just nights after eurydice dixon was raped and murdered i was talking with my beau about it. i made three comments to which he replied "you need to get a job". meaning i was talking about it too much and needed to get a job to have something else to do / talk about.
i was fuming.
1. it's a very insulting thing to say to someone and belittles and invalidates my concerns.
2. the fear is real!
3. i was going out that night and there's always the concern that i could be the one getting raped and murdered
coming home that night on the train at 3.30am there were about a dozen people on the carriage. thankfully i was not intoxicated and had my wits about me.
i had been sitting on a two seater with my legs across the spare seat playing games on my phone. after a while i changed positions, crossing my legs and leaning towards the large window to my right. no sooner had I moved a man got up from across the carriage and came and sat beside me. not just beside me, practically on my lap!
i continued to play games on my phone, keeping my legs crossed and arms across my body. self protection.
he started talking to me asking questions: where i was going, where i had been ..
he was jeeva, 32, from pakistan, average looking, drab clothing, been in australia for 8 years, single, no kids, finished work at 6pm, had been playing the pokies and was heading home. he was, he said, getting off several stops before mine but when his station came he did not get off.
he was not threatening or menacing and i didn't feel fear, though i did feel annoyance since trains are not the place to try and pick up women, and also because he was sitting too close to me. i was more concerned he would try to touch me and at one point he reached out to touch my leg and i pushed his hand away.
he asked me a couple of times if he could see me again and i said no, not going to happen .. all the while playing games on my phone, doing my best to not engage - lest he get the wrong impression. but also trying not to piss him off in case he became aggressive.
others around me said and did nothing, except for a young woman behind me who had the decency to ask me if i was ok or needed any help. i graciously thanked her for her intervention and concern.
jeeva stopped talking to me but didn't move seats.
i asked the man in the seat in front of mine, who was falling asleep, what his stop was so i could wake him so he wouldn't miss it. turns out he (and the kind woman behind me) were thankfully getting off at my stop. phew!
as we departed the train the man who had been sitting in front of me said, 'i see you've made a friend' in a wry tone, i replied 'something like that' equally wry.
i got off and made sure to watch as jeeva remained on the train. then i walked out onto the street, phoned a taxi and had to wait 10mins until it arrived. shivering, teeth chattering.
back home i told my beau all about it and told him he's lucky. as a man ain't no woman gonna sit upon his lap (practically) and try to pick him up. he doesn't have to fear her getting off at the same stop as him and raping and / or murdering him.
he apologised for his words earlier acknowledging that the fear is real!
