a time pore white folk were put in jail for stealing loaves of bread, handkerchiefs and other petty crimes. some went on boats to other countries and put in jails there. in jails they were stripped of their humanity and abused, neglected and mistreated. some prisoners as young as 9. growing up in that environment leaves them angry and bitter. those who get out of prison have to form relationships in the real world but they're angry and bitter and knowing nothing but injustice and brutality. husbands turn on wives, mothers turn on children. children grow up repeating the patterns they learned from their parents.
come the 21st century and poverty is rampant, jail is very likely, little job prospects, lacking in education, drugs, alcohol prevail and inequality the violence continues.

there are many nationalities who've had stolen generations such as, native amercians, aboriginies and the english in the 1900's. children who were taken from parents without consent, stuck in orphanages or homesteads, sexually abused, beaten and neglected. those children grew up hurt and damaged and not knowing how to be loved nor how to give love.

you take any nationality, jewish, chinese, middle eastern, native amercians, aboriginies, europeans, africans, and they all have something in common. we all have something in common! violent upheavals, wars, genocide, murder in the name of law or religion, violent backgrounds and upbringings that we're all trying hard to escape. but it's hard because violence is insidious and hard to escape when it's all you know.

time to start breeding a different type of human being.