my book on getting lucky - part 1

if date night doesn't end with good sex it didn't go well. something went amiss.
it starts at the start. when she's getting dressed and he compliments her, lets her know he likes what he sees and will be thinking of her in that outfit all night. maybe it's her lips and he'll be thinking of kissing her all night. maybe her bottom looks good and he'll be thinking of putting a hand on it.

at the place - party, club, dinner - he gives her a look or 10. reiterates that he's thinking of kissing her. watches her lips or eyes or hands or curves as she talks, eats, dances.

over the night he sneaks in a kiss, a light caress of her bottom, neck, chests, arms, a wink. he could sneak a moment and caress and kiss while he thinks no-one is looking or can see. show a little bit of lust throughout the night. doesn't take much time or thought, just show her what he's thinking. (and if he's not thinking about making love to her and she knows it because of his lack of affections, bad luck if he misses out).
make her feel sexy, special, desirable, while also enjoying her company because he likes her mind or friendship or carefree attitude (whatever appeals). it's pretty much a given she'll flirt back. who wouldn't.

in the room he is showing her what he's been thinking all night. touching caressing, kissing. it's about her and how she makes him feel. again she'll follow in suit. he drags it out, keeping the lust and teasing of the night going for as long as she/they can take it. she'll let him know when she's ready unless she does the 'let's get it over with because there was failure to turn her on' move. he'll get lucky yet the date night didn't end with good sex and she'll remember and note it. it lowers his chances on getting lucky in the future.

if dates nights go well both could get lucky every time. unless prior to date night something happened (toothache, dad died, had a fight and failed to make up or use the night to make up).

getting lucky depends ..

turn me on

men and sex.
i'm starting to wonder if there are any men who are good at it. who don't see sex as simply sticking the penis in the vagina, thrusting about, climaxing, then rolling over. get a blow up doll you fuck!
are there men out there who know there is more to sex than that?
are there men out there who know the joy of teasing, pleasing and enjoying the woman? who know that giving is just as good as receiving? men who know her pleasure is just as important as his?
if so .. are they the majority or the minority?
how many men know, do and live this? few or many?
in this day and age of enlightenment and supposed human superiority how many men actually know how to make love to a woman, to devour her, lap her up, please her, get her ready, wet and wanting, turn her on?
how many men want to do this? or do most want to use her as a prop for their own private porn show? sticking it to her this way and that. grabbing tits, arse and vagina thinking that's all it takes to turn her on. or making out for a minute or two thinking that's enough to turn her on.
i really want to know .. how many men are actually good in bed? good lovers? great lovers who know what they're doing and want her to enjoy the activity as much as they do?

missed you

I missed you for a moment today

When some body laughed like you 

mr right

my fear is i'll never meet him. mr right. someone who makes me smile.
some people say you only get one chance. what if that's true? i've had a true love before, true unconditional love. we pestered each other, aggravated each other, shitted each other and fought. we still loved the other no matter what. why? how? what made us love each other no matter what?
what if we only get once chance? what if i'll never have that again?

why didn't i have that with him? (the next one) no matter what we did we never had that unconditional love. why? him? me? why couldn't we over come it? what boulders were in the way? what mountains? either way i / we couldn't scale them? (i love you and set you free .. )

i can see he was mean. and i let him be. why? what was i telling myself? that we only get once chance .. and my chance was gone. just gotta suck that shit up?

what if we only get one chance? what if he never comes. that's my fear. he must be getting tired of me calling, shouting, crying out his name. i'm getting heartbroken of the fact that he never comes. where art thou. come and save me. save me from myself. i need to know you're there and that i don't only get one chance.

falling for a stranger

i don't know you
you're an enigma
a part of my imagination
only i've met you
you are real

just a mystery
a conundrum
why the attraction?
why do i like you?
this person i don't know

this person i'll never see again
don't understand it
you're not classically handsome
you didn't flirt with me
nor i you

and yet there it was
that instant attraction
instantly liking who you are
what you're like
you're sense of humor

and this big deep feeling
of depression
that washed over me
when i had to say good bye
no more spending time with you

now there is an empty void
and i don't understand it
why do i care?
it makes no sense
coz we weren't anything

i'm like some crazy mad woman
liking some stranger
someone i don't know
feeling things that can't be explained
wishing i had more time with you

accidental facebook event ruined a friendship

couple of years ago i got a invite to an event on fb. it was from a childhood best-friend whom i'd recently rekindled the friendship with (before fb). we'd been hanging out again, having dinner parties together, all that stuff. was a little stocked to get the invite. pleased she was thinking of me. on the day i get dressed up & off i go to this party. her family & friends are there, most of whom i know from the years she & i spent together. they're happy enough to see me & all is well. until my friend arrives. first thing she says is 'what are you doing here?' i tell her i got her fb invite. she tells me she never sent me an invite & she's giving me that look like i'm a stalker. i know she sent me an invite though i'm standing there thinking it must have been accidental. i tell her i clicked 'attending' on the event page so she'd have seen i was coming. she tells me she can't hang around me coz she's got to mingle & i  tell her that's fine. i have a good time mingling myself. hadn't been out in ages & was happy to be socializing. check the invite later on but it's been removed coz the event has passed so can't prove to her that i'm not lying. send her a fb message, sorry for the mix up, don't know what happened, definitely got an invite, must have been accidentally invited. she doesn't reply. over the next weeks mutual friends who attended the party start deleting me from their friend list. she stays my friend, except she has a hens night & gets married & doesn't invite me or even tell me she's met a man or getting married. contact her to say congrats. she talks like all is well. never hear from her again. never contact her again. still friends on fb for some time until i notice she doesn't like any comment i make on her page while liking everyone else's. time to nip that friendship in the bud. and all because of an accidental fb invite.

tis the season to be jolly

i'm not jolly. i bloody miserable and this idea that i have to be around people, smiling and faking and pretending i give a shit about life. makes me want to run and hide.

"hi how are you?"
"fine thanks, you?" and i've got to pretend to be happy and appreciative of life and happy to see them, happy to be there interacting with people.

when what i really want to say is i'm shit actually, life is one fuckn' big joke, i hate it, and i hate having to pretend i'm having a good time. and i don't give a shit how happy you are and that you can't relate to me coz i can't relate to you and i'm sick of pretending.

i'd love to be able to go up to people and when they ask me how i am i can turn around and say i'm shit actaully and i don't want to be here making small talk with you when i feel this shit.

ah.... fuck it....