Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
bridezilla - story part four
M comes back from her honeymoon and phones me complaining about how bad the honeymoon was and how sick she'd been - all about her and her woes. She'd had an atopic pregnancy while on honeymoon and took great pleasure in describing to me the horror of it and the effect it had on her honeymoon. I wanted to be sympathetic yet she is so negative ALL of the time, to me it was yet another negative story and I didn't really want to hear it. [I'd had an atopic pregnancy before and it didn't kill me, not even nearly. Get over it you pathetic piece of shit.] I wanted to hear something positive. The honeymoon was great, perfect, so romantic - but that wasn't to be. She also thanked me for all the help and support I'd given her over the weeks before her wedding. At this piece of bullshit I drew the line and said outright, "That's not what I heard" and proceeded to tell her how she'd complained I wasn't giving enough, doing enough, how I was all take and no give and used and abused her generosity. How she'd told people I didn't help around the house when I had. How she'd told people I hadn't paid for anything when I'd spend thousands of dollars on her and her wedding. How she'd told people I hadn't paid for my nails when her mum had offered to pay for them.
Her response. She denied ever having said any of it. Told me it was everybody else opinion of me that I was hearing and they were just saying it was her because they didn't want to admit how they felt. In the end she insisted she had loved having me stay at her house and was so very thankful with how much I had helped out. Saying she hoped we were still friends and that she's glad we've sorted everything out. I believed her. I don't know why. I guess she was just very convincing. For all of about an hour when my lover phoned me to ask me what I'd said to M that upset her so badly. Huh?
Turns out she'd found his long distance number on her phone bill (which i paid for, she was never out of pocket) and decided to phone him, telling him that she tried to get me to understand how much she'd done for me and how much I had been all take and no give, claiming that she just couldn't get me to see reason. Could he perhaps speak to me and set me straight. On the one hand it was SO incredibly out of line for her to call him and bag me to him. How dare she! On the other hand it finally cinched the deal for me and for the first time my lover realised I had been telling the truth about her all along. He said to me, "She's crazy!" Yes! I shouted. That's what I've been saying all along. She is full of shit and cannot tell it to my face to save herself. She is a total liar and a major backstabber.
She wanted to look good all the time, to never be the one who looked bad in people's eyes. This extended to her putting others down constantly to make herself look good. She loved playing the victim and loved monopolising the conversation with her woeful attention seeking stories.
Getting copies of wedding photos was yet another saga with M asking me if I was only using her for the photos or was I still her friend? My reply was that I'm entitle to those photos since I'm in them and I'll never be her friend again.
Of course it didn't end there. I ended up getting phone calls and texts from her now husband and his friends, including the bridesmaid, trying to convince me I was wrong and I hadn't treated her with the respect she so deserved, after she'd opened her house and heart to me all I had done was use her and take her for all she could give. What kind of bitch was I to treat such a giving person so badly? She was right and I was wrong and they knew that for a fact, they said. I also got prank calls in the middle of the night, them thinking it was funny to harass me.
In one such phone conversation with the bridesmaid, she was telling me how much she had liked me and how cool she thought I was but now she realised I wasn't really a nice person. How I'd only done those things, like wedding trinkets by myself, so I could pretend to have helped out. Suggesting I had ulterior motives for the few generous things I did do - to try and look good. I told her she doesn't know what she's talking about. If she thinks M bags me a lot she should have heard how often and how much M bagged her during my time there. I told her, "If you think you were spared you're sadly mistaken". She went quiet a moment, I could hear some type of kerfuffle (like I was on speaker phone and M was listening) then she abruptly said she had to go. I know for a fact M was standing in the room with her at the time, she'd been feeding the bridesmaid stories in order to get her to phone me in the first place. Would have loved to be a fly on the wall after that conversation.
Eventually it all stopped and people left me alone - though there was some residual family fallout as family members heard from her how bad I was and I never got a chance to defend myself.
I never heard from M and to this day we're no longer friends and never will be. She cannot see how wrong she was and how she was the abuser not me. She was the one who chewed me up and spat me out like some piece of shit on the bottom of her shoe, after all I had done for her (not the other way around). I know her game. She doesn't like herself much and bagging others and making out they're so horrible and awful builds herself up - only it doesn't really. She knows she's a backstabbing bitch underneath all that pretend generosity and fake niceness. Bottom line is it's hard to be friends with somebody that insecure that they'd treat others, their only friend no less, so badly. No wonder she has no friends. She's simply too self absorbed, too busy playing victim and martyr, too busy being fake to ever form a genuine friendship.
Less than a year later she had her husband had split up and less than two years later divorced. As ridiculous as it is, to this day I've wanted to contact him and his friends and ask them if they ever realised I was right!
bridezilla - story part three
I am so angry I phone my interstate lover to vent, telling him she is sending me insane and I can't do this anymore. I want out! He settles me down, claiming it's not as dramatic as it seems and plans to come down and visit me soon.
The following day I phone the beauty salon where M had booked a facial for me for my birthday (even though I'd already had one) and cancelled the appointment. I didn't want to be all take and no give. In fact I outright didn't want to accept another thing from her! The salon phones M telling them I was really rude to them and M comes home and gives me an ear bashing for being rude to the salon lady. I don't care. It's all bullshit. I wasn't rude. Only hurt. I tell M I don't want to be all take and no give. She gets my point but doesn't really get it. She simply thinks I'm being rude and sarcastic.
Later on the bridesmaid comes over and isn't speaking to me. I assume it's because she's angry at me for the unnecessary reaming she got the night before. I want to pull the bridesmaid aside and clarify the phone call however M beats me to it, dragging her into her bedroom. They're in there for over an hour, no doubt M backstabbing me. M had been vacuuming when the bridesmaid arrived even though I had vacuumed the previous day and I saw her whisper to the bridesmaid about me. Mostly likely saying, "Look at her sitting there doing nothing while I vacuum." When they come out they're both not talking to me. And we're off to get practice makeup done. It was really awkward and awful with all the animosity and snubbing going on.
My birthday fell at the time I was at M's house. I planned on organising something with my bestie and other friends (I haven't seen in years) however M tells me she has something planned for me so not to plan anything, make sure I'm home. I plan nothing for my birthday only to find what M had planned was a mudcake for my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that she did something, while at the same time I think, for a mudcake, I couldn't have been doing something much more amazing and fun with my friends. I'd gotten hors d'oeuvres out, all diet food since M was starving herself to be a size 6 for her wedding, and made black Russians for us all to celebrate my birthday. M has just a sip of the drink and a slither of cake, hoping that I'll eat the rest. I am aware by this stage she has been trying to fatten me up since my arrival. She continually came home with fattening foods such as shortbread cookies, chocolate and now mudcake all for me to polish off. I'd been having none of it, throwing it out when she wasn't home. Then after her sip of drink and sniff of cake she gets on her walking machine to exercise, while her fiance sits down to watch TV. And that's it, that's my birthday! Happy birthday to me! Again I find myself fuming because I could have gone out and spent the night with genuine friends having a genuinely good time. Instead I'm left alone at the dinning table sipping my black Russian and refusing to eat the cake. No one touched the hors d'ouvres I'd made. Cracking it, I leave the house and go for a really long walk around a dark school oval all the while rambling to myself how fucked this whole situation is. I had to vent. I had to let it out. When I return an hour later she's still on the machine and I go to bed.
My lover phoned me in the middle of the night (time zone difference) to wish me happy birthday and I vent to him while they're in bed.
Some days afterward he arrives to stay with us and as I leave to pick him up from the airport (by now my car had arrived from interstate and I now had my own transport) M tells me not to bag her to him. I just glare at her. Ha! What a hypocrite. My poor lover. I didn't just bag M, I went off on an insane ramble of how mental she was making me and how I couldn't wait for this fucking nightmare to be over. Over the weeks everyone who knew M had stopped being friendly to me and I knew why, she was bagging me to them, telling them her cock and bull story about how she's all give and I'm all take. My poor lover was hoping to be reunited in fits of passion only to find me too stressed and strung out and depressed to be even remotely any kind of good lover. He was angry about this and wished I would calm down. She seemed fine to him and he was sure I was exaggerating.
The week he was there before the wedding was somewhat bliss. He took my mind off her and she doted on him, leaving me the hell alone. He could do no wrong. He took us all out for dinner and for days she insisted to me that she should pay him back, only to be crest fallen when I told her he's rich and doesn't need to be paid back. M has always wanted a rich boyfriend. Later on she told me I was lucky to have someone as good as him, implying I was so shitty it's a miracle I've found someone as good as him. Then realising what she said, lied and added that he's also lucky to have me too. I gave her a rye smile. By now I knew her lying game. How fake she was. I saw right through her bullshit.
My lover and I went shopping to get the bride and groom presents for their wedding, sparing no expense. If she claimed I was all take and no give I wanted to show her I could be just as giving. We presented the gifts to them two days before the wedding. The following day she came home with gifts for me to thank me for the gifts I'd given her and I realised then it didn't matter how giving I was, she was going to outdo me so she could insist I wasn't as giving as her (not giving in general).
One night she and I were sitting at the dining room table alone and she told me I was her only friend and she hoped we'd still be friends after this. I cannot recall my response however I know I was thinking "Not likely". The wedding was soon upon us. This would soon be over.
They day of the wedding all the men had slept over at the grooms house while the girls were at the brides. The bride went to all the appointments before us, hair, makeup. Each time we rocked up to a place the bride had been before us I was greeted with contempt and disdain. By now I knew how it worked because she had suckered me in, in the beginning. When she had complained and bagged everyone for being so lazy and not helping with the wedding I'd taken her at her word and didn't understand why they weren't helping out. It hadn't taken me too long to see she wasn't telling the truth. But these people she was speaking to didn't know me, they only knew what she said about me and what she said wasn't nice. So they treated me like the awful greedy selfish person she'd made me out to be. At the wedding and reception I kept walking in on her whispering to others about me. Convincing anyone who'd listen that I was a bad person.
She left me and my lover at the wedding at the end of the night, not sparing us second thought. Didn't say goodbye or let us know she was heading off. She just left. We had been packing up all the gifts into my car and she'd just left us there. Two interstate people who had no idea where we were or how to get back to her house. We had to stop and ask a taxi driver for directions. At her house we found her getting her hair-do removed by the bridesmaid, the person she bagged the absolute most (except perhaps 2nd to me). She was cold and distant and barely talking to us and I was so eager to get out of there. We'd already made arrangements to be else where on her wedding night because she'd already said she hopes we're not staying.
It was finally over. The wedding night had come and gone. It had been an absolute nightmare. I'd lost two dress sized from the stress of it and pretty much hated her guts by the end of it...
I was wrong though. It wasn't over.
The following day I phone the beauty salon where M had booked a facial for me for my birthday (even though I'd already had one) and cancelled the appointment. I didn't want to be all take and no give. In fact I outright didn't want to accept another thing from her! The salon phones M telling them I was really rude to them and M comes home and gives me an ear bashing for being rude to the salon lady. I don't care. It's all bullshit. I wasn't rude. Only hurt. I tell M I don't want to be all take and no give. She gets my point but doesn't really get it. She simply thinks I'm being rude and sarcastic.
Later on the bridesmaid comes over and isn't speaking to me. I assume it's because she's angry at me for the unnecessary reaming she got the night before. I want to pull the bridesmaid aside and clarify the phone call however M beats me to it, dragging her into her bedroom. They're in there for over an hour, no doubt M backstabbing me. M had been vacuuming when the bridesmaid arrived even though I had vacuumed the previous day and I saw her whisper to the bridesmaid about me. Mostly likely saying, "Look at her sitting there doing nothing while I vacuum." When they come out they're both not talking to me. And we're off to get practice makeup done. It was really awkward and awful with all the animosity and snubbing going on.
My birthday fell at the time I was at M's house. I planned on organising something with my bestie and other friends (I haven't seen in years) however M tells me she has something planned for me so not to plan anything, make sure I'm home. I plan nothing for my birthday only to find what M had planned was a mudcake for my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that she did something, while at the same time I think, for a mudcake, I couldn't have been doing something much more amazing and fun with my friends. I'd gotten hors d'oeuvres out, all diet food since M was starving herself to be a size 6 for her wedding, and made black Russians for us all to celebrate my birthday. M has just a sip of the drink and a slither of cake, hoping that I'll eat the rest. I am aware by this stage she has been trying to fatten me up since my arrival. She continually came home with fattening foods such as shortbread cookies, chocolate and now mudcake all for me to polish off. I'd been having none of it, throwing it out when she wasn't home. Then after her sip of drink and sniff of cake she gets on her walking machine to exercise, while her fiance sits down to watch TV. And that's it, that's my birthday! Happy birthday to me! Again I find myself fuming because I could have gone out and spent the night with genuine friends having a genuinely good time. Instead I'm left alone at the dinning table sipping my black Russian and refusing to eat the cake. No one touched the hors d'ouvres I'd made. Cracking it, I leave the house and go for a really long walk around a dark school oval all the while rambling to myself how fucked this whole situation is. I had to vent. I had to let it out. When I return an hour later she's still on the machine and I go to bed.
My lover phoned me in the middle of the night (time zone difference) to wish me happy birthday and I vent to him while they're in bed.
Some days afterward he arrives to stay with us and as I leave to pick him up from the airport (by now my car had arrived from interstate and I now had my own transport) M tells me not to bag her to him. I just glare at her. Ha! What a hypocrite. My poor lover. I didn't just bag M, I went off on an insane ramble of how mental she was making me and how I couldn't wait for this fucking nightmare to be over. Over the weeks everyone who knew M had stopped being friendly to me and I knew why, she was bagging me to them, telling them her cock and bull story about how she's all give and I'm all take. My poor lover was hoping to be reunited in fits of passion only to find me too stressed and strung out and depressed to be even remotely any kind of good lover. He was angry about this and wished I would calm down. She seemed fine to him and he was sure I was exaggerating.
The week he was there before the wedding was somewhat bliss. He took my mind off her and she doted on him, leaving me the hell alone. He could do no wrong. He took us all out for dinner and for days she insisted to me that she should pay him back, only to be crest fallen when I told her he's rich and doesn't need to be paid back. M has always wanted a rich boyfriend. Later on she told me I was lucky to have someone as good as him, implying I was so shitty it's a miracle I've found someone as good as him. Then realising what she said, lied and added that he's also lucky to have me too. I gave her a rye smile. By now I knew her lying game. How fake she was. I saw right through her bullshit.
My lover and I went shopping to get the bride and groom presents for their wedding, sparing no expense. If she claimed I was all take and no give I wanted to show her I could be just as giving. We presented the gifts to them two days before the wedding. The following day she came home with gifts for me to thank me for the gifts I'd given her and I realised then it didn't matter how giving I was, she was going to outdo me so she could insist I wasn't as giving as her (not giving in general).
One night she and I were sitting at the dining room table alone and she told me I was her only friend and she hoped we'd still be friends after this. I cannot recall my response however I know I was thinking "Not likely". The wedding was soon upon us. This would soon be over.
They day of the wedding all the men had slept over at the grooms house while the girls were at the brides. The bride went to all the appointments before us, hair, makeup. Each time we rocked up to a place the bride had been before us I was greeted with contempt and disdain. By now I knew how it worked because she had suckered me in, in the beginning. When she had complained and bagged everyone for being so lazy and not helping with the wedding I'd taken her at her word and didn't understand why they weren't helping out. It hadn't taken me too long to see she wasn't telling the truth. But these people she was speaking to didn't know me, they only knew what she said about me and what she said wasn't nice. So they treated me like the awful greedy selfish person she'd made me out to be. At the wedding and reception I kept walking in on her whispering to others about me. Convincing anyone who'd listen that I was a bad person.
She left me and my lover at the wedding at the end of the night, not sparing us second thought. Didn't say goodbye or let us know she was heading off. She just left. We had been packing up all the gifts into my car and she'd just left us there. Two interstate people who had no idea where we were or how to get back to her house. We had to stop and ask a taxi driver for directions. At her house we found her getting her hair-do removed by the bridesmaid, the person she bagged the absolute most (except perhaps 2nd to me). She was cold and distant and barely talking to us and I was so eager to get out of there. We'd already made arrangements to be else where on her wedding night because she'd already said she hopes we're not staying.
It was finally over. The wedding night had come and gone. It had been an absolute nightmare. I'd lost two dress sized from the stress of it and pretty much hated her guts by the end of it...
I was wrong though. It wasn't over.
to be continued...
bridezilla - story part two
I wish I could say things got better from then on but they didn't. M gets home to find me sitting at the dinning table sullen and depressed after reading her shitty letter. Starts rambling on about how she's offended me with her letter, how sorry she is and how she didn't mean how I'm interpreting her letter. Retracting her words and telling me what I wanted to hear. That she's grateful for all my help and so happy to have me there. I don't believe her but there's little I can do.
One night she is bagging the bridesmaid because she hasn't help a single bit with the wedding, rambling on about how the wedding trinkets, over 1000 of them, need to be made and as usual no one is offering a helping hand. I suggest we phone the bridesmaid and others and let them know we'd like some help. After all they can't offer help if they don't know what needs doing. M is furious at my suggestion saying she shouldn't have to ask, they should simply offer. When I insist on phoning people she tells me "Don't you dare". The following evening she returned from work to find all the wedding trinkets done (I did them all myself). Instead of being pleased she is fuming (just the way it was when I gotten the fresh coffee or brought groceries) because I did the trinkets myself (which let everybody else off the hook, according to her). Even though she was never going to ask them for help anyway. She had planned on her and I doing them by ourselves and complaining about how no one was helping, that way she got to play the victim. Me doing them meant she couldn't play victim. She stayed pissed off.
Her, me and the bridesmaid go shopping for her bridal shower. I purchase everything because it's my duty to organise the event. M is insisting she pay. I stand my ground and pay knowing that secretly she is pleased I've done so. Afterwards she insists on paying for the bridesmaid's and my shoes for the wedding. We don't let her. The shower comes and goes and we all have a fabulous time.
I cooked dinner and her mum and husband come over and tell me how delicious the meal is. M is pissed off that they're complimenting my cooking. Another night I cook and she tells me her fiance doesn't eat the type of food I've cooked (fish). Another time I tell her I'm going to cook and at around 4:30pm I take a lie down because I have a serious headache and need a rest. I wake an hour later to find her banging and clanging in the kitchen pissed off because I said I would cook but I haven't started yet. All talk no action she says. I tell her, her fiance doesn't get home for another hour and I was going to wait until closer to him returning because it doesn't take long and knew I'd have time for a quick lie down. I try to push her out of the kitchen but she insists on cooking any way even though I've already got the food out for my dish and have to cook it regardless. She cooks anyway, and so do I. She remains pissed off about having to cook. Playing the martyr, the victim. Maintaining that I said I would cook but when it came time to cooking I was no where to be found, as she complains to him when he gets home. Neither of them touch the dish I made.
The fiances friends are over for a visit and the groomsman tells us he can't afford to pay for the church so I pay for it instead. The fiance's friends came over to visit often. Each time M would be in my ear whispering "See how bad they are, see!" In particular the bridesmaid got bagged a lot and M was forever getting pissed off with me because I refused to see the bridesmaid as the ugly monster she painted her out to be. "Why are you always taking her side? I know her better than you."
I kid you not, as one couple left they say to M, "We're going, now you can bag us". I stifle a laugh. Sure enough after they're gone that is exactly what M does to all the other friends. By now everyone is well aware they're next when they leave. Foolishly I'd been stupid enough to think that since I was doing so much for M I'd be left out of the bagging. What a fool I was.
Her mum comes over, she popped in often, and M is bagging the bridesmaid because she refuses to get her nails done for the wedding. The mum hands M $300 and tells her it's for all of us to get our nails and hair done. The following evening I tell M that I'll take her mum up on her offer to pay for my nails to get done, even though I said I'd pay for my own nails I spent my nail money on paying for the church. M tells me she's already spend the $300. In one day? I ask her what she's spent it on and she doesn't have an answer. I know she's lying and said I'll take the mum up on the offer anyway. When we get our nails done it's at M's mum's expense. The bridesmaid insists on not getting hers done no matter what and M spends the rest of her time bagging (to me) her for it. I'm there thinking I won't get bagged because I've been a dutiful friend and gotten my nail done.
The bridesmaid and I go out together to purchase bits and pieces for the hens night. That morning we'd all gone to the hair dresses to get practice hair-does done. The bridesmaid and I are shopping with the hair-does and having a great time. We really got along so well. I ask the bridesmaid if she is staying over the night before the wedding so we can all get ready together in the morning. She says she's still undecided. Back at M's it takes me over 45 minutes to take the blasted hair-do out. I had to soak my feet in cold water in the bath because my feet were killing me from walking around all day shopping for stuff for the hens night. Plus I'd gone grocery shopping the previous day and walked the 30 minutes there and back home with four heavy shopping bags on a hot day. I had serious blisters on my feet. When M gets home I'm sitting at the table with wild curly hair and sore feet and she cracks it when she sees my hair looking all wild and wooly. I can only guess that she was jealous because it looked good?? She also finds a plate and knife in the sink left over from my lunch and angrily washes it asking what I'd done all day. I tell her I was out all day shopping around for hens night things.
She asked me if the bridesmaid is staying over the night before the wedding and I repeat that she's still undecided. Her fiance gets home and she demands he ring the bridesmaid and tell her she has to sleep over the night before the wedding and hot the bridesmaid told me she isn't staying over (not true). I tell him that's not what she said at all. Don't demand, just ask her if she will. He doesn't. He gets on the phone and angrily tells the bridesmaid I told them she's not staying over. I knew full well she'd be pissed off thinking I'd told them something that she hadn't said.
That night the fiance comes up and asks me what's going on between M and me. I'm confused. He tells me she's been in her bedroom crying for hours because she's giving 110% while I'm just taking, I'm taking her hospitality for granted, not contributing to the bills or to the wedding while costing her a fortune, making her pay for everything, not keeping my room clean or helping out around the house, he mentions my knife and plate in the sink, leaving all the work to her, how I said I'd pay for my own nails yet when it came time to pay the money was nowhere to be seen etc etc etc on and on and on. I sit and listen to the long list of wrongs I'd done while fuming inside wanting to barge into the bedroom and give M what for. "Are you joking!" I say when he's done, then list all of the things I've been doing, including laundry, washing the bathroom and toilet and all the rest of it. I tell him I resent that she is implying I'm all take and no give because I have been doing SO much for her. In the end he shrugs his shoulders, tells me to pick up my act then goes to bed.
One night she is bagging the bridesmaid because she hasn't help a single bit with the wedding, rambling on about how the wedding trinkets, over 1000 of them, need to be made and as usual no one is offering a helping hand. I suggest we phone the bridesmaid and others and let them know we'd like some help. After all they can't offer help if they don't know what needs doing. M is furious at my suggestion saying she shouldn't have to ask, they should simply offer. When I insist on phoning people she tells me "Don't you dare". The following evening she returned from work to find all the wedding trinkets done (I did them all myself). Instead of being pleased she is fuming (just the way it was when I gotten the fresh coffee or brought groceries) because I did the trinkets myself (which let everybody else off the hook, according to her). Even though she was never going to ask them for help anyway. She had planned on her and I doing them by ourselves and complaining about how no one was helping, that way she got to play the victim. Me doing them meant she couldn't play victim. She stayed pissed off.
Her, me and the bridesmaid go shopping for her bridal shower. I purchase everything because it's my duty to organise the event. M is insisting she pay. I stand my ground and pay knowing that secretly she is pleased I've done so. Afterwards she insists on paying for the bridesmaid's and my shoes for the wedding. We don't let her. The shower comes and goes and we all have a fabulous time.
I cooked dinner and her mum and husband come over and tell me how delicious the meal is. M is pissed off that they're complimenting my cooking. Another night I cook and she tells me her fiance doesn't eat the type of food I've cooked (fish). Another time I tell her I'm going to cook and at around 4:30pm I take a lie down because I have a serious headache and need a rest. I wake an hour later to find her banging and clanging in the kitchen pissed off because I said I would cook but I haven't started yet. All talk no action she says. I tell her, her fiance doesn't get home for another hour and I was going to wait until closer to him returning because it doesn't take long and knew I'd have time for a quick lie down. I try to push her out of the kitchen but she insists on cooking any way even though I've already got the food out for my dish and have to cook it regardless. She cooks anyway, and so do I. She remains pissed off about having to cook. Playing the martyr, the victim. Maintaining that I said I would cook but when it came time to cooking I was no where to be found, as she complains to him when he gets home. Neither of them touch the dish I made.
The fiances friends are over for a visit and the groomsman tells us he can't afford to pay for the church so I pay for it instead. The fiance's friends came over to visit often. Each time M would be in my ear whispering "See how bad they are, see!" In particular the bridesmaid got bagged a lot and M was forever getting pissed off with me because I refused to see the bridesmaid as the ugly monster she painted her out to be. "Why are you always taking her side? I know her better than you."
I kid you not, as one couple left they say to M, "We're going, now you can bag us". I stifle a laugh. Sure enough after they're gone that is exactly what M does to all the other friends. By now everyone is well aware they're next when they leave. Foolishly I'd been stupid enough to think that since I was doing so much for M I'd be left out of the bagging. What a fool I was.
Her mum comes over, she popped in often, and M is bagging the bridesmaid because she refuses to get her nails done for the wedding. The mum hands M $300 and tells her it's for all of us to get our nails and hair done. The following evening I tell M that I'll take her mum up on her offer to pay for my nails to get done, even though I said I'd pay for my own nails I spent my nail money on paying for the church. M tells me she's already spend the $300. In one day? I ask her what she's spent it on and she doesn't have an answer. I know she's lying and said I'll take the mum up on the offer anyway. When we get our nails done it's at M's mum's expense. The bridesmaid insists on not getting hers done no matter what and M spends the rest of her time bagging (to me) her for it. I'm there thinking I won't get bagged because I've been a dutiful friend and gotten my nail done.
The bridesmaid and I go out together to purchase bits and pieces for the hens night. That morning we'd all gone to the hair dresses to get practice hair-does done. The bridesmaid and I are shopping with the hair-does and having a great time. We really got along so well. I ask the bridesmaid if she is staying over the night before the wedding so we can all get ready together in the morning. She says she's still undecided. Back at M's it takes me over 45 minutes to take the blasted hair-do out. I had to soak my feet in cold water in the bath because my feet were killing me from walking around all day shopping for stuff for the hens night. Plus I'd gone grocery shopping the previous day and walked the 30 minutes there and back home with four heavy shopping bags on a hot day. I had serious blisters on my feet. When M gets home I'm sitting at the table with wild curly hair and sore feet and she cracks it when she sees my hair looking all wild and wooly. I can only guess that she was jealous because it looked good?? She also finds a plate and knife in the sink left over from my lunch and angrily washes it asking what I'd done all day. I tell her I was out all day shopping around for hens night things.
She asked me if the bridesmaid is staying over the night before the wedding and I repeat that she's still undecided. Her fiance gets home and she demands he ring the bridesmaid and tell her she has to sleep over the night before the wedding and hot the bridesmaid told me she isn't staying over (not true). I tell him that's not what she said at all. Don't demand, just ask her if she will. He doesn't. He gets on the phone and angrily tells the bridesmaid I told them she's not staying over. I knew full well she'd be pissed off thinking I'd told them something that she hadn't said.
That night the fiance comes up and asks me what's going on between M and me. I'm confused. He tells me she's been in her bedroom crying for hours because she's giving 110% while I'm just taking, I'm taking her hospitality for granted, not contributing to the bills or to the wedding while costing her a fortune, making her pay for everything, not keeping my room clean or helping out around the house, he mentions my knife and plate in the sink, leaving all the work to her, how I said I'd pay for my own nails yet when it came time to pay the money was nowhere to be seen etc etc etc on and on and on. I sit and listen to the long list of wrongs I'd done while fuming inside wanting to barge into the bedroom and give M what for. "Are you joking!" I say when he's done, then list all of the things I've been doing, including laundry, washing the bathroom and toilet and all the rest of it. I tell him I resent that she is implying I'm all take and no give because I have been doing SO much for her. In the end he shrugs his shoulders, tells me to pick up my act then goes to bed.
to be continued...
bridezilla - story part one
When your friend asks you to be her matron of honour you feel pretty pleased to be asked.
She (let's refer to her as M) lived interstate so I had to stay with her for a month until the wedding was over. I packed up my stuff and flew over. The first night I was there I was so happy to be sharing this occasion with her and meeting her fiance. He was repairing the kitchen cupboard and she was telling him to leave it, she'd get her father to do it. The fiance saying he was more than capable and fixing it anyway. I remember sitting there wondering how long the peace would last.
It only took a week for the cracks to show. My friend hadn't said a positive thing for the first week I was there, she didn't ask about me or others and only ever talked about herself. She complained about ill health, her annoying work, how stressed she was, how no one was helping or doing anything with the wedding and leaving all the work to her. Regular bridal stresses. She also bagged and back stabbed everyone she knew. Her fiance's family, his sisters, her brothers and sister in laws, her fiances friends (she didn't bag her own friends because she didn't have any). I wondered how long she would go on like this, fearing that it was who she was and not just related to the stress of the wedding.
My first morning there her and fiance had left for work. Looking for a morning coffee I found her coffee jar so old it was fury and coffee set like concrete. I went up the street and purchased a fresh jar. I also did the morning dishes and cleaned the baking dish she'd cooked our dinner in the previous night. Cleaned it to the point of looking brand new. Why am I mentioning these trivial matters? Because she wasn't happy with me doing these things. When she returned from work and saw the new coffee and spotlessly clean dish she told me I was to make myself and home and not to do anything. If I needed anything like fresh coffee I should ask her and she'll bring some home for me. My response was to say I don't mind, it was only a couple of dollars.
After one week I took a break from helping with the wedding to go down south and stay with my bestie while I got my teeth cleaned and got a facial for the wedding. I also visited my dad; I hadn't seen him in years. 9/11 happened this week and I was so thankful to be with my bestie at the time so we could comfort each other. I knew M would be no comfort to me. In fact she never even mentioned 9/11. Too absorbed in herself. M called me while I was at my bestie's to ask me if she was the reason I'd gone away, also saying she hoped I hadn't said bad things about her to my dad that would make him not show up to her wedding. I noted to myself it was interesting that she thought I was bagging her to my dad, the way she bagged others. Of course I'd brought her up with my bestie however I'd been nice about her, saying that in spite of her negativity she was a nice person. Later on my bestie told me I always have the ability to see the good in people even when they don't deserve it.
Before leaving to spend the week with my bestie I'd spoken to M about her negative talk. Telling her she had such a blessed life, so much to be thankful for and she should concentrate on that. As her matron of honour it was my job to make sure she made it through the wedding, having a great and fun experience. She just about broke down saying "I won't say anything at all then" meaning if she couldn't be negative around me she may as well not talk since I obviously don't like hearing it. Playing the hard done by victim. I left her a really warm letter before heading off saying how honoured I was to be part of her wedding and how I would do my best to make it a great experience for her and help in anyway possible. When I got back after a week with my bestie I found a long letter on the bed waiting for me saying
... she, M, has done so much for me and all I have done is take her for granted and not appreciated her and her efforts. She's opened her doors to me and it's not easy having me stay there especially since I wasn't helping around the house. She told me to make myself at home but that didn't mean not keeping my room tidy. It's been stressful having me stay however she's willing to deal with it and get through this wedding, the least I could do is be gracious and give instead of take...
From the moment I arrived I had been doing the dishes daily, wiping down the kitchen, dinning table, straightening everything up, so the house would be perfect when she gets home. Every day! And sometimes I made dinner so it would be ready when she and her fiance walked in the door. Regardless of her claiming I was being untidy, especially when it came to the room I was staying in, I knew I was being very neat. For starters I was living out of a suitcase which was stressful enough. All my clothes were kept neatly folded in my suitcase, never left about the room. I made the bed every morning and every morning she came in and remade the bed because I hadn't done a good enough job according to her. She kept taking my teddies off the bed and leaving them on the floor and removed the plastic bag I was using as my private bin. I had no privacy and her statement to make myself at home was total bollocks.
I had been going shopping several times during the week to replace food items I was eating and gave her money for bills, even though she insisted I not pay board or buy food because I was a guest in her house.
When I read the letter I wanted to leave right there and then but I had no where to go. I phoned my brother and asked him for advice, reading the letter to him. If I stayed at my bestie's way down south I would have to travel hours by public transport to help with the wedding and I would hardly be there for M, which was her biggest complaint about everyone else. I didn't know what to do and felt trapped. I had to stay at M's and help out because I was matron of honour. A part of me wanted to quit and tell her to shove it up her arse... and be gone when she came home but that would be letting her down.
So I stayed.
She (let's refer to her as M) lived interstate so I had to stay with her for a month until the wedding was over. I packed up my stuff and flew over. The first night I was there I was so happy to be sharing this occasion with her and meeting her fiance. He was repairing the kitchen cupboard and she was telling him to leave it, she'd get her father to do it. The fiance saying he was more than capable and fixing it anyway. I remember sitting there wondering how long the peace would last.
It only took a week for the cracks to show. My friend hadn't said a positive thing for the first week I was there, she didn't ask about me or others and only ever talked about herself. She complained about ill health, her annoying work, how stressed she was, how no one was helping or doing anything with the wedding and leaving all the work to her. Regular bridal stresses. She also bagged and back stabbed everyone she knew. Her fiance's family, his sisters, her brothers and sister in laws, her fiances friends (she didn't bag her own friends because she didn't have any). I wondered how long she would go on like this, fearing that it was who she was and not just related to the stress of the wedding.
My first morning there her and fiance had left for work. Looking for a morning coffee I found her coffee jar so old it was fury and coffee set like concrete. I went up the street and purchased a fresh jar. I also did the morning dishes and cleaned the baking dish she'd cooked our dinner in the previous night. Cleaned it to the point of looking brand new. Why am I mentioning these trivial matters? Because she wasn't happy with me doing these things. When she returned from work and saw the new coffee and spotlessly clean dish she told me I was to make myself and home and not to do anything. If I needed anything like fresh coffee I should ask her and she'll bring some home for me. My response was to say I don't mind, it was only a couple of dollars.
After one week I took a break from helping with the wedding to go down south and stay with my bestie while I got my teeth cleaned and got a facial for the wedding. I also visited my dad; I hadn't seen him in years. 9/11 happened this week and I was so thankful to be with my bestie at the time so we could comfort each other. I knew M would be no comfort to me. In fact she never even mentioned 9/11. Too absorbed in herself. M called me while I was at my bestie's to ask me if she was the reason I'd gone away, also saying she hoped I hadn't said bad things about her to my dad that would make him not show up to her wedding. I noted to myself it was interesting that she thought I was bagging her to my dad, the way she bagged others. Of course I'd brought her up with my bestie however I'd been nice about her, saying that in spite of her negativity she was a nice person. Later on my bestie told me I always have the ability to see the good in people even when they don't deserve it.
Before leaving to spend the week with my bestie I'd spoken to M about her negative talk. Telling her she had such a blessed life, so much to be thankful for and she should concentrate on that. As her matron of honour it was my job to make sure she made it through the wedding, having a great and fun experience. She just about broke down saying "I won't say anything at all then" meaning if she couldn't be negative around me she may as well not talk since I obviously don't like hearing it. Playing the hard done by victim. I left her a really warm letter before heading off saying how honoured I was to be part of her wedding and how I would do my best to make it a great experience for her and help in anyway possible. When I got back after a week with my bestie I found a long letter on the bed waiting for me saying
... she, M, has done so much for me and all I have done is take her for granted and not appreciated her and her efforts. She's opened her doors to me and it's not easy having me stay there especially since I wasn't helping around the house. She told me to make myself at home but that didn't mean not keeping my room tidy. It's been stressful having me stay however she's willing to deal with it and get through this wedding, the least I could do is be gracious and give instead of take...
From the moment I arrived I had been doing the dishes daily, wiping down the kitchen, dinning table, straightening everything up, so the house would be perfect when she gets home. Every day! And sometimes I made dinner so it would be ready when she and her fiance walked in the door. Regardless of her claiming I was being untidy, especially when it came to the room I was staying in, I knew I was being very neat. For starters I was living out of a suitcase which was stressful enough. All my clothes were kept neatly folded in my suitcase, never left about the room. I made the bed every morning and every morning she came in and remade the bed because I hadn't done a good enough job according to her. She kept taking my teddies off the bed and leaving them on the floor and removed the plastic bag I was using as my private bin. I had no privacy and her statement to make myself at home was total bollocks.
I had been going shopping several times during the week to replace food items I was eating and gave her money for bills, even though she insisted I not pay board or buy food because I was a guest in her house.
When I read the letter I wanted to leave right there and then but I had no where to go. I phoned my brother and asked him for advice, reading the letter to him. If I stayed at my bestie's way down south I would have to travel hours by public transport to help with the wedding and I would hardly be there for M, which was her biggest complaint about everyone else. I didn't know what to do and felt trapped. I had to stay at M's and help out because I was matron of honour. A part of me wanted to quit and tell her to shove it up her arse... and be gone when she came home but that would be letting her down.
So I stayed.
To be continued...
Thursday, November 15, 2012
burger king fat
she hasn't seen her lover for while.
on the day he returns she organizes lunch. burgers. they eat their burgers and afterwards he talks about how guilty he feels. gluttony. the other house mate didn't want his burger so she decides she'll have it for dinner.
her lover asks her, "should you be eating that?" implying calories and fat in take. hearing this from him is interpreted as "you're so fat, don't even think about it." she has seen fat people eating ice cream and chips and thinking "no! don't do it! it's a trap". she knows the difference between her and what fat is. for the moment she stews about it. mulls it over.
shopping later on, walking through the carpark towards the mall, she tells him how she didn't like is comment about what she eats. she has no real desire to alter her weight. he says, "oh" and his meaning is hard to interpret.
as they walk through the mall she tells him to look around. 45% of the population is overweight or obese. "i'm a size 10" she tells him, " i'm not fat." pointing around her she tells him she's is the skinniest one there... except for that young business girl walking past them. heading towards them is an aptly placed obese woman. her point is made.
on the day he returns she organizes lunch. burgers. they eat their burgers and afterwards he talks about how guilty he feels. gluttony. the other house mate didn't want his burger so she decides she'll have it for dinner.
her lover asks her, "should you be eating that?" implying calories and fat in take. hearing this from him is interpreted as "you're so fat, don't even think about it." she has seen fat people eating ice cream and chips and thinking "no! don't do it! it's a trap". she knows the difference between her and what fat is. for the moment she stews about it. mulls it over.
shopping later on, walking through the carpark towards the mall, she tells him how she didn't like is comment about what she eats. she has no real desire to alter her weight. he says, "oh" and his meaning is hard to interpret.
as they walk through the mall she tells him to look around. 45% of the population is overweight or obese. "i'm a size 10" she tells him, " i'm not fat." pointing around her she tells him she's is the skinniest one there... except for that young business girl walking past them. heading towards them is an aptly placed obese woman. her point is made.
yet still lost on him.
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