Bumped into an old school friend. Hadn't seen her since high school. We were 21. She comes over to my house unannounced when I've got a bunch of girl friends over. She stays for a while bagging my friends to me when ever they left the room. As she's leaving she tells me that she only became my friend in high school because she felt sorry for me because I had no friends.
That's not the truth. The truth is I had lots of friends until she went around telling lies about me, telling people I'd said things about them when I hadn't. People got pissed off with me for saying these things until they realised the only one claiming I'd said stuff was her. Once they realised she was a two faced liar they unfriended her leaving her totally friendless and the only person who would have anything to do with her after that was me. Too gullible for my own good. Truth is I felt sorry for her. I knew nobody liked her. Everyone kept telling me they don't understand what I see in her, why I stay friends with her, why I don't just ditch the lying two faced bitch.
So there she is at a my house years later after me being her only friend all throughout high school and she's telling me she feels sorry for me. I know she said this remark because I had friends over and it rubber her insecurities the wrong way so she had to try and win back some semblance of coolness that she never had. I laughed, gestured to the friends I had in my house and said to her, "Times have changed. Now I've got lots of friends," knowing full well she never had groups of girls over like that. She left looking all dejected and friendless.
It's not a nice thing to do. Reject her like that and make her feel like a friendless loser. She can't help hating herself and wanting to put others down so she can feel good about herself for a while. It's just that finding out years later she was still two faced, still liked to put others down to make herself feel good, not ever having a light bulb moment and seeing that shit doesn't work. Just made me want to tell it like it is. That was the last time we ever saw each other and it was years over due.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
why cheaters cheat
I know why cheaters cheat. There are various reasons and various types of cheaters. Some people are afraid of commitment don't want to be tied down to one person. Some people want the attention and like the idea of testing if they've still got what it takes to attract others. Some people like the thrill and the adventure.
They're not the cheaters I'm talking about.
I mean the faithful loyal lovers who would other wise never stray. I know what can make them stray.
Imagine you're in a relationship. 10, 20, 30 years. The partner is practically perfect in every way. Good looking, well groomed, good manners, good teeth. Healthy, fit. Holds a job and isn't afraid of hard work to provide for the family. Good hands on parent. Generous, giving, loves to take you out to dinner. Personable, friendly, easy going. Communicates well. What ever other attributes you can think of. Only one thing is missing.
They're cold, distant. Stingy with their emotions, feelings and affection. They show love and affection towards the children but not to you. Their lover, their partner. Years of talking about it and trying to make a difference have no effect. You've given them years of love and affection. Compliments. Tried to show then what it looks like to be open and affectionate. What it feels like to receive it. You've also withheld your affection trying to also show them how it feels not to have it. And still nothing, nadda, zip. They cannot be (or won't be) any other way no matter what you do or say.
Enough to drive you mad .. or into the arms of someone else who will show you love and affection. They not shit enough to leave. They're a good person underneath all that coldness. It's just that you need more. You know you deserve to be cherished, admired, treated like you're the most beautiful person in the world.
It's like daddy's girls who have cold distant dads. They'll happily give their love away to the first boy who whispers sweet nothings in their ear. This is the same. You'll happy run towards the first person who whispers those sweet words in your ear because you miss it, you want it, and you're not getting it. Your partner will never understand if they ever found out. No light bulb moment coming their way. So you feel you're left with no other choice.
Spend a life time with a person who leaves you feeling less than .. or have your cake and eat it by getting love and attention from someone who knows that cold and distant isn't want has lovers falling at your feet.
I mean the faithful loyal lovers who would other wise never stray. I know what can make them stray.
Imagine you're in a relationship. 10, 20, 30 years. The partner is practically perfect in every way. Good looking, well groomed, good manners, good teeth. Healthy, fit. Holds a job and isn't afraid of hard work to provide for the family. Good hands on parent. Generous, giving, loves to take you out to dinner. Personable, friendly, easy going. Communicates well. What ever other attributes you can think of. Only one thing is missing.
They're cold, distant. Stingy with their emotions, feelings and affection. They show love and affection towards the children but not to you. Their lover, their partner. Years of talking about it and trying to make a difference have no effect. You've given them years of love and affection. Compliments. Tried to show then what it looks like to be open and affectionate. What it feels like to receive it. You've also withheld your affection trying to also show them how it feels not to have it. And still nothing, nadda, zip. They cannot be (or won't be) any other way no matter what you do or say.
Enough to drive you mad .. or into the arms of someone else who will show you love and affection. They not shit enough to leave. They're a good person underneath all that coldness. It's just that you need more. You know you deserve to be cherished, admired, treated like you're the most beautiful person in the world.
It's like daddy's girls who have cold distant dads. They'll happily give their love away to the first boy who whispers sweet nothings in their ear. This is the same. You'll happy run towards the first person who whispers those sweet words in your ear because you miss it, you want it, and you're not getting it. Your partner will never understand if they ever found out. No light bulb moment coming their way. So you feel you're left with no other choice.
Spend a life time with a person who leaves you feeling less than .. or have your cake and eat it by getting love and attention from someone who knows that cold and distant isn't want has lovers falling at your feet.
"Tell me I'm beautiful and I am yours."
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