dreaming demons - true story #3

When I write about the experience it seems like it happened in a blink.  This kept going for years, being screamed at, shaken, sat on, pinned down, clawed at, blankets dragged off me, the feeling of being dragged off my bed.  Sensing the dark shadow standing in the corner of my room watching me, waiting for me to fall asleep.  Some times I would wake, immobile, hearing urgent pounding on the front door.  Knowing who ever it was wasn't safe to let if but they were insistent.  It almost sounded like my abusive ex boyfriend.  When I would finally be able to move and check the front door there was no one there.

I used to have my boyfriend stay over as often as he could so I could sleep.  I would still feel the dark presence in the room watching me and the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up.  I would tell my boyfriend to turn on the light and sleep that way.  He couldn't sense anything in the room yet was patient and tolerant of my panicked ways.  The screaming, shaking and being sat on never happened when my boyfriend was there.
One night while lying next to my boyfriend I had a nightmare.  Not something I have often.  In this dream I was in Southland, shopping for clothes and noticed my ex boyfriend stalking and spying on me from behind clothes racks.  I tried to get away from him, trying to hide, out run and out smart him.  I got to the front of the shopping center and saw a group of bikers and decided to ask them to protect me.  The agree and we all road off together on their Harley's.  I knew my boyfriend would not be able to keep up because he had no transport.  They took me to the beach, Edithvale if recall, and we were swimming in the sea.  I bobbed under the water and the white cold arm of my ex boyfriend reached in to grab me.  He had found me at the beach and managed to get to me through all the bikers.
I woke, sitting bolt up right, I was cold to touch even though it was 30degrees and my heart skipped a beat before making up for lost time.  I woke my boyfriend by waking with such a fright, he turned the light on, asked me what happened.  I couldn't talk.  I just said I had a bad dream and then tossed and turned for a while before finally falling back to sleep.

A couple of weeks later I got a phone call from my ex's dad telling me he was dead, killed by a road train months ago.  It had taken the dad a long time to find me to give me the news. 

After years of what I called 'haunting' I had become an insomniac who couldn't stay awake during the day.  I was losing weight, not eating, only drinking coffee (like someone from Nightmare on Elm Street - ironically I lived on Elm Road at the time).  I saw a doctor, not telling him any of strange things that were happening (guess I still believe I was cracking up), only told him that I couldn't sleep and wasn't coping with life.  He told me I was having a nervous breakdown, probably brought on by my anorexia.  I told the doctor I wasn't anorexic, as in starving myself because I thought I was fat.  I simply couldn't eat because I was too stressed.  He told me  to go home and eat proper meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner for two weeks in a row and see if I felt better.  I felt less depressed when I ate for two weeks but nothing else changed.

One night I was asleep and woke to sensation of my blankets being pulled off me.  I froze, too afraid to move.  Then something grabbed my ankles and began dragging me off the foot of the bed.  They dragged me slowly but didn't stop when I got to the foot of the bed.  I hit the floor with a thud which actually woke me.  When I went to lash out at what ever had dragged me off the bed, my left arm touched my blanket which was still on me.  Turning the light on, I found that I was still in my bed tucked snugly under my covers.  I hadn't moved and been dragged off the bed.  It had been a dream.  This made me wonder, of course, had everything else just been a dream?

A couple of weeks later my flat mate got up one morning looking white as a ghost.  I asked him what happened and he told me he woke but couldn't move and he was being sat on while being hit around the face.  He had been able to open his eyes and see a lady on him.  I had always been on my left side facing the wall unable to open my eyes.  He could tell by my expression I knew what he was talking about and I confessed that this had been happening to me for years.

However, it only happened to him once and soon stopped with me too.  When I moved out what ever it was did not follow me or come with me.  Whether it was nightmares or bad dreams, caused by stressed and an over active imagination, out of body experiences or some dark force trying to take me to the dark side....  I don't know.  All I know is it started in that place and stopped when I left.  Never to happen again.

http://www.castleofspirits.com/sleepparalysis.html

dreaming demons - true story #2

It didn't happen again the following night.

It happened a couple of nights later.  It started off exactly the same.  Me waking and not being able to move.  Lying there willing myself to open my eyes and move my body.  But I couldn't.

The screaming in my ear started again and the shaking.  This time the screaming and the shaking were more forceful and I felt very afraid.  They stopped as suddenly as they started and when I could move I turned on my bedside lamp and again the clock said 3am.  That made my heart skip a beat and I wondered what was going on and what was the significance of the time.

I lay in bed with the light on for a very long time unable to get back to sleep.  Eventually I dosed off but kept waking, afraid of hearing the scream again.

When I woke in the morning I was so tired from my bad sleep.

Things began to get worse and more frequent.  I began to wake in the middle of the night with a feeling of being pinned down.  Something heavy sitting on my body, pinning my arms and legs down.  Other times I woke to the feeling of a cat scratching at my feet.  I would turn off the light and feel a dark presence standing in the corner of the room watching me, waiting for me to doze off.  This ominous presence got stronger and stronger until eventually it was always there and I couldn't sleep.  Even sleeping with the light on didn't stop the screaming in my ears and something shaking me.

I began drinking copious amounts of coffee and trying to keep myself awake until past 3am, since this was the time the screaming kept happening.

Being so tired all the time I began to fall asleep during the day.  The screaming started happening then too.  Then I started being dragged off my bed while I slept.  I would wake to feel the covers moving off me very slowly and my body being dragged towards the end of the bed.  Waking before I actually fell, I would see the time said 3am.

I asked friends what was happening to me.  Some who believe in out body experiences told me the dark spirit was waiting for me to leave my body so it could possess my body.  They told me there was a good spirit watching over me keeping me safe and making sure I got back into my body before the dark spirit did.  The feeling of being dragged off the bed was symbolic of me leaving my earthly body.

Others thought it might be the spirit of my dead ex boyfriend coming back to haunt me and try and take me with him.

I began to lose weight, was unable to sleep at night time and unable to stay awake during the day.  I would have friends come and stay over at night time to keep me safe and while the screaming didn't happen while they were there, the feeling of something dark standing over me prevailed.

dreaming demons - true story

The first time it happened ..

I woke in the middle of the night, awake yet completely unable to move.  I was told this is just sleep paralyzes, when your body prevents you from hurting yourself by making chemicals in the brain, this stops you thrashing about during your dreams and hurting yourself or others.  Some times you can wake but your body is still paralyzed.  It wears off and you're back to normal.

I didn't know that at the time.  I was younger and didn't know what was happening.  Being awake and unable to open my eyes or move scared the hell out of me.

Suddenly there was this deftly noise in my ears, a scream, but outer worldly.  Like nothing I'd ever heard before.  I froze and my blood ran cold.  My heart skipped a beat.  When it began beating again it was pounding a mile a minute and I still couldn't move.

The screaming was accompanied by my body being furiously shaken as though something was trying to wake me.  I still couldn't move.

Then the screaming stopped, the shaking stopped and I could open my eyes.  It was dark all around me but I knew I was facing the wall.  I could feel my nose pressed up against it.

Slowly I was able to move my head, then my limbs until I could finally turn, sit up and switch the bedside lamp on.  My bedside clock said 3am.  The room was empty.  Nothing and no-one there.  Just me and my heart beating a mile a minute.  I was still scared out of my wits wondering what had just happened.  Too afraid to turn the light off and go back to sleep.  I settled for sleeping with the light on.

This strange incident became almost a nightly occurrence and began to change (but more about that some other time).   I just assumed I was going insane.  It started when I moved into the apartment and stopped when I moved out.  The previous tenants never had anything like this happen to them.


To this day I still don't understand what it was I heard or what was happening all those years ago.

drunken romance

"As our romantic dinners progressed invariably the level of alcohol consumption rose steadily, he’d begin to warm up and soften up and open up, where by things would get considerably worse.  The topic would then become drunken sexual flirtations where he would say un-romantic things like, “I can’t wait to get you home rip your clothes off and pound you.”  Like I was a piece of meat and he was a butcher.  Comments made were about him and what he’d like to do to me to get his rocks off.  Never were they about how I made him feel, how sexy I was or what he’d like to do for me and why – certainly it was never about wanting to please me because his love for me was so great that he lived his life to do so.  It was all about servicing him.  I’d cringe and feel panic rising deep in my stomach knowing that when we got home he intended to become octoman, with little foreplay or regard for whether I was turned on or not.  Attempts at twisting his un-romantic and rather crude comments into something more affectionate, flirtatious or about the both of us in his sexual encounter were unsuccessful. 
I’d find myself ordering more wine to fill him so that he’d be so drunk he’d pass out when we got home.  While I would stop drinking altogether.  I needed to sober up and have my whits about me.  The good news: by the time he began his sexual flirtations he was pretty far gone already, otherwise he’d never have brought up anything as personal as sex at a restaurant, lest anyone should over hear our conversation.  So sadly, even our romantic dinners of spending quality time alone together tended to be a flop.  The irony, we got along well enough to want to do them together (though I dare say it the great food we craved more than the great company).  And, the intentions and reasons behind the dinner were still an important factor.  We wanted to love each other.  We just couldn’t do it and didn’t know how." KD

recommendations

"I guess I just wanted to have him realise that telling me how to do things felt like put-downs and I wanted him to stop and never do it again. Sure, he said they were recommendations, then why get so angry over a recommendation? And he always got angry when he made a recommendation and I chose not to do it. His anger suggested to me that he was giving more than a recommendation, he was giving an order, a command, and getting angry when I wasn’t following orders. I was an adult and didn’t have to take orders from him. Why couldn’t he see that and just stop doing it. In any case, why couldn’t he just learn that I never listened to his recommendations (orders) and just give it up?" KD