withholding sex is power play

some women (and men) withhold sex as a power play. do this thing i want you to do and i'll give you sex. i'm sure those kind of creeps are out there.

then you have the other side of the coin. those who are not having sex because of very valid and sometimes serious reasons. i.e. insecurities so deep compliments and flirting can't heal them, physically and emotional pain or trauma, the sex hurts and is therefore unwanted.

lack of trust is an issue. maybe he promised he'd let you sodomize him if you let him sodomize you, then reneged. maybe he promised to bring you to climax just because he wanted to please you only to turn around and pester you into giving him pleasure too because you turned him on and now owe him. maybe she promised to go down on you if you went down on her, then reneged. either way if that trust is broken damage is done.

but one of the main reasons women (and men) stop having sex is because they don't like it and aren't getting anything out of it. like with men who think sex is about sticking their penis in the vagina, humping away until they orgasm then hopping off and leaving the woman hanging. or when sex is the same old dull boring routine it's always been and they can't stand the idea of having to go through that another day.

sometimes the sex is so shit they'd rather go without.

if you're a red hot lover but an asshole outside of the bedroom, put-downs, insults, nagging, fault finding, abusing, lying, cheating, manipulating .. this also contributes to your partner losing interest (withholding) sex. no one has desires to sleep with someone who treats them like shit (either during or outside of sex).

just think about that next time you're thinking your partner is withholding out of a punishment or a play for power. if the sex (and the relationship) is good, passionate, lustful, exciting, interesting, mutually satisfying, pleasurable, then they're going to want more.

adam goodes is right, australians are racist

adam goodes has been thrown under the bus recently because he dared to speak up about australia's underlying racism towards our aboriginal brethren.

suddenly everyone is up in arms because how dare he make such a disrespect comment during his australian of the year speech.

thing is adam is correct. it may not be all of us or even many of us however australia's are racist and do pass that racism down through the generations and onto people they know.

recently while camping we met a couple with two chilren. they seemed nice enough. then some aboriginals came to the camp site and the man starts telling us how he has to hide his stuff because they'll steal it. like white men don't steal!

his comments made me angry and i told him he was stereotyping and that a great many are good and decent people. even game him some examples of great work they're doing in their communities. he disagreed with me, telling me 'most' are not good. thing is he was saying this in front of his young children. they're hearing him talk badly about aboriginals which is how this bigotry and hated is passed onto the next generation.

truth is most people who piss and moan about aboriginals have never met any, don't know any, have certainly not been friends with any. (same as most other cultures and races they hate).

i hate how we're passing these bullshit opinions on to others and onto the next generations. and adam goodes does as well, and he has a right to feel that way because it's true. australians are spreading these ignorant malicious stories about our kinsmen. it's time to let the bullshit go.

1) they choose to be there (in porn)

that's like saying children choose to be alter boys or choir girls. they choose to be quiet about abuse. because they go back to their roles and the abuse continues, they choose to be there.

that's like saying people who work in sweet shops choose to be there enduring those dodgy conditions for crappy pay.

that's like saying abused spouses choose to be there.

that's like saying people caught in dead end shit jobs with arsehole bosses choose to be there.

there are many situations in life where we 'choose' to be where we are but we're not choosing the abuse and the terrible and horrific things being done to us.

majority of girls who go into the sex work scene have no idea what they're getting into and the things they'll be subjected to. add to that the amount of call girls who end up in videos and pics when that's not what they signed up for; and those who are trafficked and forced into sex work; and those children who are forced into child abuse. certainly a vast many are not choosing to be there.

yet all those who watch, participate and force choose to do so.

2) all men like to view teens, it's normal. really? all men? or only those who don't have a strong moral compass? and even if it's 'normal' man's behavior, not all men like to view teens having sex, let alone hard core, up close, in your face sex. that is NOT normal, standard or necessary.

take into consideration teenage girls are young and carefree and look young and carefree. not a wrinkle to be seen, too young to have old shit come into their world. and they should be unaffected by life. they don't need some old fucker affected by life coming into their world and affecting them. infecting them with their shitty values and lack of morals, their fake needs to watch teens be fucked because it's 'normal'!

all those who watch, participate and force, need to go away and keep their shitty lives to themselves. all those who make porn, esp gonzo, should be gonzo'd first. do unto others and all that ..

3) porn is normal coz cave men paintings prove it's been our nature for eternity. based on that one can't help but wonder why those cave paintings don't depict young teens (coz that's normal) being fucked by three different men (coz according to some porn is our nature).

too many myths, too many lies, all told to pretend normal and nature are as we've been lead to believe. if it is normal and nature then why don't all men watch, participate and force.

everyday sexual harassment

statistics show one in five women are sexually harassed while at university (in the states). when these findings were shown to the public scores of men denied the stats saying the figures are wrong. why are guys so intent on arguing these figures. what's in it for them to suggest these figures are wrong?

i'm surprised it's one in five since many women i speak to have been harassed in some way or another.

i have been sexually harassed numerous times in my short life so far.

the first was when i was 15, walking along the beach with a boy. some older boys walked towards me, one pretended to fall and grabbed my breasts. i pushed him and he staggered backwards, almost falling over, but he and his friend just laughed trolling for their next victim.

the next time i was 17 and had gone dancing with a lady i babysat for. they got me drunk and her boyfriend had sex with me while i was inebriated on her bed while she watched.

another time i was left alone with a mate of my then boyfriend. my boyfriend leaves to go score (mary for himself) while this friend and i wait for him to return. while he's gone the friend pins me down on the couch and tries to fondle me. i struggle and refuse his advances. get up and leave. my boyfriend dumped me when he found out because he recons it was cheating.

another time i was trying to sleep when one of the guys i knew kept trying to sneak into my room and molest me while i slept.

another time i went to a cocktail party at a guy i'd been dating's house. just a few male and female friends. nothing too risky. so i thought! i wake up and the friend of my bf was on me having sex with me.

another time was with a seedy guy i worked with who'd say inappropriate sexual things to me such as: asking me if my labia minora hung lower than my labia majora, could i wear miniskirts to work, i can see your panty line, and showing me pornography. i ended up reporting him and he backed off but was not fired.

another time i was at a night club when three guys singled me out and tried to attack me in a dark corner of the club. lucky for me i was able to fight them off and hurt one guy which made them all panic run.

i've had men surround me at a pool hall trying to intimidate me and even had a guy pore his beer over me, at another club, because i wasn't showing interest in him.

all of these incidents involve males who believe they're entitled to 'have' what they want regardless of the fact that the female isn't interested. they've all taken without asking and they've taken even when protests were being made.

what makes a guy (or in this case many guys) feel that way, act that way, believe it's ok to be that way and to treat a female that way? why? and why are all these other guys trying to deny sexual harassment happens at a concerning rate? what's with males not supporting and protecting females, calling the toads out and showing them this type of treatment is not ok?

are you a sell out?

there are 3 types of people

those who are ignorant of the fact that sexualisation of women exists (usually these people are young and naive)

those who know it exists and are ignorant of the fact that sexualisation of women hurts our society

and those who know sexualisation exists and hurts our society

if you are the middle or latter and you still buy into the sexual objectification of women then you are a sellout 

mina

mina was a chinese lady I worked with, in an office, for around 6 months. we hit it off and spent our breaks together talking. she wasn't like the other ladies in the office who gossiped and spent most of their day talking instead of getting work done. when i left we kept in contact via email for 2 years.

we planned a weekend away together in the country talking about how we'd drive up sat morning, what food we'd bring, how we'd sip wine at night time and do yoga together sunday morning. i picked her up from her house and we drove to the location together, talking happily and stopping to take photos of an echidna.

the accommodation was a lovely double story house with natural wood and corrugated iron cladding, set on a hill. we settled in, mina saying i could have the upstairs master bedroom because i put the weekend together. first we went for a walk around the property then settled down on the comfy sofas to talk and nibble on anti pesto.

the first odd thing to happen was mina suggesting i open a bottle of wine, only to tell me she didn't want any after i'd poured myself a glass. it was further odd because she'd been the one to suggest we bring alcohol and relax and drink together. further odd when later she pulled out her own bottle of alcohol wanting me to have a glass even though she wouldn't be having any.

we talked all day and all night, even went for a night time walk, and all was going fine. bed time came and we went to our rooms. she phoned her husband to talk, she'd been texting and phoning him every couple of hours since we'd left her house. even asked me why i wasn't calling my beau. i said it's my weekend away, i'll make the most of the break.

sleep was fitful because we had resident possums who ran and banged across the roof most of the night. i got up and made myself a cup of tea and nibbled and waited for mina to get up. she took ages to wake up so i went for a walk, then when i came back i began do the dishes as quietly as i could. 10mins later she comes upstairs and grumpily tells  me to stop doing the dishes because it had woken her up, adding that it's not our job to do them, we're meant to leave them for the owners. then she asks me what i was doing all night, all that banging and clanging, that kept her awake. i explain it was the possums and, i kid you not, she didn't believe me.

she went back down stairs, got dressed and left the house. i went downstairs and saw her outside doing yoga with out me thinking 'so much for us doing yoga together', but ignored it and tidied up the place. when she came back inside she was annoyed that i'd been tidying up (again she felt we should leave it for those who rent the place out). so she'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed because she'd had a bad sleep, fair enough.

later on we settled on the sofas to nibble on leftovers and talk. mina starts talking to me about my situation, at the time i wasn't working and my beau was, so she assumes he's paying for me to live. she asks me if i feel guilty living off his wealth. i explain the wealth is not his, we live in my house, i own my own car outright and still have money to live off while i look for work. then she asks me if i could be a kept woman, i.e. use my beauty and marry a rich man who takes care of me. i tell her it's not something i could do because i'm too independent and beauty fades. suddenly she snaps at me and says 'my friends beauty hasn't faded'. and i'm like, who said we were talking about your friend. weird!

when it comes time to pack up and get ready to leave, i write a note in the visitors book while mina tells me she refuses to write 'in those things'. when i look up from the book she's going through my valuables on the table, watch, camera etc. checking the brands. by now i'm thinking 'who is this woman?' you never really know someone until you live with them (even if only for a weekend).

the drive home is hard because we're both pretending not to feel annoyed with each other. back at her place she shows me to her art studio and her paintings (earlier that day i'd shown her pictures of my art work and she'd been negative about it, saying it's not so good). i see her artwork and compliment her on her use of colours and painting style. he art work was awful, but unlike her, i'd never insult a fellow artist.

i emailed her once after that weekend and got a cold short email back and that was that.

kendrick johnson so many unanswered questions

why did kendrick try to squeeze down a 14in diam rolled up gym mat to retrieve a shoe instead of moving the mats to get it

why did he try to retrieve that shoe when he had his own white nike shoes

why, if he was trying to retreive his shoe, were his own shoes stuffed part way down the rolled up mat like someone threw them in after him

how did his shoes (the ones thrown in after him) fall or come off

where did the blood come from if he had no signs of struggle or open wounds

why is there no blood on top of the shoe he was supposed fetching

where did the finger nail scratches on his hand come from

why did no one notice him missing during the day

why do the school cameras miss bits of footage and why don't they show kenrick near the corner where the gym mats were

why don't the cameras show the two boys (one in a white shirt and one in a red shirt) follow him in to the gym, like the hall camera shows

when he enters the gym there are no boys playing basket ball, but they're shown playing in later (edited) footage

why did no one see or hear his struggle as he supposedly fell into the gym mat and got stuck

kendrick johnson in gym mat opening larger than 14in

if he did get stuck in the gym mat surely his struggle would have been audible and his movements noticeable

speed fines do they work, cont.

when i accidentally ran the red light it was after 11pm and there was no-one, zero cars, on the road with me at the time. the intersection was completely empty. can't help but wonder what would have happened if i'd planted the breaks and stopped over the line. would the camera still go off, or is the speed i'm travelling also a factor (since the camera goes off when the sensors detect a car crossing the line after the light changes).
i've got 3 seconds after the light turns orange to cross the line, and 3 seconds after the light turns red until the other lights turn green.

the irony is the car accident that happened to me, and the reason why i needed a new car, happened because a p plated, novice, driver saw a red light camera at the lights and panicked. the light turned orange, she spotted the red light camera (on the other side of the road for on coming traffic, not us) and planted the breaks.

she didn't follow the golden rule they teach us when taking driving lessons, never stop suddenly without considering all those behind you and weather it is safe to stop without causing an accident.

the only person who saw her do this was the 4x4 driver coming up behind her. that driver managed to swerve into flowing traffic while the car directly after the 4x4 noticed the car in front breaking too late. it, the car behind it and myself all came screeching to a halt .. too late. one by one we hit her from behind, forcing her car out into the intersection, where the other traffic had to avoid hitting her.

we were in the middle lane of a 3 lane hwy and all the cars to the left and right of us made it safely through the intersection long before the light turned red. we were the only cars left at that intersection, any witnesses to say the p plater would have made it safely across the intersection if she hadn't panicked were long gone.

the red light camera at this intersection was the cause of a 4 car pile up. not a serious (resulting in death) accident but a bad accident none-the-less. one women involved in the accident was heavily pregnant and i (like the others no doubt) suffered bruising and damage to my joints that pained me for months. the camera may save lives but it causes more accidents.

the irony is i copped a 300+ fine for my red light incident. this p plater had no charge and was considered not at fault. the police who attended the accident said there was no way any of us could have stopped in time. there is no way to prepare yourself for a panicked driver who plants the breaks in an 80km p/h zone.

speed fines do they work

within a year+ of getting my next car i copped 3 fines. mostly i put it down to learning the new vehicle and how it works.

once was when i accidentally ran a red light. yes accidentally. my friend was directing, said turn here, so i slowed to turn, then she said, no this isn't the turn keep going. so i accelerated. as i did the light turned orange and i wasn't going slow enough to stop on time. the car kind of lurched forward as though the press of the accelerator was slow to start and then it was on.
i went to break, knew i would stop over the line so kept going. next thing it's paparazzi and i'm driving down the red carpet. chick chick chick. cameras lighting up.

next was when i was over taking a slow ute driver doing 75 in an 80 zone. he'd been driving slow for kilometers. finally i had a break in traffic and accelerated to move into flowing traffic. trouble was it was a down hill slope. again the accelerator went vroom. and there i am, paparazzi again, doing 85 in an 80 zone. chick chick.

next was ages later driving through town at 60 trying to figure out why my cruise control won't work. i kept pressing cruise on, then pushing the button up or down to set the speed at 60, let go of the accelerator and my speed creeps up again towards 70. i try again and again and again, pressing up and down and around and round. still when i leave it to the car to stay at that speed it creeps up. next thing paparazzi pop out of nowhere, flashing cameras at me like i'm a super star. and i get done for 68 in a 60 zone.

you've got to be kidding me!

what each of those stories have in common, that a stagnant camera on a pole and those who reap the rewards don't care about, is there was never any intent. surely intent has to play a part if it's to be considered a crime.

use to be police had to follow you for 3kms before booking you because they had to know you were deliberately trying to speed. not some accidental press of an accelerator or an inability to work cruise control or stop in time.

on a road (just one road) that generates $20 million a year for the government, there are 2 cameras along one stretch of road only 7kms apart. my friend got done twice in minutes of each other for doing over 100km along that road. got done twice! that's like pulling someone over and giving them 2 fines for the same crime.

so not only do they think people with no intent are criminals, they also book those 'criminals' twice for the same crime. and all because the government has gotten drunk of the lucrative rewards those stagnant (let's take a 1 second view of a person's life and pretend to know they've committed a crime without giving them the benefit of the doubt) cameras bring in.

some times the world is a shameful place to live.

open your eyes people

my eyes have been open since i was a little girl. i knew that i was being told my place, my lot in life was as some object to be used and sexualised. everything around me told me that my place in life was to be sexy because that's what men want (only they don't really want it because they're no respect for it). tv shows, movies, mags, men's clubs, advertisements, signs, porn, men talking about women. it all pointed to one thing: that females are there to be owned and used, just like a car.
now some decades later the shit has hit the fan. the shit i saw coming when i was a little girl. all this over sexualisation of women has created a ferocious biological entitlement of men.
men now seek out porn, hookers, sex trafficked women and children, free, cheap, easy, dirty sex at ridiculously phenomenal rates. all because of something i saw coming as a child. if only i'd had a voice. if only i could be heard. if only i would be listened to. but i'm just one person. one mere woman in a sea of seedy lecherous greedy men who will sell our souls for the all mighty dollar. and a hundred million other seedy lecherous selfish men who will buy our souls for a moment of cheap thrills.

if only they'd rise up and say no. if only men and women would rise up and stop buying into the ill treatment of women. if only they'd stop buying and watching porn. if only they'd stop watching any and all shows that portray women as sex objects (i.e. under belly, game of thrones, and all those other hundreds of derogatory movies) if only they'd stop paying for and being strippers and sex workers. if only they stop buying mags, including women's mags which are all about feeding us the beauty myth. if only they'd stop buying sexist t.shirts and sexualised clothing. if only people would get a clue and learn to fight the system that has enslaved us and made women and children sexual commodities and men sexual slaves to the system.

come on people .. open your eyes!

fat shamming vs fat acceptance

i can understand people's desire not to be hated on for being overweight or obese. no person should be hated, shamed, mocked disrespected for their appearance. 

there is movement towards plus size models and photographers taking pics of women of all shapes and sizes. the diversity of women and men's preferences for different women is being highlighted more and more, as we move away from the standard model the press has set us to believe is the ideal.

but .. is being overweight or obese really a body shape / type, or the outward signs of an uncontrollable addiction to food?

body shapes for women are pear, apple, athletic etc. you can get skinny pears, medium pears and overweight pears. yes women come in all shapes and sizes but not sure if obesity should be celebrated or supported. isn't that just the corporations who make us this way winning? or is it us fighting back and reclaiming our rights? are we saying 'you made us fat now deal with the fall out as we become the new norm'?

if we did something similar like photographed women of all different types of addictions would we be as celebratory if the women were heroin addicts, alcoholics, gamblers? and what of over weight or obese men? are they equally celebrated or supported?

i'm all for people not being mistreated for how they look. at the same time claiming that overweight and obese people should be ok'd by society as somehow some new norm is not a good thing. 

people in this condition are struggling, miserable, unhappy .. otherwise why turn to food to hide the pain you're feeling? 

being gay is not a sin, hating them is

some religious people actually believe being born gay is a sin. some believe it's a sinful choice made by adults. some believe satan has gotten in to them and made them gay, an abomination, sinners to be persecuted, hated, hunted down, killed. i think IF satan has made them gay it's because he wants to insight hateful riots by seeing how many people will be filled with anger, hatred and judgement. thus, those who hate them are the sinners buying into satans evil game.

but alas i don't believe in satan and i don't believe being gay is a sin. i also don't believe they choose their sexual orientation any more than heterosexual people choose theirs, or any more than people choose their skin colour or their race, or any more than women choose to be women (i.e. the lesser sex in the eyes of others).

no one chooses something that will be hated and disliked; to do so goes against the laws of self preservation.

if you consider jesus (jehovah, allah, whomever you follow) was hunted down and persecuted because others wanted him dead, because they didn't like the peaceful message he was spreading - a message we were meant to learn from .. hello!!!!; then why would he want us to be doing the same (hunting down and persecuting) gays in name? he wouldn't. if your god could see you now he'd be so angry that his name is being used to insight such hateful bigotry, just as he was deeply saddened when whites when to church on sunday then hung negros from trees during the week.

no god wants you to hate. no god wants you to judge. no god wants you to be filled with anger or fear or the kind of evil that has people hurting others because they don't agree with them. to have any of those feelings in your heart is a sin. you are sinning if you do and feel that way.

remember god tests us .. and he has created man in his image .. therefore it stands to reason that gays are here to test YOUR spirit. are you failing god's test?!

sex is shameful

we make a big deal out of sex. a super big deal. especially, but not just, female sex. it's not ok to be a teen acting on your new sexual desires*. you can't explore that sexual desire. if you like to have 2 lovers, you will be enjoyed in the moment then disrespected after the fact. if you enjoy one night stands you're a sinner, a skank, a ho, someone cheap, someone giving out for free. regardless of the fact that sometimes you meet and the feeling is just there. certain deeds are just wrong. men can't enjoy anal sex coz that's for the weaker sex. men can't just enjoy the female for the wonderful gift she's giving him (he wants it and is happy to meet someone who doesn't mind doing it) without slanging her afterward for being cheap, a slut, easy.

so many rules. so much shaming. so much telling females they're wrong if they supply the demand. so much telling females they're guilty if they pleased many men when those men wanted that from them. men are quite happy to use the female body but when it's over they'll disrespect her spirit. girls are happy to have that (easy) girl at the party yet have no respect for her after the boys have chewed her up and spat her out. where is their anger at the guys for being such assholes, users, disrespectful?

*even though it is ok for adults to shove their sexual desires down throats of babes

guys and anal sex

what is it with guys and anal sex? they're so driven to want to do it to girls but heaven forbid we want to do it to them.

when i asked my bf if i could do that to him he was repulsed and said 'yuk i'm not doing that'. 'that' like it's some really disgusting thing to do. something only a lowly female would do. some shit ass person who is beneath him .. he's above that shit.

he crapped on about exit only, men aren't made for that blah blah blah.

what he's really saying is coz i'm female i am made for that and there is no 'exit only' with women - a seriously misogynistic thing to think.
he wants me to do it and not just do it, but readily do it, enjoy it, want to do that for him. coz he wants it, he think i should do it, coz i'm female,  and just naturally want to please the man.

i know there are chicks out there who like it, enjoy it, it turns them on and they can climax that way. i also know there are chicks out there doing it out of obligation coz their bf is in the mood for sex but doesn't have a condom and doesn't want to risk pregnancy (or he thinks her butt is sexy), selflessly, so he can get his rocks off.

i don't 'not' enjoy it. it's not that it bothers me or i'm prudish in that way and have a firm belief in exit only. what's ticks me off is he won't let me do it to him in return and acts as though anal sex is a really lowly thing for him to do. i asked him "if it's a low thing to do then then why are you asking me to do it?" he fell silent and I felt enraged.

i'd do it .. if the man would do it too. i won't be anyone's lowly female doing 'that which is too disgusting' a man just won't do it. hypocrites!!!!!!

males seem to think because they have an appendage that will benefit from the use of the female ass we should do it for them; but we should not have the use of their ass in the same way because we have no such appendage.

i know there are girls out there who can relate to this.

free the nipple

there is a free the nipple movement and i can see where they're going with that. why are men's nipples ok and female nipples aren't. in fact why are men's chests ok while female chests are not? of course the answer is we've turned female breasts into sexual organs and once something becomes a sex object it must remain hidden for fear it will turn people on. sex and the public supposedly don't go together (but generally sex and the public go hand in hand for advertisers).

“It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-11 store. So you can sell breast, but you cannot wear breast, in America.” – Violet Rose

men were once not allowed to go around topless and they protested for their right to do so and a year later they could.

there are those who might assume women could do the same right now, however, there are a couple of serious things to consider.

1) when men fought for chest rights they were not sexualised so their nakedness was not a threat to other men or how they might be treated (i.e. groped, raped etc.), and men were allowed to go around topless in private i.e. around the house and backyards (this is not the case in many instances for women)

2) women are highly sexualised in the media which would impede our ability to go around topless without fear of being victimised (i.e. groped, raped, shamed etc.)

3) men grope women's breasts in night clubs, on beaches, where ever they damn well please because they can, they have the power and we've created a lovely thing called rape culture, thus women being topless around men would add to their desire to attack us and victimise us

4) we shame women's bodies at an alarming rate, if you don't look a certain way - have acceptable nipples, acceptable breasts, acceptable bodies (and ideal placed upon us by men) people berate you and treat you like you have no right to exist let alone go around half naked (even though unattractive men can)

5) the vast majority of women feel insecure about their bodies, if they went around topless and got harassed or berated the protest wouldn't work because we'd all go running for cover - and the protest cannot work if only women deemed acceptable win the fight to go around topless

6) the protest can only be done by those brave enough to go around topless and weather the treatment we'd endure for putting up this fight

7) due to the nature of the sexualised breast it would take women longer to win this war and even if we end up being allowed to expose our nipples this won't guarantee we'll be equal to men as a result and without a doubt all those exposed nipples/breasts would be photographed and end up on social media without our consent

where is everybody?

when people kill themselves you always hear other people saying, they shouldn't have done it, there is always somewhere for them to turn. it doesn't feel that way. i've been down for weeks. my friends know it. i've talked to them about it. my beau knows it. they don't do much to help and it feels like i can't ask them for help. when i ask something of them, like come for a visit, they pike out or say no. there are a couple who will come at the drop of a hat if i need. but i realised something today. i want fun, joy, happiness, laughter. there isn't much of that in my world lately. there hasn't been in ages. the people bring the laughter and if they're not around there is none. i do stuff by myself and can enjoy that. it's not laughter though. maybe contentment, but not laughter.

the fragile mind

the previous night they had, had a conversation about her depression. she had told him she'b been feeling down for 4 weeks now. he asked if she was down because of things he'd done. she explained how the depression was there first, and some of the things he did added to her negative thoughts, leaving her feeling more morose. he was sweet about it, gave her a hug. wanted to hold her that night in bed.
that night, before the conversation about her depression, he'd shown her an article '10 ways (for guys) to know if you're bad in bed'. it listed things like skipping foreplay, forgetting about her orgasm, she's faking orgasms, she's not making any noise, she's making too much noise.
she had said she could relate to all of the points to some degree. he was surprised yet showed no signs of resentment towards her remark. the article had said men think about sex all day while women think about work and dinner and someone who cut them off on the way home and not sex so much.
the following day she asks him if he thinks about sex all day. he says not all day, just sometimes during the day. she asked him what types of things made him think about sex. he told her, seeing an attractive woman up the street.
it might be a harmless comment. the type of comment any one could take like water off a ducks back.
but in that moment her mind had gone kaboom! on top of all else that remark hurt her in a way she couldn't' described. gutted came close. she didn't know why, only that on some basic level she would have much preferred he'd said something she did made him think about sex.
she wished she didn't have such a fragile mind and could laugh it off as 'that's how all people roll', it's nothing. and yet her thoughts had imploded and the depression got a little bit darker.

controlling us with food

there was a story about the chubby boy from the goonies, saying he was 80s fat. now our fat kids are uber fat. back in the 80s companies had started to control our food, what we eat, what's available to us, how much sugar we eat, where we can get our food, who supplies it, what adds and shows we see that make us want to eat what they say is available to us. years and years later control of our food has been squeezed to breaking point and so have our bodies. it makes me feel like we're being control with food and other means so that we end up unable to actually move or run or fight for the things we should be having / lives we should be living.

that girl who says it's ok for your bf to hit you

here's what i have to say about (name) and her rediculous message about girls should let their bfs hit them. it's a sign of love.

firstly dr phil handled her well, he posed questions to her she couldn't answer without perjuring herself. he said she was a hypocrit for wanting money from the bf who'd hit her, saying she'd drop the charges if he gave her the money. dr phil said she was a hypocrit for saying it's ok for him to hit her then wanting money from it, setting him up and lying to the public.

i thought she was more hypcritical because she charged him.

love, if it's ok for your bf to hit you, why did you charge him in the first place? is there a limit they can hit you? if so don't put up some video crapping on about how he didn't you hard enough so you broke up with him, because it means he doesn't love you enough.

she got caught out under dr phils intellect, research and whit. in the end she had no come back. when he announced something about her childhood she walked off stage. public conversation ended.

did she take the video down? apologize? admit she was a douche? admit it's not ok for a girl to be hit by her man, not ok for anyone to be hitting anyone. that it's all cock and bollocks when she says she dumped him because he didn't hit hard enough.

patricia arquette speech

so much talk about her speech saying it was racist and gayist and all that jazz. saying it was just privileged white chick playing victim when what the african americans are dealing with is so much worse.

some dude (or dudess) made a video about it using statistics on how bad they've got it and i don't deny it. it's shit. it's cock and bollocks. but .. one's person suffering doesn't denote another, even when it happens more often. that just proves the shit is bad and needs fixing.

nowhere in patricia's speech did she say what others had gone through was trivial. what she did say is we've (mostly and many women) have supported people in those positions, minorities, the mistreated, hard done by people. we've supported the down and out. we've fought for them.

to my mind, the only way to succeed it is to join together. all of the misfortunate. join in and say the same message. it's not good enough. i love hearing about the truth of what is happening to others and i'm glad that dudess put it out there. it gives us knowledge and something to fight for.

don't fob the white chick off because she's white and doesn't suffer what and how you suffer. she still suffers and understands suffering and wants change just as much as you do.

girls protect yourselves

a few nights ago a young girl, masa vukotic, was stabbed to death while walking through a park near her home close to 7pm at night.

since then the media has done it's usual twist airing things like females, they shouldn't be alone in parks (mick hughes). don't walk alone at night, don't wear headphones, don't take public transport alone, don't wear certain types of clothing. there always seems to be this onus on the female's part to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time. us females should keep ourselves safe from predators as best we can.

some agree saying it's being precautious because men will be men. mishel laurie (the project) says 'i'm going to continue to tell my daughter to lower her possibility of being in a vulnerable situation.'

being told we must stay inside to keep ourselves safe feels like step back into the olden days. it's like being told we're almost at fault if we dare to leave the house then get attacked. i understand caution. we all have an innate ability to be weary and be precautious. but when it's implied masa should not have walked alone at night time because that is what got her killed, it's completely misleading. what got her killed was a a man intent on harming someone that night.

that's what gets all people killed. someone being intent on harming someone. considering majority of females are attacked in their own homes by men who supposedly love them, i fail to see how telling us to stay home and not walk around at night time is actually being precautious.

i disagree with meshel completely when she says surely it's easier to tell females to stay safe than it is to tell men not to hurt us, because the fact is we haven't tried teaching men that. whereas we've been educating women for decades on how to be safe and it's not working. men are not educated or their emotions explored around their propensity towards violence and it's been that way for a long time. they're not taught where to seek help if they do feel like hurting someone, they're not taught to seek understanding from another male friend who can maybe calm them down.

instead we continue to focus on what the females can do to remain safe. time for a new strategy!

addictions

addictions are a funny thing.

there are acceptable ones and non acceptable ones.

alcohol - yes

recreational drugs - no

legal medications - yes

food - we're still in debate, growing sizes say people are ok with it

coffee - yes

porn - yes

child porn - no but this could be changing

gym - yes

steroids - we're in debate

odd addictions - like sleeping with your hairdryer - we think they're mostly harmless yet stupid

hoarding - no

mental (ocd) - we're opening to it

computer - still waking up to it

why are we ok with some addictions and not others?

The dumbing down of men

many men are unhappy and disgruntled with their lot. you talk to them and you’ll hear how they hate their jobs, their bosses, their wives, their lives. they hate having to work for the man for a fraction of what the bosses earn even though they work harder than the bosses. they have to work long hours to provide a roof over their heads and food on the table. they have to slave away for hours a day doing a job they hate til death / retirement do they part so they can earn the bare minimum to get by so they can line the pockets of the filthy rich. it’s compulsory to work unless you want to be a homeless bum or live off welfare. work is not a choice. work is not negotiable. it's expected of all of us. it’s frustrating to be a man trying to work your way into some type of middle class social status so you can pretend your life is better and you have more rights. you have a couple of choices; be a doll bludger who can hardly afford to exist, work your ass off to become middle class with a house, car, wife and kids, work extra specially hard (or skill / luck) to make it into the rich class to become one of the rich assholes you (and the world) despises so much. you hate them so much because they monopolise everything. control everything. dictate everything. decide how you will and can live. in fact the only reason you have to work is to line their stinking rich pockets while you struggle with the price of fuel, bank fees, rising bills, rising interest rates, tax rates and all the other bloody rates in the world, that exist jut to line the pockets of the filthy rich.

men unhappily working their asses off so they can kind of almost keep up with the jones’s without any great deal of hope that life will get that much better when they’re there. men who unhappily work knowing they will never even remotely get there and their world will never be better. even if you reach some semblance of middle class you’ll find that life still stinks.

then there is divorce where women win most of the custody battles even though the court system is run by and created mostly by men. in short the whole world is rich men dictating the lives of pore to middle class men and men having to suck that shit up because there is no other way around it. there is no other way of making the world some fairer better more equal place.

so what do men do to cope? they drink, they use drugs, they watch porn, they treat women and children like shit or punching bags or sex toys. they feel angry and resentful and take it out on those around them. king hitting pore souls in the street. get addicted to ice. visiting prostitutes and wanting to do the horrific things to them they've seen done to women in the porn vids they’re addicted to. they sext on facebook, send dick selfies to women they have befriended in hopes to have some sex talk while wanking off to words on a screen – because it made them forget about their shitty life for a moment. the porn that they watch, the drugs they take, the alcohol they drink, the food they each to forget about their dreary lives lines the pockets of the filthy rich who boxed them into the shitty lives they live in the first place. they even create the shitty porn and traffic women and children that hurts and damages them in the hopes that they’ll make it into the filthy rich group who set them up to fail in the first place. they’re depressed, they’re taking pills for mental disorders, pills to keep their dicks hard, pills to make them happy, pills to make them forget and become zombies.

what do the rich do to keep the masses happy and content and not thinking about how shit their lives are, how unfair it is to work for the sole purpose to line the pockets of the filthy rich? they create addictions, drugs - legal and illegal, alcohol, gambling, fast food, coke, sugar, sexism, sex sells, more strip clubs, more porn mags, more pop / porn stars, more men’s mags, more men’s shows full of tits and bums, more prostitutes (and if they can’t get more they force more women into it by trafficking women), they invent porn in all arrays of fetishes and interests, violent, abusive, hurtful, damaging, addictive. all to line their own pockets and shut the people up so they don’t argue against the unjust world they live in.

men viewing child porn is on the rise. men who abuse their partners is on the rise. men who abuse drugs and alcohol is on the rise. all because they’re pissed off about their lives, pissed off that they feel powerless to change anything for the better, pissed off that they can’t “pay back” that prick of a boss who treats them like shit even though without them the company wouldn’t exist, pissed off that women are now wanting and demanding more rights while the rights of men is still woefully inadequate.

it’s like we’ve reached some crisis point, created some armageddon within humanity. too many people for the government to actually take care of. too many people who require mental health care, too many abused women who require assistance, too many children who are abused and lost in the system, with minimal funds actually put into helping citizens, while billions of dollars are spent inventing ways to keep the people quiet and further line the pockets of the filthy rich.

are you really a good person

when you speak to people and ask them if they think they're a good person, a caring person, a descent person, most will say yes. they think because they care for their friends and family, defend their family, look after their children, wives, husbands, pets. brothers, sisters etc. that they're good people. they think they're the kind of people who don't deserve to go to prison or be prosecuted and at the end of the day their head hits the pillow and they sleep easy at night.

those same people may do any of the following:
watch animal crush videos, watch child porn, watch porn in general (dehumanizing), bet on race horses that are fed drugs to make them better yet damages their bone structure and health, watch dog / cock fights, verbally coerce girls into having sex with them when they don't want to, go to a party and let others rape a drunk girl, try to have sex with a sleeping girl, hate muslims, hate other races, hate gays, hate sluts, abuse members of their families, cyber bully, visit asian child sex brothels, talk about raping girls who friend zone them, bet on camel races that use child slaves, want to take exs for all their money, use the children as leverage to hurt each other in a divorce, lie and back-stab other people, accept factory farming and animal abuse, rape and pillage the earth for profit, rape and pillage the community and people for a profit .. the list goes on. the list of ALL the things we people do in a day, accept in a day, don't fight in a day, and still class ourselves as descent citizens.

i put it to you that you aren't nearly as descent or a good a person as you think you are. in fact you're really just another asshole swimming in a fetid sea with other putrid assholes. and those assholes make you feel less of an asshole because they're just as shit as you are.

porn and you

it isn't fun being me. isn't fun being the only one among my friends who is outspoken about the damage of porn. the only one who can see it for the bullshit it really is. my friends say things like 'the girls choose to be there for the money and stuff so why is it wrong to watch it'. most men i know with wives and daughters would hate for either to say they want to be a porn star yet see it as ok to watch someone else be one. if i told my friends i was a porn star, aside form thinking i'm a hypocrite, many would judge me as less than. my family would disown me even though i'd hazard a guess that some have watched porn in their life time. men who are interested in porn would suddenly take the wrong kind of interest in me, assume i'm no longer human and up for anything and everything. in the very least ask about my movies and hope to see them. yet they'd hate for females they know to be in the industry. is it ok to accept an industry you wouldn't want to do yourself or have others you know take part? i don't think so.

then again being the type to want someone you know to be in the industry, like dads who pimp their children out as child porn victims, trafficking your girlfriends or pimping out your girlfriends so you can make money isn't ok either. it isn't being open minded if you're doing it for ulterior motives, like bragging to you mates about your girlfriends job, or hurting the person just to make profit.

for the most part noone really chooses to be a porn start. little girls don't grow up saying i want to be porn star when i grow up. those who choose this industry do so because they're desperate for money. being desperate for money makes your actions a decision not a choice. many in the industry are abused, hurt, tortured and dehumanized. anyone thinking it ok to support this industry by watching, buying and sharing it is an asshole of a human being and needs to understand the repercussions of buying into this industry. an industry they don't want their own loved ones doing, an industry that hurts those they're watching. buying into this makes them not a nice person no matter how decent a person they think they are.

yet my friends don't get this. they think i'm a prude, that i'm judging them for liking porn, that i think i'm better than them because i don't buy into it. i'm not a prude, i don't dislike people who like porn - i just wish i could make them see it's not an descent humanitarian thing to be into, to do to others, and i kind of do think i'm better than them .. better educated at least. because i know shit about the sex industry they all choose to ignore.

friends grow distant because my views offend them (only because they know they're guilty of buying into it, or know someone who knows someone. we all know someone) but the bigger picture is girls are hurt and damaged by this industry and if we are really descent human beings we wouldn't allow that to happen by purchasing or viewing the shit.

it's dictatorship not democracy

the suffragettes did well getting women the right to vote. they fought the system for a long time to get the right to vote. they wanted women to get a say in what happened in the world. up til then women were quiet.

im sure the suffragettes didn't give us that right to vote so we could do so little with it. voting is meant to be the public talking with the government about what they want and why. we find ourselves in a situation where that isn't happening. and still we're quiet.

off the top of my head i could raise a handful of topics that the public don't like. nothings being done about them. rarely even hear about it half the time.

there's a rule in qld that enables companies to own coal lines on any farm. so tv tells my friend who tells me. i'd believe it. and i believe it would be the kind of thing they'd hide. fracking and the dangers of it. all they care about it getting rich and easy fuel. bastards.
kind of sick of corporations being able to do what ever they want if the price is right. this being something our government allows and something we don't fight.

we didn't vote for that. we don't want it. and there's many instances like that. i din't vote for mr murdoch to become ridiculously, no ceiling ever, rich! at our expense. i didn't vote for any powerful man or woman being able to do that.

i didn't vote for all my vegetables to be sprayed. where was our agreement. the agreement that specified which chemicals you're spraying without lying to the public about the effects?

i didn't vote for fake make-it-live-longer stuff being added to my food. how did my life get so taken over. how did any of our lives get so taken over. even the edlestines of the world lives have been taken over. they're ruled by greed.

in oz it's compulsory to vote. can you believe that. we get a fine if we don't vote (how ironic they should use the word fine - as though all is fine with getting a fine). if we chose that neither leader will suffice with a no vote we have to pay. pay what? what are we paying for? someones time to run a vote at tax payers expense? paying for the right to say NO i don't want you and what you stand for you gutless piece of shit.

being forced by fine is dictatorship. it's you saying 'you're doing what i told you to do'. i want a system where the public is told what is being done openly. and we get to chose which bits we want. ask us.

asking us is a democracy.

its ok to like sex

bedroom eyes

it’s ok to like sex, be interested in it, want to do it. many others do. and nothing i say here is to imply you shouldn’t or can’t.

if you're someone who speaks out about sexual treatment of people, some will say it's too prudish, too hypocritical, too rude, to anti men. yes i've had bad times with men and i've wondered a thing or two about them but i don't hate all men. i like men. i’m no prude. sex happens. it’s fun and something many like. i enjoy the act as much as the next (when it's done well).

it doesn't disgust me. i don't' think we should be celibate. there's nothing wrong with having a libido. i don't think it should be bland or dull. games are fun, dress ups are fun.

if you do too good on you. if you don’t good on you. whatever and each to his own.

the line is drawn when you’re showing it to the whole world coz somehow that validates your like for it. i don’t give a rats ass if you like to watch or like to show. do it so that only you guys know. trust me when i tell you not every one needs to or should see it. these days it seems you all can’t fucking not show us, even those too young to view are seeing and showing. it’s private and adult and that’s all there is to it.

there are lines to be drawn and everyone knows what they are even if they pretend they don't and hide behind labels like 'normal'. bullshit and bollocks. sharing, showing, and not ready by age, relationship or prepared .. are lines in the sand. you all know not to cross them and are just pretending you don't. you think all people, young and old, want to look, need too look, should look.

like it for all you want but draw those lines in the sand!!!!!