One night she is bagging the bridesmaid because she hasn't help a single bit with the wedding, rambling on about how the wedding trinkets, over 1000 of them, need to be made and as usual no one is offering a helping hand. I suggest we phone the bridesmaid and others and let them know we'd like some help. After all they can't offer help if they don't know what needs doing. M is furious at my suggestion saying she shouldn't have to ask, they should simply offer. When I insist on phoning people she tells me "Don't you dare". The following evening she returned from work to find all the wedding trinkets done (I did them all myself). Instead of being pleased she is fuming (just the way it was when I gotten the fresh coffee or brought groceries) because I did the trinkets myself (which let everybody else off the hook, according to her). Even though she was never going to ask them for help anyway. She had planned on her and I doing them by ourselves and complaining about how no one was helping, that way she got to play the victim. Me doing them meant she couldn't play victim. She stayed pissed off.
Her, me and the bridesmaid go shopping for her bridal shower. I purchase everything because it's my duty to organise the event. M is insisting she pay. I stand my ground and pay knowing that secretly she is pleased I've done so. Afterwards she insists on paying for the bridesmaid's and my shoes for the wedding. We don't let her. The shower comes and goes and we all have a fabulous time.
I cooked dinner and her mum and husband come over and tell me how delicious the meal is. M is pissed off that they're complimenting my cooking. Another night I cook and she tells me her fiance doesn't eat the type of food I've cooked (fish). Another time I tell her I'm going to cook and at around 4:30pm I take a lie down because I have a serious headache and need a rest. I wake an hour later to find her banging and clanging in the kitchen pissed off because I said I would cook but I haven't started yet. All talk no action she says. I tell her, her fiance doesn't get home for another hour and I was going to wait until closer to him returning because it doesn't take long and knew I'd have time for a quick lie down. I try to push her out of the kitchen but she insists on cooking any way even though I've already got the food out for my dish and have to cook it regardless. She cooks anyway, and so do I. She remains pissed off about having to cook. Playing the martyr, the victim. Maintaining that I said I would cook but when it came time to cooking I was no where to be found, as she complains to him when he gets home. Neither of them touch the dish I made.
The fiances friends are over for a visit and the groomsman tells us he can't afford to pay for the church so I pay for it instead. The fiance's friends came over to visit often. Each time M would be in my ear whispering "See how bad they are, see!" In particular the bridesmaid got bagged a lot and M was forever getting pissed off with me because I refused to see the bridesmaid as the ugly monster she painted her out to be. "Why are you always taking her side? I know her better than you."
I kid you not, as one couple left they say to M, "We're going, now you can bag us". I stifle a laugh. Sure enough after they're gone that is exactly what M does to all the other friends. By now everyone is well aware they're next when they leave. Foolishly I'd been stupid enough to think that since I was doing so much for M I'd be left out of the bagging. What a fool I was.
Her mum comes over, she popped in often, and M is bagging the bridesmaid because she refuses to get her nails done for the wedding. The mum hands M $300 and tells her it's for all of us to get our nails and hair done. The following evening I tell M that I'll take her mum up on her offer to pay for my nails to get done, even though I said I'd pay for my own nails I spent my nail money on paying for the church. M tells me she's already spend the $300. In one day? I ask her what she's spent it on and she doesn't have an answer. I know she's lying and said I'll take the mum up on the offer anyway. When we get our nails done it's at M's mum's expense. The bridesmaid insists on not getting hers done no matter what and M spends the rest of her time bagging (to me) her for it. I'm there thinking I won't get bagged because I've been a dutiful friend and gotten my nail done.
The bridesmaid and I go out together to purchase bits and pieces for the hens night. That morning we'd all gone to the hair dresses to get practice hair-does done. The bridesmaid and I are shopping with the hair-does and having a great time. We really got along so well. I ask the bridesmaid if she is staying over the night before the wedding so we can all get ready together in the morning. She says she's still undecided. Back at M's it takes me over 45 minutes to take the blasted hair-do out. I had to soak my feet in cold water in the bath because my feet were killing me from walking around all day shopping for stuff for the hens night. Plus I'd gone grocery shopping the previous day and walked the 30 minutes there and back home with four heavy shopping bags on a hot day. I had serious blisters on my feet. When M gets home I'm sitting at the table with wild curly hair and sore feet and she cracks it when she sees my hair looking all wild and wooly. I can only guess that she was jealous because it looked good?? She also finds a plate and knife in the sink left over from my lunch and angrily washes it asking what I'd done all day. I tell her I was out all day shopping around for hens night things.
She asked me if the bridesmaid is staying over the night before the wedding and I repeat that she's still undecided. Her fiance gets home and she demands he ring the bridesmaid and tell her she has to sleep over the night before the wedding and hot the bridesmaid told me she isn't staying over (not true). I tell him that's not what she said at all. Don't demand, just ask her if she will. He doesn't. He gets on the phone and angrily tells the bridesmaid I told them she's not staying over. I knew full well she'd be pissed off thinking I'd told them something that she hadn't said.
That night the fiance comes up and asks me what's going on between M and me. I'm confused. He tells me she's been in her bedroom crying for hours because she's giving 110% while I'm just taking, I'm taking her hospitality for granted, not contributing to the bills or to the wedding while costing her a fortune, making her pay for everything, not keeping my room clean or helping out around the house, he mentions my knife and plate in the sink, leaving all the work to her, how I said I'd pay for my own nails yet when it came time to pay the money was nowhere to be seen etc etc etc on and on and on. I sit and listen to the long list of wrongs I'd done while fuming inside wanting to barge into the bedroom and give M what for. "Are you joking!" I say when he's done, then list all of the things I've been doing, including laundry, washing the bathroom and toilet and all the rest of it. I tell him I resent that she is implying I'm all take and no give because I have been doing SO much for her. In the end he shrugs his shoulders, tells me to pick up my act then goes to bed.
to be continued...
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