she fluffed and flaunted, strutted and preened like a well trained peacock. nothing.
she cooked and fed and stuffed him full of culinary delights. nothing.
she sexed it up like some techno, ripped, ballerina, belly dancer. nothing.
all but donned the maid outfit to dust and clean for his highness. nothing.
one day the captive princess called him up on it and asked .. is this all i'm getting, what about the rest of you? i've given to you, primped and preened, domestic goddess, space, attachment, distance, fun. what does it take? what are you giving of yourself in return?
his immediate response is to shush her, tell her off. how dare she interrupt 'his time'? she silently disappears which is what he wanted. her learning her place and staying there. he's boss and the show runs his way.
hurt .. she's thinking he'll at least ask her what she wanted later. low and behold he doesn't. not minutes later, not hours, not that night in bed when he presses up against her wanting to use her body - and gets rejected because he hasn't apologized for fobbing her off and speaking to her rudely. not days or even weeks later. what he does do is ignore her for days and when she (finally) starts a conversation he tells her, "i thought you we angry with me which is why i wasn't talking to you". (blames her reaction for his reaction).
"no. love. it's not anger, you hurt me! you snapped and got angry because i wanted to talk. and you never asked if there was something you could afterwards to take the hurt away." she states.instead of getting it, and unbeknownst to him or her, he begins and internal dialog that goes something like this: how dare she reject me sexually, here i was just trying to make up to her by having sex and she rejects me, and what! because i was watching tv, couldn't she see i was watching tv when she wanted to talk. how dare she after i let her come here and stay in my house and eat my food and use my electricity. who the fuck does she think she is to take me for granted. i work long days slogging away so she can eat and have a roof over her head. how dare she pull me up and try to make me look bad! how dare she!
in a few days when she thinks he's calmed down enough to talk, (keeping in the mind the way he reacted to her interruption has left her weary of what will set him off again), she asks him if they can talk now. he happily asks what about, thinking the other days topic is all done and dusted - because he showed her her place. she begins to talk about how she asked him the other day if he'll be more attentive and if he's thought about what she said. his reaction is even more severe than before. he's had time to think and fester about how RUDE and ungrateful she is .. this time he tells her ..
i work all day, 12 hours shifts (so you should BOW DOWN TO ME his royal holiness), i want to come home and just relax and watch some tv, i don't want deep and meaning conversations, and why should we talk now when you rejected me the other night and haven't spoken to me since. (again blaming her for his reaction).
the illogic astounds her. where does he get his sense of 'the order of things'. what he's saying is not what happened at all and his reactions are disproportionate to the request. which he hasn't fully heard or acknowledged yet because he fobbed her off, twice, too busy needing to put her in her place and be king of the household to hear her out.
afterwards, all encounters are strained, worse, added onto, like a long gigantic list of 'look at all you've done to hurt me'. him: you cracked the shits with me and rejected me sexually and made me angry, so i'm going to shut you out even more. her: you treated me badly when i'm trying to make things better, not the other way around? and so it goes and goes and goes like a whopping never ending not-so-merry-go-round of her trying to talk and remedy and him trying to shut her up with anger and blaming.
we all know what the future holds ..
