memories are funny things

Memories are funny things.  You can't quite recall them yet they exist.

Think of the last mind blowing sex you had?  You can maybe recall where, when, with whom.  What you were wearing or not wearing, what the temperature was like.  You know it was good.  Yet you can't really recall how it felt when you climaxed.  How awesome it was.

What about the time you broke your arm or cut the tips of your fingers off while using a carving knife.  Or labour.  You know it hurt.  You remember it hurt.  And yet you cannot recall the pain vividly.  It is now a fleeting memory that you know happened, yet cannot feel.

When I look back through photo albums I see pictures that trigger a memory.  I remember that party.  I remember how drunk I got and threw up everywhere.  I remember that really gorgeous guy I knew.  He looks good in the photo I took of him.  Yet to close my eyes and recall his voice or his smile or a conversation we had.  They memories don't come.  I know I was sad when he left.  Devastated.  Gut wrenching crushed.  I can recall how I cried and screamed for him to return, to come back to me.

Now I think of it, I know I was sad.  I still miss him.  Or the person he was back then.  Yet I cannot recall the intimate moments with him.  The last time we made love - except that I cried because I knew it was our last time together.

Parents who take photos of babies because they want to remember how tiny their newborn baby is, or how cute their 2year old, or their child's first day at school.  Looking back at the photos seeing the pictures takes you back in time for a minute although you cannot recall how tiny your newborn baby was or how they sounded when they cried in the middle of the night.  Or all the cute, funny, new things your 2year old said and did.

Memories of pain fade away so we don't spend the rest of life feeling that pain.  Labour is forgotten so a mother will want to do it again.  Sex is forgotten so we'll want to enjoy sex again and again.

Then when we pass all our memories go with us.  People will look back on a photo of great granddad standing tall and proud, with no idea what was going on at the time the photo was taken.  Was he a happy and content man or did he have unfulfilled dreams.

Memories are funny things...