I wish I was forever locked in my fantasy. It's fun here. Me myself and i. Multiple persons. We have a great old time.
(Multiple personalities is people lost in their imaginations)
Got my dancing and singing and romance. I'm hip and I'm grovin' Got my stories and ideals and I'm loving life. If only I could stay here. Real life is such a shit.
People. Work. Life. Draws me out and I don't like it.
Alas it has to happen.
Some of us are born preferring our imagination to real life. Still I contribute to the world. I ain't to daydreaming bludger livin' off the dole not earning my keep.
None-the-less like being lost in my world of stories and fantasies and all that.
Give me bush walking and imagining any day.
Give me dancing my guts out pretending I'm famous - or dancing for you - any day.
Plus I write and love it. Shit load of stories to prove it.
Then life draws me out. Reality.
Go away .. I was happy here
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
date night
Speak to any relationship counselor and they'll suggest a date night for stagnant relationships were the couples have been together for a while and take each other for granted. They got comfortable and are content to sit around ignoring each other.
He went to a counselor and got told he should have date nights with me. Wish I'd have been there because I'd have laughed at the counselor and said what the hell point would that be?
When I go on a date with him I get one of of two things. 1. Ocotoman. 2. Distance.
Last night's date he was cold. Walking towards him all dressed up he says nothing. No telling me I look nice. Nothing. The most I get is your bum feels good in that skirt. It's better than nothing though I want more. We drive to the movies and he's saying and doing nothing date-ish. May as well be going shopping for all he's giving. No holding my hand, stealing looks at me, telling me I look nice. We get our pop corn and go into the theater and he's sitting next to me like a statue, back straight, facing front, hands to himself. No holding my hand, leaning towards me, putting an arm around me. Nothing. The most I get is him leaning over to tell me that actor is such n such from that other movie or show. I eventually lean over to him and hold onto his arm, or put my hand on his thigh. After some time he returns the gesture and only keeps his hand there for a little while. It's back to playing statues. I'm looking over at him every now and then thinking how good looking he is, wishing he'd do the same. The movie is over and we leave talking about how good the movie was. The Dark Knight Rises. Wicked movie. Loved it. So bloody cool with a great ending and stacks of cameo appearances. Can't wait for the next one. In the car he's still saying and doing nothing date-ish though he does hold my hand. By now my hand is limp. I've lost interest. I'm feeling depressed. I'm feeling unattractive. I'm feeling uninteresting. It's all about expectations. His expectation is date night is about going out together and doing something enjoyable. My idea of date night is we flirt and chat and he builds me up and makes me feel 6 feet tall. My idea is we do some extra stuff we don't normally do that removes the taking for granted comfortable content BORING stagnant feeling. We could have sat on the sofa at home and had the same kind of dumb pathetic ignore me all night type of night. Which is what we have all the time anyway.
The next day he's pissed off with me for confessing my feelings about the date and lack of flirting which came about because he paid me a compliment when I was half undressed saying I look good. I replied "Oh now you compliment me." Must have been wearing too much at the movies since the only time I'm complimentable is when I'm half naked.
And that's our date night. Oh goodie..... can't wait until the next one.
He went to a counselor and got told he should have date nights with me. Wish I'd have been there because I'd have laughed at the counselor and said what the hell point would that be?
When I go on a date with him I get one of of two things. 1. Ocotoman. 2. Distance.
Last night's date he was cold. Walking towards him all dressed up he says nothing. No telling me I look nice. Nothing. The most I get is your bum feels good in that skirt. It's better than nothing though I want more. We drive to the movies and he's saying and doing nothing date-ish. May as well be going shopping for all he's giving. No holding my hand, stealing looks at me, telling me I look nice. We get our pop corn and go into the theater and he's sitting next to me like a statue, back straight, facing front, hands to himself. No holding my hand, leaning towards me, putting an arm around me. Nothing. The most I get is him leaning over to tell me that actor is such n such from that other movie or show. I eventually lean over to him and hold onto his arm, or put my hand on his thigh. After some time he returns the gesture and only keeps his hand there for a little while. It's back to playing statues. I'm looking over at him every now and then thinking how good looking he is, wishing he'd do the same. The movie is over and we leave talking about how good the movie was. The Dark Knight Rises. Wicked movie. Loved it. So bloody cool with a great ending and stacks of cameo appearances. Can't wait for the next one. In the car he's still saying and doing nothing date-ish though he does hold my hand. By now my hand is limp. I've lost interest. I'm feeling depressed. I'm feeling unattractive. I'm feeling uninteresting. It's all about expectations. His expectation is date night is about going out together and doing something enjoyable. My idea of date night is we flirt and chat and he builds me up and makes me feel 6 feet tall. My idea is we do some extra stuff we don't normally do that removes the taking for granted comfortable content BORING stagnant feeling. We could have sat on the sofa at home and had the same kind of dumb pathetic ignore me all night type of night. Which is what we have all the time anyway.
The next day he's pissed off with me for confessing my feelings about the date and lack of flirting which came about because he paid me a compliment when I was half undressed saying I look good. I replied "Oh now you compliment me." Must have been wearing too much at the movies since the only time I'm complimentable is when I'm half naked.
And that's our date night. Oh goodie..... can't wait until the next one.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
a sermon on sinners
i am the lord thy god
thou shalt have no other gods
no graven images or likenesses
not take the lord's name in vain
remember the sabbath day
honour thy father and thy mother
thou shalt not kill
thou shalt not commit adultery
thou shalt not steal
thou shalt not bear false witness
thou shalt not covet
the group of people who hung negros up in trees then went to church on sunday and shouted “halleluiah i believe in jesus christ the son of our holy father amen!”
the group of people who stoned a girl to death. the lady who back stabs and gossips and tells
untruths about people. the man who coverts another man’s wife and thinks he’s not cheating because she is a picture in a magazine or some chick in a video. the paedophile who claims to be ‘born that way’ and can’t help his impulses, or those sick men who go to thai child brothels, or invest money into an asian prostitute for as long as the money lasts. the mother who bashes her children or dates some asshole that will do it for her while she does nothing.
they kid themselves that they’re not sinners, or they've repented for their sins so god will forgive them. 0r maybe they don’t believe in god and couldn't give a rat’s ass about what they do because there is no heaven or hell and no punishment that will make them stop.
we like to sit back in our cosy houses pointing the finger at the ‘bad sinners’ while in truth we are all
sinners. get real and admit you’ve done at least one of those things. for the most part we do nothing about the sinners which is a sin in itself or we believe we are not sinning - because we think the above is ok. we fight for nothing and go with the flow. we do nothing but pray to our gods that it won’t happen or tell ourselves we’re going to heaven where the sinners won’t be and life will be perfect (while all the sinners suffer in hell). or maybe you go nowhere after death the all the crap is gone.
thou shalt have no other gods
no graven images or likenesses
not take the lord's name in vain
remember the sabbath day
honour thy father and thy mother
thou shalt not kill
thou shalt not commit adultery
thou shalt not steal
thou shalt not bear false witness
thou shalt not covet
the group of people who hung negros up in trees then went to church on sunday and shouted “halleluiah i believe in jesus christ the son of our holy father amen!”
the group of people who stoned a girl to death. the lady who back stabs and gossips and tells
untruths about people. the man who coverts another man’s wife and thinks he’s not cheating because she is a picture in a magazine or some chick in a video. the paedophile who claims to be ‘born that way’ and can’t help his impulses, or those sick men who go to thai child brothels, or invest money into an asian prostitute for as long as the money lasts. the mother who bashes her children or dates some asshole that will do it for her while she does nothing.
they kid themselves that they’re not sinners, or they've repented for their sins so god will forgive them. 0r maybe they don’t believe in god and couldn't give a rat’s ass about what they do because there is no heaven or hell and no punishment that will make them stop.
we like to sit back in our cosy houses pointing the finger at the ‘bad sinners’ while in truth we are all
sinners. get real and admit you’ve done at least one of those things. for the most part we do nothing about the sinners which is a sin in itself or we believe we are not sinning - because we think the above is ok. we fight for nothing and go with the flow. we do nothing but pray to our gods that it won’t happen or tell ourselves we’re going to heaven where the sinners won’t be and life will be perfect (while all the sinners suffer in hell). or maybe you go nowhere after death the all the crap is gone.
ridiculous foolishness and not good enough. we as a collective people need to get up off
our fat asses and be proactive in dealing with sin starting with
ourselves. even if you don’t believe in
the 10 commandments because it’s for a religion that is not yours; not killing,
not committing adultery, not stealing, not bearing false witness and not
coveting makes sense.
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