sex and the tampon

A funny story.

When times get hard and I question why I am with Mr on again off again, so much frustration, I think back to when we met.  We met at a night club where I was dancing and he was an intended one night stand.  Not because that was what I wanted but because it was all guys ever wanted.  Why would he be different and what difference did it make?  I was grieving over lost love and felt like something fun to take my mind off the empty house that waited for me.

We drive back to my joint and straight away I can tell he is different to other guys.  He is asking about my place, looking around, exploring, picking up a silastic gun and asking who's it is.  When I tell him it's mine he gives me an admiring grin.  I pour us vodka to drink and we drink on a mattress in the lounge room. When he does approach me he is sweet and caring.  As we kiss he senses my nervousness and says “Don’t be shy”.  He slowly undress me.  Doesn’t just get right to it.  He takes his time, touching, kissing exploring.  When he removes my knickers he stops and stares in awe.  He tells me I've the best pussy he’s ever seen.  Well, if he says so.  When I reach down to feel his groin I notice it is smooth and soft so I whip the covers back and pop down for a better inspection.  His body is hairless except for a small crop of hair around his penis.  His penis is hard yet smooth and his balls are like silk.  I am instantly as attracted to his groinage as he is to mine.

We spend the night fornicating and have a pleasurable enough time, though he doesn't bring me to climax, both falling asleep in a tipsy stupor.  When we wake in the morning we shower together and he lifts me up, pushes me against the shower wall and we do it again, tree trunk style.  I am impressed with his strength and his muscle tone.

Later on we’re dressed and sitting in my lounge room chatting.  I can’t help but notice he’s not chewing at the bit to escape.  He is happily spending time with me, not trying to do a runner.

Suddenly I burst out, “Oh shit” and go running to the bath room.  I remembered I have a tampon inside me.  My period was due any day and I put the tampon in the night before just in case I my period came while I was dancing.  Even though my period never came I forgot all about the tampon and totally forgot to take it out.  Reaching for it I find it has been pushed too far in from our fornicating and I cannot reach it.

Embarrassed I got out and tell him, “I have to go to the doctors”, thinking, if he wants to escape now is his chance to run.  He's not interested in doing a runner.  He wants to know why I need to go to the doctors and I tell him.  I’m expecting him to burst out laughing and think I am an absolute dork.  Instead he says he’ll come with me to the doctors.  We end up spending the day together.

With a beginning like that it is not hard to see why I deal with all the shit.

memories are funny things

Memories are funny things.  You can't quite recall them yet they exist.

Think of the last mind blowing sex you had?  You can maybe recall where, when, with whom.  What you were wearing or not wearing, what the temperature was like.  You know it was good.  Yet you can't really recall how it felt when you climaxed.  How awesome it was.

What about the time you broke your arm or cut the tips of your fingers off while using a carving knife.  Or labour.  You know it hurt.  You remember it hurt.  And yet you cannot recall the pain vividly.  It is now a fleeting memory that you know happened, yet cannot feel.

When I look back through photo albums I see pictures that trigger a memory.  I remember that party.  I remember how drunk I got and threw up everywhere.  I remember that really gorgeous guy I knew.  He looks good in the photo I took of him.  Yet to close my eyes and recall his voice or his smile or a conversation we had.  They memories don't come.  I know I was sad when he left.  Devastated.  Gut wrenching crushed.  I can recall how I cried and screamed for him to return, to come back to me.

Now I think of it, I know I was sad.  I still miss him.  Or the person he was back then.  Yet I cannot recall the intimate moments with him.  The last time we made love - except that I cried because I knew it was our last time together.

Parents who take photos of babies because they want to remember how tiny their newborn baby is, or how cute their 2year old, or their child's first day at school.  Looking back at the photos seeing the pictures takes you back in time for a minute although you cannot recall how tiny your newborn baby was or how they sounded when they cried in the middle of the night.  Or all the cute, funny, new things your 2year old said and did.

Memories of pain fade away so we don't spend the rest of life feeling that pain.  Labour is forgotten so a mother will want to do it again.  Sex is forgotten so we'll want to enjoy sex again and again.

Then when we pass all our memories go with us.  People will look back on a photo of great granddad standing tall and proud, with no idea what was going on at the time the photo was taken.  Was he a happy and content man or did he have unfulfilled dreams.

Memories are funny things...

backward way of advertising

Sex sells.  We’ve all heard that before.  As a female I hear it a lot from people justifying yet another sexualised advert, show or video clip.

“Men are more visual”

“Men are more aroused by what they see”(as though this is a good thing!)

“When men like what they see they buy something”

“Women are not as visual which is why ads are not aimed at them”

There are flaws with this theory.

#1: prove to me that men are more visual.  From where I stand I am just as visual as any man I know.  You show me an ad with a hunky man compared to an ad with a regular man and I know which ad I prefer, I also know which product would appeal to me more.   When I see a half naked man I pause to look.  When I see a hot man I turn my head to watch him pass.  I may not get sexually aroused by what I see, like I’m told men do (who says this is a good thing anyway?), though I still like what I see, I'm still visual and still want to see more.

To prove the point the recent Old Spice ad with the hunky bloke asking ladies to “look at your man, now look back at me” was a mega hit!  So is it really that women are not as visual as men… or just male CEO”s trying to convince us that women aren’t as visual.  In truth I think men fear being sex objects as much as women don’t like being sexualized.  They fear women ogling men as much as they enjoy the liberty of ogling women.

#2: is it a good thing to be arousing all the boys and men in our society?  It is no wonder that sex addiction in western societies is on the increase!  As soon as your old enough to see you learn sex is the MUST HAVE thing of the decade.  Boys must have it.  Girls must be it.

[Incidentally sex addiction only occurs in counties with overt and blatant sexualization of its people – experts equates this to sex addiction not being a real condition and that it is really about sexualization being easily accessible.  The term sex addiction is just an excuse for lack of control. I wonder why men want to give their control away so easily?]

#3: I’ve been told sex sells ads geared towards women have been tried yet fail dismally.  Ok.  I’ve lived a number of years on this planet and in my life time I’ve seen only a handful of sex sells ads geared towards women.  One of which (about oranges and male butts with the slogan “Just squeeze”) was banned because men didn’t like its sexual connotations.  Where as an ad with the slogan “Go for the lemon” about a barmaid in a mini reaching for a lemon is perfectly acceptable by men for its sexual connotations (slightly hypocritical and one sided I think).

I once dated a guy who would fly into a rage any time there was a hunky man on TV, accusing me of wanting to screw the guy – and this wasn’t even sexualized men on TV - while he openly ogled females on TV.  Perhaps if the tables were turned and ads were aimed at women this is what we’d have to contend with.  Guys constantly feeling insecure about themselves because the imagines of hunky men make them feel less of a man.  Men don’t seem to realize this is how women feel.  Or they don’t care or thinks it’s normal.

We think sexualised ads aimed at boys and men are ok, normal, alright, necessary.  And I say boys because our sons are privy to these images.  You can't leave your house without seeing some sexy half naked chick somewhere, on a billboard, a bus, a bumper sticker, magazines stands.

"I see half naked girls... they're every where"

#4 if men already have high libidos while women have low libidos and men wish women had higher libidos, would it not make more sense to reverse the roles and create ads targeted AT women instead of men?  Why keep arousing men with titillating ads when their libidos are already high?  Why refuse to arouse women with ads geared towards them when men wish women had higher libidos?

I know it's also a spending thing and men have more money than women.  There is more money to be made from men which is another reason for sex sells being geared towards them and not us.

I guess sexualization is about power.  You can’t have power as a man while you’re a sex object and it goes to say that women cannot have power while we are being sexualized.  It is safe when you think about it, to keep women sexualized while refusing to sexualize men.  If men were as sexualized as women we’d be equal and thus the power would shift.  Just an idea.

At the same time sexulization takes away a man's power to choose weather to be aroused or not.  The simple fact that sex addiction is common in westernized civilizations shows men out of control.  Perhaps sexulization is not 'more power to men' after all.

more popular than you think

when i was in school i had no idea anyone fancied me.  i was so involved with my friends and my interests i didn't pay attention to anyone who might have liked me.  at the same time i assumed no boy at my school like me enough to want to be my boyfriend or ask me out.  this was ok.  i liked boys, plenty of them, yet not enough to want to go out with them.  i went on dates here and there and had lots of passing crushes, had male friends and flirted with boys i liked. i was in the arty crowd.  i sang and danced and painted murals on the school walls.

after i left school is when i found out i had admirers.  people started to tell me things i hadn't realised.  this boy or that boy had a crush on me back then.  one time i was on a train years after i'd left school and this boy comes up to me saying my name asking me if went to such n such school.  yes.  he tells me he was in such n such class.  do i remember him?  turns out he knew me from grade primary school!  he remembered me all those years later.  i did remember him.  i had liked him back then.  turns out he had liked me too.  we phoned each other a couple of times after that and met up once.  nothing came of it.

you're probably going through school thinking no-one likes you or gives a shit.  chances are some one does.

train story .. sick girl

A young girl was sick on the train.  16 or 17 years old maybe.  She was with her boyfriend and he was very supportive.  "It's o.k., don't worry, these things happen..."  He grabbed a newspaper to help clean and cover the mess.  All the while speaking kindly and positive  to her.  He told her to wait until we all got off the train at Flinders St., give herself time to recover before getting up.

Wonder what made her ill?  The boy was so loving, caring and supportive.

marriage is unfair

I'm not like most women I know.  Not that I've asked that many if they share this particular point of view.  Maybe many women feel this way and I just don't know it.
I think marriage is unfair for women when it comes to nudity.  When a women gets married her husband is pretty much the last man she'll ever see naked for the rest of her life (or marriage - which ever comes first).  Unless she has affairs maybe.
For men it doesn't matter that they're married.  They will still get to see many many more nude women for the remainder of their lives.  Even if a man doesn't subscribe to Playboy, watch porn or visit strip joints, he will still see loads of nude women.  On TV there is stacks of one sided nudity and plenty of female actresses willing to get their gear off for a price.
Married couples only need to sit and watch TV or movies together for this to be realised.  While Mrs Wife won't see another penis for the remainder of her marriage husband will have an eye full of as many naked women as TV will allow.  Devils Advocate is a prime example.
You only need consider the video Girls on Film (the uncut version) to see what I'm talking about.
Now where is my female equivalent to that video?  Where is my female equivalent to Devils Advocate?  Where are my naked men to titillate and tantalize my senses?
No.  I'm female.  So I'll be subject to has many naked females and I can (or can't) stand while Mr Husband gets to enjoy these simple pleasures.  And I'll be void of all erotic images til death or divorce do us part.
And if I hear one more bullshit excuse about how men are more visual than women I'm going to gouge somebody's eyes out with a toothpick.  It's men making up shit like that so they can keep me and other women from enjoying the same simple pleasures men get to enjoy.

guys and semen

guys. they're always wanting chicks to go down on them.  giving head is like some be all and end all thing for them.  the acest thing you could do for a guy. the thing he likes the most.
i've had guys tell me that swallowing is like true acceptance of who they are and loving them and all that.  like if you don't swallow you don't love them so much.  and others who want a girl to swallow coz he doesn't want to pull out at the last minute (fair call, maybe doesn't feel as good having to withdraw - don't know, not a guy, will have to take your word for it).
ever gone to kiss a guy afterward?  they don't want to kiss you like they think their semen is gross.  funny how they want you to take it but they think it's gross.  i once asked a guy if he would swallow his own semen and he was like "no way!"  and yet he thinks a girl should want to just coz she's a girl.
looks like runny egg or snot or clag to me.  do i want to swallow either of them.  nope.  does a guy.  nope.  so i'm wondering why a guy wants a girl to swallow his semen when he wouldn't swallow his own. ?