train story .. abusive boy friend gentle girlfriend

i didn't pay much attention to the couple sitting adjacent to me on the train. our seats faced forward and didn't face each other. beside i had my head buried in a book.

when i first heard the scuffle and looked up i thought the girl had almost dropped her bag and her boyfriend had quickly reached for it. then i saw the look on her face, her body language and saw that she had jumped into survival mode. been there, done that .. know what it looks like.

the boyfriend was grabbing the bag aggressively because she'd said or done something he deemed inappropriate and it instantly made him angry. though both quietly spoken he was having words with her, threatening and telling her off. he made a sign to hit her but didn't. she flinched. he kicked the back of the seat in front of him then stood up. she flinched again. he stood over her for  while having more quiet words while she waited to see what he'd do next.

he left the train for a little while but came back again this time standing over her trying to get his angry point across .. how dare she or what ever he was angry about. she was trying to stay strong and not cower too much but i could see she was afraid of him, afraid of setting him off, afraid of what he would do. i could see she knew what he was capable of and this worried her.

i prodded him in the leg and told him to stop, leave her alone. i stood up behind him asking him to leave her alone, even gently grabbing his arm to get his attention. he turned to me with the kindest face, the kindest look, and told me it's not my business. i asked him to move away, not to hurt her.

another lady was on the other side of him telling him if he didn't leave his girlfriend alone she'd call the police. another man stood and got his phone out in the ready.

during all this the girl friend held his large hand with her dainty hand (she was slim yet tall), rubbing his hand, softly telling him to calm down, all is well. neither raised their voice and neither voice was legible (strangely). their body language and actions said it all.

the boy friend left the train carriage and moments later she followed.

when they got off the train many stops later they were walking together, him hugging her as she walked.

i spent the rest of the night (and days that followed) afraid for her, hoping he wouldn't hurt her that night and that she'd be safe. worried that she would stay with him and not know her true worth - not know that she deserved better than that. and he deserved to get some anger manage help and learn to treat her like the gift he knew her to be.

bad girl, dirty girl, dirty talk, dirty bitch, freak

if sex is normal why are girls given bad degrading* names?

why not call us amazing, awesome, best, fantastic?

of course like every coin there is a flip side which is chicks who don't mind, *and even like, to be called those names. they wanna be known as a freak in the bed (me too sister). but let's be real, it's not like we're off-setting that side of the coin with the more inspiring side of the coin. like being awesome in bed.

why are we something gross (like slugs) if sex is perfectly normal for girls to do?

we use the word dog in reference to a person who cheats because dogs sleep around and are not sexually loyal.

we see people who are con artists as cockroaches or rats, because they can't be killed and they're a germ fest among society.

if y'all (guys) want girls having sex to be ok you should probably come up with some more flattering names, names that reflect that fact that us having sex with you is a good thing - not dirty, bad, freakish or bitchy.

all muslims are terrorists

all muslims suck, they're terrorists who marry under age girls, force their women to cover up, stone their women to death, come to other countries and stop christmas and national anthems...

they invented gonzo porn, torture porn, rape porn, revenge porn, festivals sluts, and songs that say 'i'll give you something to split your ass in two'... oh no... wait... that's us.  we do that.  us westerners.  us white & black men.




we terrorize our women because they dare to friend zone us, get girls drunk at parties so a group of guys can raped them, rape and sexually harass collage girls, rape 12 year old girls in public while people stand around watching, rape drunk 14 year old girls and film it to share around, then let our guys off when they rape our women because it somehow isn't their fault they're rapist...



75% of the worlds porn is made in the US, gonzo porn, the worst most sickest fuck to ever exist, is a US invention... pornography is a US invention (larry flynt) and there are a million billion non muslim men watching this shit... we create violently sexual / sexist shows like got that reinforce the rape culture we are perpetuating, we use our female performers sexually to titillate and make copious amounts of money for men....


crush videos, bdsm, sexually explicit music videos, sexism towards girls/women, sex trafficking (made worse by western men within the UN), king hitting, gun massacres... all these terrorizing things western men do...

while crapping on about how bad muslims are.  me thinks it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

open letter to pitt bull cuban amercian singer

i'm pretty sure after listening to your song international, pitbull, that you're into prostituted and trafficked women (girls). a bold statement i know! but let me explain how i've come to this conclusion.
 
once upon a time i heard the song throw your hands up and liked the song and the other spanish singers and thought you were alright.
then i saw your video don't stop the party with you, dressed, with naked women rolling around on a bed with you. straight away i knew, urk, this guy sexualises women and i wished i could take your cousins, your mother, your grandmother, any sisters or daughters you may have, aunties, nieces and put them naked in your video clip and see if you like how it feels to exploit your family members instead of other women.
sexual exploitation of women so you can make money. yuk!

your song international is you bragging about how much money you have and how many women you've had. money and women make you a success in your mind.

"100gs for sure
touched down everywhere
hit a home run everywhere
in romania  she told me pitt you can have me and my sister
down in dr they're looking for visa's i ain't taking credit cards if you know what i mean
en cuba la cosa esta dura but the woman get down if you know what I mean
en colombia the women got everything done but they're some of the most beautiful women i've ever seen
in brazil they're freaky with big ol' boobs and their thongs, blue yellow and green"

the countries list above are pore countries where women are forced to sell themselves sexually for money just to survive. quite often they're forced into prostitution and trafficked and here you are, pitbull, admitting you've been with women who are so desperate for a new life they're having sex with men in hopes for a visa. cuba, your home country, where the women get down (i supposed that means go down on you) and you're okay with using them in this manner because you get to them write a song about what a man you are because you've got money and this pays for you to have sex with women all around the world.

how about you stop treating women like they're your sexual playground and put some of those 100gs into stopping the abuse and sexual exploitation of these women. you made it out of cuba now go and help other women trying to escape extreme poverty instead of using your money as power over them. 

racism vs sexism

got is a popular series with lots of people talking about it at gatherings, on the internet, social media and such.

if got contained such words like nigger, boon, ching, redskin, gook, wog, a'rab, towel head (you get the picture) or if it contained outright threads against these people .. there would be an uproar. the only people who might like the show are racist caucasians who think that type of thing is funny or appealing (basically the type of people who watched romper stomper and saw it as a guru movie to follow and live by). people of colour on the other hand would hate the show no matter 'how great the story line'*.

the reason why there would be an uproar is because people of colour band together and agree on what is racist. think back to breakfast at tiffany's and the depiction of the stereotypical asian man.

mikey rooney's depiction of a stereotypical asian man vs sexism

where as women and men don't agree on what is sexist / sexism.
- people say *yes got is sexist and gratuitous but it's got a great story line.
- my son reads playboy or watches porn because it's normal for a young man to want to know about sex and the female body (even though porn is a terrible way to learn about sex / the female body).
- it's normal for men to admire the female body.
- i don't mind if my partner goes to strip clubs, i'm not jealous.

anti-sexism doesn't have anything to do with normality or jealousy. it is purely about treating men and women the same - just as anti-racism is all about people being equal.

it may be perfectly normal for men (and lesbians) to want to admire the female form and delight in full frontal female nudity - i.e. the (original) shining and devil's advocate. but where are the men walking towards the camera in all their naked glory? the only time i've seen this is in a helen mirren movie (go helen!) and even then the guy was not sexualised and the nudity was not gratuitous.

you never go to a male strip club and see men dancing around on table tops in g-strings, ladies going up and sitting at that table for a closer dance where the guy moves around removing the last bits of his clothing while she places money in his garter belt .. let alone getting a fully naked private dance with him in a private booth. the best the ladies get is the likes of magic mike (and even then the movie contained hits of gratuitous female nudity even though it was supposed to be aimed at women!). do you think there was any gratuitous male nudity in the shows strip tease or show girls?

people need to start getting on the same page when it comes to sexism and the basic rule of thumb is if you're not doing it to men then doing it to women is unequal and by definition sexist.

if we don't agree on what is right and fair and we can't win the battle.

custody rights and the legal system

i know a guy who had a relationship with a girl, nothing new or strange about that. the relationship carried on for a couple of years and during this time they did lots of drugs and had wild times. she got pregnant to him and already had another children to another man. he left her and fought long and hard to leave behind that scene, that life. years later and he's been on the path to mending and doing very well.

one day the ex dumps the kids on his doorstep. she's on the run from dhs and it's easier to run without kids in tow. she now has three children to three different men, none of whom have stayed with her because she's still in the drugo scene with no real means of quitting or getting any real help. you need money for rehab.

the children (including two that aren't biologically his) end up in his and his family's care for almost two years. during this time dhs catches up with her and she goes to prison for a while. before she goes to prison she tries to win back her children, taking her ex to court.

this is where the system is unfair and stupid. he has to pay for a lawyer to fight against her at the cost of around $700 per hour to prove that he is decent and fit enough to have the care of her children (his biological child). while she pays for nothing and doesn't have to prove she's fit enough because the law favours the rights of the mother no matter how screwed up the mother is.

this woman and her family are well known to dhs and have been in the system for years for neglect, abuse and drug related offenses and still, legally, the children are hers and she has a right to them. while the father who has a steady job, family support and has worked hard to be a decent and contributing citizen to society has to pay to prove he's a better parent.

there is no three strikes and your out. three strikes and you lose the rights to your children. three strikes and the children automatically get a better life living with more balanced caring able people. even her with her drugged up way of being she doesn't have to fork out a dime to prove she has legal rights to her children.

update: the father, who had the child in his custody for many months while the mother was in jail, ended up giving the child back when the mother got out of jail. he said that having a child interfered with his life and work. sadly even when fathers get custody of their children they sometimes realise how hard raising a child is. now the child is back with the abusive neglectful mother.

the handing down of family violence

once upon a time dark skinned people were taken hostage and shipped all across the globe to be used as slaves. there they were mistreated, beaten, abused, raped and killed. men and women formed relationships in this environment and raised children. those relationships would have been strained and full of anger, hurt and rage. man not being able to get his master back, having been stripped of his manhood and humanity, he'd have hated for his wife to disobey him and likely turned to violence as a way of redeeming his masculinity. the women, also mistreated by master and husband, would have taken their grief out on their children. those children grew up feeling the same way and doing the same things. taking out their pain and hardships on their family members.
come the 21st century and poverty is rampant, jail is very likely, little job prospects, lacking in education, drugs, alcohol prevail and inequality the violence continues.

once upon a time pore white folk were put in jail for stealing loaves of bread, handkerchiefs and other petty crimes. some went on boats to other countries and put in jails there. in jails they were stripped of their humanity and abused, neglected and mistreated. some prisoners as young as 9. growing up in that environment leaves them angry and bitter. those who get out of prison have to form relationships in the real world but they're angry and bitter and knowing nothing but injustice and brutality. husbands turn on wives, mothers turn on children. children grow up repeating the patterns they learned from their parents.
come the 21st century and poverty is rampant, jail is very likely, little job prospects, lacking in education, drugs, alcohol prevail and inequality the violence continues.

there are many nationalities who've had stolen generations such as, native amercians, aboriginies and the english in the 1900's. children who were taken from parents without consent, stuck in orphanages or homesteads, sexually abused, beaten and neglected. those children grew up hurt and damaged and not knowing how to be loved nor how to give love.

you take any nationality, jewish, chinese, middle eastern, native amercians, aboriginies, europeans, africans, and they all have something in common. we all have something in common! violent upheavals, wars, genocide, murder in the name of law or religion, violent backgrounds and upbringings that we're all trying hard to escape. but it's hard because violence is insidious and hard to escape when it's all you know.

time to start breeding a different type of human being.

depression

she's in her room lying on her bed still in her pj's. even though it's daylight the room is dark. dance music blares out of her stereo. she wants to dance but feels so sad and moody she's struggling to muster up the mental strength. too many other things on her mind. sad things. things that leave her feeling disconnected, un-important.

a song comes on that she likes so she stands up hoping the urge or music hits her. at first she sways and bobs subtly, not moving much. soon she's moving a bit more here and there and then almost getting lost in the music. almost. it's loud enough for the beat to have the potential to move her.

for a moment she does get lost in the music. holds onto a piece of gym equipment with both hands and moves her hips, trying to get a knot out of part of her leg. before she knows it she's swilled her way down into a squat. using her ab muscles she pulls herself up and is impressed about the strength she has, that her body is able.

seconds later she ponders him. he, whom she thinks about dancing for, with .. then remembers he doesn't show a lot of interest in her moves and abilities. his disinterest in her dancing doesn't stop her from dancing when she's feeling cheerful. it's just that often she doesn't feel cheerful enough to dance.

even now that random thought brings tears to her eyes and she plonks back down onto the bed again. feeling teary and sad yet wishing she felt like dancing. where did that joyous feeling go?

7 men

and then there were seven as happens on reality tv.

7 men in a room talking about their wives, one man's wife in particular. of the 7 men one is a self professed stripper watcher. one man turns another man's wive into a sex object by asking how the man can have a conversation with her without staring at her (large breasts). guess which man it was?

'they' say it's regular man stuff that all men do, perfectly normal. yet of the 7 men only 1 objectified her. normal? not really.

the other men were appalled, at least several claimed to be, yet non told the other man how they felt about his banter. even then they were only annoyed that the husband was insulting his own wife and letting others insult her .. but not about the sexual objectification of a woman.

i mean seriously ..

what if they'd done that to HIS wife or theirs?

what if she was your daughter?

 

this pic pissed me off. it shits me because the only reason this father feels this way is because he knows what kind of shit other males are going to put his daughter through. and he knows this because he and other men treated girls badly when they were younger.
instead of telling boys to stay away from his daughter why doesn't he and other men, talk to each other about the respectful things they do to and for women?
why don't they start by changing the conversation?
if you're not bragging about how you fucked some chick 50 ways from sunday you wouldn't have to worry that some day some dickhead is going to do the same to your daughter.
if you're not bragging about how you groped some chicks breasts like it's a conquest you wouldn't have to worry that some day some dickhead is going to do the same to your daughter.
if you talked about what a work of art sex is, how it's a skill to treat a female with respect, dignity and equality, how all women deserve the respect you wish to be shown to yourself and your daughter, you'd change the way other guys are going to treat your daughter.
instead of telling guys to steer clear of your girl why don't you men make it that men won't want to abuse or mistreat women because YOU don't abuse or mistreat them.
it starts with you and if you are treating women nicely talk about it, shout it out. let other men know this is how they're supposed to treat females.
then maybe t.shirts like this will be unnecessary.

too little too late

that's like when you always wanted something and whomever it was never gave it, refused to give it even when you asked, hinted, begged, cried.

even when you logically explained how one day it would be too late because there's only so much you can handle of them not giving you what you know they can, but refuse to. they were still like, nah you exaggerate, it will never be too late for me to realise you had a point all along, not believing you can predict how you'll feel in the future.

and then when that day comes they're thinking, what's this new thing you're doing were you're acting like it's too little, too late?

in your mind you knew this day would come. you knew you would reach the point of no return. you would reach the point where you just didn't feel the same, want the same, care the same.

now they're attempting to be nice and you're like, eh... don't care, doesn't feel all that good this many years too late.

you wish it did because it's what you always wanted. now it's finally here you feel like it's hard to believe. hard to trust. hard to care. hard to feel the same in return.

they say they've finally realised you were right, they needed to appreciate what they had because now they realise how good you are.

your stuck wondering how you're going to turn your feelings around. believe them. trust they're telling the truth.

but the biggest hurdle is overcoming all the stuff they made you believe about yourself, about your relationship with them. now you're stuck trying to restructure your heart.

abortion man or religions choice, or yours

should man, government or religion have say over a woman's body?


abortions are a very private thing that those who are apposed to it most likely haven't been in a position to understand. if they had experienced it first hand they'd understand there are so many variables behind the choice and it's not an easy choice to make.

you have to understand, those who've been there done that know they've robbed the world of a precious being. that little being might have saved the world and made it all they way to jupiter's moon and back.
or .. they could have turned into some resentful bigoted thang who thinks the world owes them.

you're a woman, he wants you to get rid of they baby, you don't.
who gets the final say in this situation?

you want to get rid of the baby, he doesn't.
who gets the final say in this situation?

neither of you want anything to do with 'it'
who gets the final say in this situation?

you're underage, not ready to be a mum, addicted to drugs or alcohol, you were raped, your career is booming and a baby will destroy it coz women can't have it all, society hates on single mothers living off welfare.

50iddy billion reasons why and how and when and where it could get complicated.
who gets the final say in this situation?

she should.

since the woman is the one who has to carry a baby full term it should be 100% her choice. if he doesn't want to keep the baby she should raise it by herself. if she can't raise it by herself she should consider not bringing another life into this (overpopulated) world. if he wants her to keep the baby but she doesn't he should find himself another partner who is on the same page as him and wants children, not force her into having it because he says so.  if she wants to adopt the baby out, her choice. if she wants to keep the baby and raise it on her own, her choice. if she doesn't want to keep the baby and have it aborted, her choice.

in all cases it should be the woman's choice. religion (created by man) should not come into play and even if it does she'll face her time at the pearly gates right! government should not come into play and make laws about what a woman can and cannot do with her body. man should not come into play coz it's not his body the baby grows inside. that maybe seen as unfair and unequal but it's just how we've been designed.

at the end of the day it should always be the woman's choice with her living with the choices she makes.