we're not friends. we simply know each other.
thought there could be at the start. she'd said something about me & beau needing to spend time with her and her bf coz they're going really amazing, after she heard of our struggles. beau could learn from them, she said. watch the love birds interact and learn.
her and another pretend friend invited me to their birthday event and as soon as i arrived they plied with me drinks on the notion 'i needed to catch up.'
you must drink, passes a shotty, i see they have an empty glass or two, we've already had a few, you need to catch up... another shotty. and yet .. it seems like they're not drinking as much as they've given me. in quick succession.
i'm soon drunk around 2 peeps i don't know well and while they'll keep me safe, i'm not safe from their judgement. but it's a new friendship and i don't know that yet. but i sense it. i'm an idiot drunk that night, going up to strangers and drunkedly talking to them. idiot.
i crave conversation and someone to dance with, and they don't understand, and it's emotionally embarrassing.
then we're invited for dinner, all the families. it doesn't go that well. the men are segregated at a table outside surrounded by a neglected dull garden. the lasses are inside, chatting away nicely, children in another room. no mingling. the men join us later but it doesn't flow well, feels forced. i think one man goes to bed early.
next day or so she sends a text saying they're not looking to add extra friends to their already full friendship list. you understand.
no worries. all good, i reply. we're ousted yet unsure why.
from there we catch up sporadically and they only conversation they have with me is ragging out an ex mutual friend. i'm soon bored of the topic, keep changing the subject, and it keeps coming back to ragging. people who rag others rag you. my spidey senses are tingling in an unenjoyable way.
i stop suggesting catchups, then stop saying yes to invites.
we're not really friends. it's just pretend. i don't think any of us get any thing out of it.
