Wednesday, March 20, 2024

gender bender gender dysmorphia

i know not many, if anybody, reads this opinion piece and it's practically obscure .. still i want to weigh in on this important current affair.

i'm not an expert, my opinion isn't final, it's fluid with a view to understanding i'm not in this boat and can't know for sure.

dysmorphia meaning - deformity or abnormality in the shape or size of a specified part of the body.

generally when we speak of body dysmorphia we mean a false idea of what is wrong with a person, in that a person with body dysmorphia may perceive they have something wrong with them, i.e. obsessing that their thighs are too big when their thighs are actually fine.

anorexia comes to mind. though in truth an anorexic person usually knows they're not 'fat', instead they believe there is too much fat or body mass that still needs to be removed before things can be perfect and body/life can be controlled.

what if .. and hear me out .. gender dysmorphia is .. an illness much like anorexia? whereby the person feels they can control their body/life by living as whatever they perceive themselves to be while in actuality it fixes nothing?

what if .. gender fluidity is for certain and there are no male/female 'traits' only different ways of being? yet gender dysmorphia is just that .. dysmorphic?

what if .. no one is born in the wrong body, no one is born the wrong sex, people don't really identify as the opposite or no gender .. but in fact are simply their own unique being - i.e. a female who feels more masculine and is perceived (mistaken) as masculine while still remaining female (by way of no formal sex change operation) who decides they identify as they/them, because society has thrust upon them they're not a normal female, because of societal views placed upon how they should be/act?

what if having gender changing surgery is as malpractice as starving yourself into perfection/control? what if it's truly harming the people who have these operations thinking it will be their savoir yet the reality is they were fine the way they were/are, it's simply that society hasn't or wasn't accepting them for who/how they are?

what if .. masculine females and effeminate males are normal and always have been and people can still be biological male or female and still not like, do or behave the way society has labeled us all as having to behave? but this doesn't mean they're not their biological sex or they don't/can't identify as their biological sex. maybe feeling that way is actually dysmorphic?

what if your biological sex is still correct and right and ok .. it's just that those around you are not accepting of how you wish to behave and live, and therefore you/others perceive this as not being the right gender?


in the end how a person lives their lives is their business, and someone not living that experience has no right to control what the person does or doesn't do with their lives.

however, unlike anorexia, gender dysmorphia can harm others in that .. 

having gender operations can and are going very very wrong .. which utterly harms those whose operations didn't go right (it's really difficult to change an entire body to be something else and not all surgeons are good at it).

biological males joining female sports groups or competing against females (as a female) is harmful to other females (what of their rights?)

there are cases of men pretending to identify as females to access females and children in their sacred and protected spaces. how are females and children to tell the difference from a male who truly identifies as females and men who are pretending? how does one prove this!

there are cases of men who claim to identify as female, sexually abusing females and children, who then claim to be a female perpetrator. this is very harmful to all involved.

and if .. it is a mental illness, is it not harmful to accept it as (false) reality - much like accepting an anorexic persons' refusal to eat or that someone with schizophrenia doesn't actually have schizophrenia?

the answer seems simple. give those who identify as the opposite/no gender their own spaces:  toilets, change rooms, teams, groups - let them share those spaces with each other .. and leave those who identify as their biological/birth gender to their own spaces and places.

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Where does racism stem from

racism = prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group
_ _ _ 

here in the land of oz it is assumed racism derived from colonisers - criminal white invaders who stole aboriginal land and killed them for standing up for their rights and that mentality has been passed on for generations (250 years).

it's far more complicated than that and here's why.

racism has existed for a very long time (perhaps since the dawn of time), long before white colonisers invaded oz, and all cultures and races are racist and xenophobic in some way.

half of my clan were colonisers, lived in oz for generations. the other half first generation oz.

i was raised being taught racism was wrong. maybe due to 1st gen clan being foreigners who experienced racism directly due to their skin colour and race.

my partner is 1st gen oz, he too was bullied for being foreign.

we are a non racist family, we raise our children not to be racist and i've had words with people who say racist things in my presence.

my son was set upon by a group of aboriginal boys while playing alone at a pool. i quickly jumped in and intervened. my son was shaking, scared, wanted to leave, so we did. he's still not racist towards aboriginal people.

he's now dating a 1st gen person of colour.

a lady i knew was bullied horrendously by aboriginal kids she went to school with. daily they would gang up on her and beat her up. not because shit was done to them by white folk but because my friend was an easy target. she was small, petite and walked home alone every afternoon.

i was also bullied by aboriginals as a very young child. we have aboriginal family (married into) and i was blessed enough to go live with them for a spell. i couldn't wait to make new friends and hang out with the other children but they bullied me and didn't want to play with me. i don't even know why, i was too young to understand their actions. it was most likely because i was an outsider.

in each of those cases the individuals were targeted and discriminated against based on them being a different race.

still i raised my children not to hate or discriminate. you cannot hate on a whole population for the actions of a few, otherwise i'd be disliking white people more because they've wrong me more than any other race.

if any aboriginal folk are reading this they'd be saying aboriginal folk were bullying white folk because of their own history of being mistreated by white folk.

nope. i say it's a learned thing, learned from adults talking about how bad others are, influencing their young-in's to hate and discriminate - doing the very thing they say they hate being done to them. like it's ok for aboriginal kids to beat up white kids because colonisers invaded 250 years ago and white folk are more racist to there .. 

yeah nah!

on the flip side, i know a 1st gen greek woman who is hella racist! she's not part of the white colonisers, white oz. she, herself, was bullied for being foreign (the hypocrisy does not escape me) yet she is still racist. why? because she learned it from adults talking about how bad others are. and she's not alone in her prejudiced. many 1st gen arrivals are super racist even when coming from countries that don't have white colonisers who pushed their white oz agenda.

asian's look down on white folk because they're inferior. the mayans looked down on the spanish invaders right from the get go, long before the shit hit the fan. aboriginal tribes killed and murdered other aboriginals tribes which in itself is a form of xenophobia (dislike of others) and discrimination.

racism really is something all races do, not just white folk, and something we are actually getting better and better at not doing.

and if white colonisers are the cause of racism today
1) why did racism exist long before they took over oz?
[think vikings invading england and the racism that went on then between two populations with the same skin colour.]
2) why does racism exist in countries where the people aren't white?
3) why aren't all colonisers racist?
4) why are some (many?) 1st gen oz arrivals racist outside of the colonisers reach?
5) why do whites treat their own kind poorly as well?
[think chains, corporal punishment and imprisonment of white folk for minor crimes i.e. stealing bread]

i put it to you that racism in oz doesn't just exist because of white colonisers handing down prejudices to future generations - it's too easy, too cliche, to blame in on white folk who came here 250 years ago. it also denies the current reasons for racism. it exists because there are still a great many people out their who didn't get the memo that everyone is equal. this has little to do with something that happened 250 years ago and more to do with current xenophobic views of others/us/them - taught and learned by people the world over.

keep in mind more and more people are leaving racist views behind as they learn to accept others as equal. we are living in the most peaceful and understanding time since known history and this is improving all the time.

Thursday, April 13, 2023

suicide


every one's calling it unaliving like the s word is a dirty word

they say the person i know who is missing would never do that

they don't know

you don't know

i don't know

i come across to those who know me as planning out a future for myself, i've got and make plans

there's no way i'll do myself in.

i'm going places

but

when i get intoxicated

drunk and other stuff

i can
get really down, reaching the darkest corners of my mind

i thought life would be like, i thought i'd be, i thought i'd like it more, be happier, surrounded by loved ones, gatherings, dancing, singing, laughing, be something, amount to something

and it's/i'm not

when sober i suffer this, so what, that's life (as cousins said)

i go it, i get by

but

sometimes i image wandering into the wilderness never to be seen again

and it won't matter

it is what it is

you don't know me

know my darkest thoughts 

Monday, January 2, 2023

ode to mia mamma no 1

you said i'm your best friend

yet you never took my side

you asked me to pay for things

you gave to others for free

you pointed out my imperfections

to my face and to others

i'd talk to you, tell you my side

and not be believed when your heard their's

that's not how best friends treat each other

you didn't have my back

or my best interests at heart

you've never really been there for me

never truly done anything for me

and falsely claim i'mm your best friend

what you provide is not friendship

let alone best friends

ode to mia mamma no 2

when i did it i was scrooge, tight arse, not generous

all of age 18

he was well into not giving well into adulthood

he was never scrooge, tight arse, not generous

he didn't know any better, you excused

because you're not calling him names, making him, asking him, coaching him

i've been more giving to you than he's ever been!

but i'm the tight wad

never letting the moths out of my purse

til death do we part

Thursday, November 17, 2022

pretend friends : story 1

we're not friends. we simply know each other.

thought there could be at the start. she'd said something about me & beau needing to spend time with her and her bf coz they're going really amazing, after she heard of our struggles. beau could learn from them, she said. watch the love birds interact and learn.

her and another pretend friend invited me to their birthday event and as soon as i arrived they plied with me drinks on the notion 'i needed to catch up.'

you must drink, passes a shotty, i see they have an empty glass or two, we've already had a few, you need to catch up... another shotty. and yet .. it seems like they're not drinking as much as they've given me. in quick succession.

i'm soon drunk around 2 peeps i don't know well and while they'll keep me safe, i'm not safe from their judgement. but it's a new friendship and i don't know that yet. but i sense it. i'm an idiot drunk that night, going up to strangers and drunkedly talking to them. idiot.

i crave conversation and someone to dance with, and they don't understand, and it's emotionally embarrassing.

then we're invited for dinner, all the families. it doesn't go that well. the men are segregated at a table outside surrounded by a neglected dull garden. the lasses are inside, chatting away nicely, children in another room. no mingling. the men join us later but it doesn't flow well, feels forced. i think one man goes to bed early.

next day or so she sends a text saying they're not looking to add extra friends to their already full friendship list. you understand.

no worries. all good, i reply. we're ousted yet unsure why.

from there we catch up sporadically and they only conversation they have with me is ragging out an ex mutual friend. i'm soon bored of the topic, keep changing the subject, and it keeps coming back to ragging. people who rag others rag you. my spidey senses are tingling in an unenjoyable way.

i stop suggesting catchups, then stop saying yes to invites.

we're not really friends. it's just pretend. i don't think any of us get any thing out of it.



Monday, October 4, 2021

The right to abortion

it amazes me, in this day and age, that people want to have laws that force pregnancies upon females (women & girls, because young girls fall pregnant too).

this is not the dark ages. this is not a time of ignorance and intolerance (well it is .. but it shouldn't be.)

and what of the males (men & boys) who get females pregnant? what happens to them? are they forced to pay for said abortions? will they be in trouble for the females unwanted pregnancies?

most of the females i know who've had abortions had them because the male who had gotten them pregnant didn't want to stay with them, didn't want the baby or didn't want to pay for the raising of the baby. it was his idea not hers. his enforcement.

there are still many females who willing choose abortion over having a baby, as is their right. if a male can forfeit all rights and responsibilities while should females be forced to go through with a birth?

not everyone will have an enjoyable, healthy, safe pregnancy. why force it on someone?

not everyone will make a good parent. why force it on someone?

not all babies will be born healthy and happy. why force it on someone / society?

i get we live in a time of survival of all, instead of survival of the fittest, and it's no longer acceptable to remove severely disable people from the community, even though some disabilities will be and are a drain on the economy and that person will not have a good life .. but a mere existence.

why are we so insistent of the birth and survival of all?

it's not like the world isn't over populated already. it's not like we don't have all these other children in need of care right now, who are abused, neglected, tortured, raped etc. while little is done to help them.

will all those who believe abortion is wrong be forced to foster children since they wholeheartedly believe all life is important .. or will they get to sit in their glass houses judging others who choose not too have children?

do those who believe in anti-abortion eat meat? meat is murder. why do fetus lives matter while animals lives do not?

do those who believe in anti-abortion watch pornography? pornography is the suffering, abuse and torture of people. who are they to say that abortion is wrong yet abuse of people is ok.

do those who believe in anti-abortion abuser others, judge others, hate others. why is one sin seen as ok while another sin is not?

if those who are anti-abortion believe in god and that is the reason they see abortion as wrong, then they need to be quiet and leave it in gods hands. for if god truly does believe abortion is wrong (even though the bible is full of tales of god asking followers to kill) it will be taken care of come judgement day, yes? no need for man to get involved at all right!

at the end of they day we are but mere ants. we live. we die. we're forgotten. lives goes on.

move on.

get over it.



Friday, March 12, 2021

the man of my dreams - poem

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was a veritable apollo
    but not ready to settle down

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was brilliant in bed
    but volatile out of bed

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was kind and compassionate
    but ruled by his mother

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was a terrific dancer
    but a game player

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was an amazing artist
    but cold as ice

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was all about unconditional love
    but he was a nomad

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was financially savvy
    but controlling and distant

if only i could pool all those fine qualities, and delete all the shitty ones, into the one
'man of my dreams'

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

life sucks

there is an offensive rental van that says: life s@cks if my gf doesn't.

but she's a slut, a ho, a trollop, promiscuous if she does. too many times females are treated lowly for giving sexual pleasure to a males .. and seen as frigid if they don't.

this is a derogatory statement made by men for men. it shows little regard or respect for females. 

the same men are the one's who wear t.shirts like this ..



[how many guys are reciprocating? how many guys are going down town? what about how her life sucks b/c he doesn't?]

for some reason there are males out there who don't respect females who have sex with them. 

and males who don't like gay guys who also find males hot either.

who picked your sexuality?

who picked theirs?

if men don't like men who find men sexy.

and they don't like women who find them sexy either.

maybe men dislike themselves so much they believe no one should find them sexy?

not all men


yes ALL men

all men at some stage during their lives will have been sexist towards women in some shape or form. it is very hard to go through life in a society such as ours without engaging in some form of sexism or another.

sexism towards women in by far the biggest reason females are seen as the inferior sex. it is by far the main reason males feel entitled to sex. it is by far the main reason incels hate women who won't sleep with them (because they have a grandiose feeling of entitlement due to sexualisation of women - they sleep with everyone else, why not them?)

sexualising women fuels men's desires for sex, it turns them on, feeds their fantasies, makes them view women as inferior and existing solely for their sexual pleasure.

it may not be the main cause for abuse, rape and murder of women - there would be many other factors related to why men do this - but it does contribute to women being lessor and therefore attackable.

females should be allowed to exist in this world without fear of attack but this just isn't the case.

so before you say #notallmen let us be clear, if you have done any of the following you are part of the problem:
  • called a female a slut because she slept with guys
  •  
  • called a female a tease (or worse) because she wouldn't sleep with you
  •  
  • badgered a female into having sex with you
  •  
  • watch pornography and sexual violence of women
  •  
  • go online to sext with little girls (& boys)
  •  
  • visited strip joints and x rated stores
  •  
  • play for a sports club that brings in strippers as male entertainment

  • read playboy 

  • trolled women on social media or did nothing while others trolled 

  • hang on incel sites and join in hateful conversations towards women

  • seek prostitutes because they believe their entitled to sex 

  • visit trafficked women and children 

  • engage in the trafficking of people, or standby and let this happen, this includes pimps

  • pass laws about female reproductive issues 

  • slept with drunk girls who couldn't say 'yes' (even if it's your girlfriend or wife) or stood by while others did this (or worse took photos!)

  • asked girls for sexual selfies 

  • abuse wives and children (thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse)

  • have friends who abuse their girlfriends, wives or children, while you do nothing
  •  
  • have sons who abuse girlfriends, wives or children, while you do nothing

  • sent dick pics (this is really just a flasher in disguise)

  • watched shows with unequal portions of female nudity, or been an actor alongside this happening to female colleges

  • watched music videos that sexualise females, or produce this type of imagery

  • work in media where unequal portions of female nudity, sexualised females and sexual violence is perpetrated against females, while you sit by and let it happen

  • have profited from the sale of females as a commodity

  • posted pics of cars/bikes/boats etc. where a female is sexualised alongside said vehicle
  •  
  • worked along side office staff who disrespect/sexualise/harass women while you say and do nothing
  •  
  • if you know that males live these lifestyles and do nothing because you think you're good and your ciricle of friends is good, you're part of the problem
the only way to tackle the problem is to buck a system that systematically puts women in the basket of sexual giver and men in the basket of receiver.

as you can see there are many ways to disrespect females in this world and we'd be hard pressed to find a man who hasn't done at least one of these things. that is literally millions of men on this earth being sexist towards women. and not because this is normal male behavior or normal relationships between the sexes. this is all learned stuff. all allowed by people within our society because men don't want to have to give it up.

this is why it is so important for more and more men (and women) to not buy into the crap. does the buck stop with you? will you be the type of man who breaks the cycle?

why - poem

 why do i do it?

is it boredom?

it's not done when working.

rarely done outside the home.

no real pressure.

do i seek the managable stress?

perhaps.

it makes me fidget.

active, mentally, creatively, thinking, planning.

head spins, spinny.

i ache, i pain. tooth, back, hip.

i love,

then i'm agitated.

stressed, busy

so much to do, so little done

where the time go?

Sunday, November 8, 2020

slit - poem

can't keep my hands to myself.

having a dance with...

myself.

wish you were here.

you won't ever be...

here.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

what happened to brandon swanson


brandon swanson was 19 when he went missing on may 14th 2008 near porter minnesota usa after attending a party in canby. brandon was from marshall and was driving back home after midnight, some say around 1am. 

he called his parents around 1:54am after he drove his car into a ditch and after he called friends first (guess they didn't answer or couldn't help out?) his parents got in their car and started driving towards where brandon said he was (lynd - wrong direction). he was on and off the phone to his parents til around 2:17am. 

at first brandon waited by his car and flashed his headlights hoping his parents would spot him then he started walking along gravel roads. heading north (brown arrow) because he thought he was near lynd.

since brandon thought he was near lynd he must have thought he'd driven more south than he had and for longer than he actually had (blue arrow - a guesstimate of where brandon thought he traveled).

at 2:20am brandon called his dad and they stayed on the phone for 47mins while brandon walked along  gravel roads, walking in the opposite direction from home. he told his dad he was going to walk to the nearest town since he could see the lights. what lights was he referring to? st leo? (it wold have taken around 2 1/4 hours to reach st leo.)

after walking along, still on the phone to his dad, brandon suddenly says 'oh shit'. there was a sliding, ruffling sound, then nothing. his mum says it sounded like the phone fell and brandon said 'oh shit'. some say the line was still open and his dad was still trying to talk to him and get him to respond but brandon didn't say anything after that. others claim the line went dead. did the phone also die or was it still working? the dad hung up from the call and kept trying to call back with no answer.

according to search manager jeff hasse with midwest technical rescue training brandon's car was found right on the border between lincoln, yellow medicine and lyon counties.

that's the red circle in the image below. just north between porter and taunton.

if we follow along the map from the approximate location where his car was found, 47mins take us to this approximate location (red pointer) - give or take the direction brandon was taking. if we guesstimate he started walking after 2am and before 2:17am and talked and walked from 2:20am for 47mins that gives brandon approximately an hour of walking before something happened to make him exclaim. 

if he followed along the path outlined above, he'd have reached the mud creek intersection in 55 minutes. is this where he slipped, got himself and his phone wet, losing his phone in the dark creek water? (do water logged phones ring out or go to directly to voice mail?)

was brandon significantly injured when he dropped his phone, badly sprained or broken an ankle, knocked his head? or maybe just dazzed and confused, while walking on un-even ground in the dark - treacherous.

you can see from an aerial view that this area is mostly cleared agricultural land with a smallish creek running through - mud creek. there are few trees aside from those dotted around properties and along creek and river beds. no thick forest to get lost in. no cliffs to fall off, though some ditches and creek beds can have big drop offs. it looks relatively harmless but navigating in the dark would have been difficult. the moon was waxing but clouds could have hindered any moonlight.

dogs tracked brandon's scent to farm fields north of porter. not yellow medicine river which others are saying brandon fell into and drowned which is south of his known location and direction.


we do not know how much further brandon walked after his phone call with his dad ended, however, search and rescue say brandon did continue walking based on sniffer dog tracking. certainly something significant enough happened that made him not be able to retrieve his phone and be able to respond to his dad's calls thereafter.

his phone was never found which could suggest it was on brandon's person and disappeared along with him. or brandon could have slipped and dropped his phone on the ground and not been able to find it in the dark. though both of these scenarios are unlikely because why not answer incoming calls if he still has his phone (unless it got wet and stopped working) and phones make noise and light up when they're rung - as his dad was continually doing - therefore could easily be spotted. makes more sense the phone fell some place non retrievable, like water, never to be seen again. particularly in the dark.

as mentioned above it would have taken 2 1/4 hours to reach st leo (if that's the lights he could see), except st leo is north east and brandon's scent was picked up north of porter. 

2 1/2 hours of walking north of porter (around 4:30am by then) puts brandon at around the 220th ave (country highway 3) location. just throwing out theories of how far brandon could travel during that dark, freezing, fateful night. considering it is theorised brandon died of hypothermia, he stopped sometime after 3am (soon after his phone call ended or for a longer period of time?) and died before dawn presumably. the coldest part of the night is before sunrise.

did he make it to the lac qui parle river and fall in and drown? did he crawl under a bush to rest only to succumb to the elements?

what happened to brandon? where did he go? why has his body never been found?

let's get into theories.

a) he fell into and drowned in yellow medicine river.

we can rule this out since the river is in the opposite direction to which brandon traveled. the other creeks and rivers north of brandon's car don't appear to be large enough to drown in, though looks can be deceiving. still, surely brandon's body would have been found somewhere along a creek or river.
also his dad did not hear splashing or water. if he fell in water would there be sounds of water before the phone went dead?

b) he was nabbed by someone in a car or a victim of a hit and run.

we can rule this out since a car would have been seen and heard approaching and he'd have mentioned this to his dad, even thinking it was his dad, and a car on gravel would also be heard by his dad on the other end of the phone. there would have also been other noises like voices, scuffling or a crash which his dad did not hear. abductions and crashes aren't quiet.

c) brandon fell down a well.

maybe, but then his body would be found in said well during searching, surely. and if not found, surely there is more to the sound of falling down a well than mere sliding, ruffling sounds, such as crying out way more than just oh shit!, phone and body hitting walls, a loud thud or splash at the bottom.

d) he fell asleep somewhere and died of hypothermia.

the theory is he slipped into water, got cold and wet and this killed (lost) his phone. why would he fall asleep? alcohol? tiredness? cold? temperatures were cold that night (3 degrees) but surely he'd have kept walking towards lights or a house or something (then again house lights would be off during the night). if he did die of hypothermia where is his body?

is it plausible brandon fell asleep in some giant wheat field and was accidentally ground up by an unsuspecting farmer who either didn't notice him there or didn't want to tell anyone because he felt criminally negligent? surely this is debatable since it would be an obvious sight!

jeff said brandon's scent was strongly picked up north of porter then nothing. did brand die there and some local farmer moved and hid his body? why would they want to do this? why not call in the discovery of a dead body? (maybe they're up to nefarious things and announcing the finding of a deceased person risks exposing their crimes? people can be cretins after all!)

e) he stumbled across something he shouldn't have and was murdered by a farmer or workers.

again there would have been noises to that effect. there was nothing stopping brandon from announcing to his dad there is someone pointing a gun at him (the way brandon lawson did), like saying 'hey don't shoot', and no shots or noises were heard after the oh shit and ruffling. being held up wouldn't have ended his phone call automatically.

___________________________

seems the most likely scenario is brandon dying of hypothermia and someone removing his body for whatever reason. there is the possibility his body just hasn't been found however i find it hard to believe farmers don't know every inch of their land, let alone if there is a body on their property. the smell of death would alert them to it.

thoughts?

Friday, October 2, 2020

kris kremer head shot analysed

 

above: photo of back of kris kremers head taken on april 8th. while the hair is tussled it seems remarkably clean for someone who has spent 8 days in the wilderness.

some suggest there is blood present in the above image (bottom right hand corner) yet hair seems too clean to be caked with blood (and head wounds bleed like mad!)


same image on it's side. note two dark dots middle left hand side of image and 2-3 white bauble things a bit lower down. what are they? nothing but tricks on the eye or people seeing something more than there is?


some claim the head shot is the same shot as the image of kris seen above, but photo shopped to look messy. tampered with by supposed killers to look like the girls were still alive on 8th april taking the night photos. why would any one bother doing that?

this is the most likely match up to what the head image is - the back of her hair, her bun and hair all messy from days in the wild. it is doubtful the image is photo shopped and more likely just a pic of messy hair.

or maybe it's more like this Ã¢
because there is that dark spot in the lower r/h corner that doesn't line up with having skin underneath.





if it is the back of kris's head what are the anomalies in the image, that is: the two dots that look like nostrils and the whitish bauble things? fingers? earrings? hair band? just strange shadows?

note skin cannot be seen through her hair in the original image (below) so it's unlikely (yet not impossible) skin would be showing through the night time of kris's hair.



could the two dots be a shot of her ear on the side with the dark (nostril looking) dots being part of the top of the ear and the white baubles her earrings? with the rest of her hair covering her face?


kris did have 3 piercings in one ear which align withe the 2-3 white bauble things.


unlikely though, because her face doesn't match up or fit in. where is her chin and neck in the image?


superimposing kris's face over the image shows the two dots do not align with her nostrils and the white bauble things are too small to be her teeth. also the bottom of her face and top of head doesn't fit in the image (they're not in the image).


it is unlikely the two dots and the baubles are showing the back of kris's neck and back of ear/earrings because it does not align with how kris's head looks from behind. 

it is too small as seen superimposed on the above image and her neck vs hair line start much further down.


what do you think? do you agree it is the back of her head showing a messy bun?
what do you think the dots and white things are?

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

what happened to kris kremers & lisanne froon

you've heard the stories. watched the youtube videos. pondered the theories.

a) abduction / murder

b) human trafficking or organ theft

c) injured / lost

i'm one to go with the most likely of scenarios. the two young women got lost.

i theorise that kris got injured some time after crossing the stream, most likely a badly twisted ankle or a bad fall, potential head injury. i theorise this since no more photos were taken of the girls smiling and hiking after this. lisanne was most likely helping kris walk and had no free hands. also it wouldn't be nice to take photos of an injured friend. maybe 509 was a pic of kris as she hurt herself and lisanne deleted it later on?

around 1 1/2 hours after the last images of kris crossing the stream were taken, the girls began making sporadic emergency calls, most likely due to kris being injured and needing help, or them being lost.

they likely wandered around trying to find a path home and couldn't. with each passing hour and day they got more and more lost and by now kris's injury would be causing her all manner of grief. they would have felt frantic and disorientated.

a theory for them removing their bras is they felt too constrictive, they could have fallen into water and the bras chafed so they took them off. they could have been following a stream thinking this would lead them back to some place familiar.

who knows what they did during the night to cope. the darkness and unfamiliar noises would have been disconcerting and frightening. with each new day they hobbled along trying to make it back to civilisation.

by 5th april lisanne's phone died and by now we can assume kris is not in a good way. maybe she is delirious and incoherent or too weak to do much of anything. both have had little food and water for days. 

on the 6th april, it is assumed lisanne attempts to use kris's phone since whomever used it didn't know the pin code. could kris have even been deceased by this time or just incapacitated and non communicative? though i feel it's unlikely lisanne would have stayed beside kris's dead body for 2 days. 6th the phone is used without a pin for the 1st time - 8th pic taken of kris's head, maybe deceased by this time, maybe not - it doesn't appear kris is lying down in the photo.

they made it to the location where the night photos were taken. could they have arrived there on the 5th and decided to stay put hoping to be found? unlikely. what is more likely, they get there on the 8th, maybe late evening or night time and stay there taking photos to get their bearings? or to signal for help.

it has been figured out that all of the night photos were taken at the same location. most likely near a water fall due to the presence of water droplets and what appears to be a drop off. this is where an sos was set up with ripped up paper and orange bags tied to a twig. hoping someone would fly over and spot them.

sources suggest the spot where the night photos were taken is cascada el sindigo en caldera, chiriqui, panama. according to one site sindigo waterfalls are in the gualaca region. i tried to find the falls on a map but it's not listed. typing in gualaca region shows the district is s.e. of boquete - which is no where near where kris and lisanne's remains were found.

this is a description of sindigo falls to go by.

Near the road that leads to La Estrella Los Valles is this beautiful waterfall that runs between lava walls and wells that seem ceremonial ...

is the orange road what they're talking about? this road also leads to where remains were discovered. or do they mean the white road off to the right which is in an entirely different direction?







a still shot taken from sindigo falls show the potential night photo location.

on the left part of the image below you can see a unique hollowed out bolder to the right of the water fall (in fact there is a few of them).

in the image lisanne took of the bolder with orange bags on a twig (the right part of the image), the rock in the background appears to also be a hollowed out bolder. possibly the same bolder from a different angle.

it's plausible this could be the location the images were taken. though it's location in relation to where items/remains were found is unclear and/or maybe too far away/wrong direction?

it would seem lisanne was panicked or spooked and taking photos frantically that night. why that night and not any other time? were they near the waterfall edge and taking pics to get the gist of their surroundings so as not to fall off the edge?


Note: the rounded boulder similar to the one the stick with orange bags was on. 
Note: the flat area in front were the SOS could have been set up.
Note: the unique hollowed out rocks similar to the ones in the back ground of the image with the stick & orange bags.

the yellow circle above to the right notes the potential spot for the below photo.


above is an image from the night time photos


this (above) is an image from sindigo falls

above & below - still images from sindigo falls video




and here is the night time photo superimposed over the sindigo falls image. could this be the same location during different seasons, or is the image from further right (as seen in the yellow circle above)?

maybe the girls died at the night photo location or maybe they moved on the day after these images were taken, once it was daylight and they could see. 

maybe lisanne moved down stream for a further 3 days after the night photos were taken (the phone was last checked on the 11th) and kris did not. hence why different remains were found sporadically in different places and possibly why lisanne's bones still had some tissue attached while kris's did not (they didn't die at the same time or same place). this might also explain why lisanne's backpack was found further down stream and her bones had been exposed to some type of fertiliser and kris's had not.

either way i think they died of starvation and thirst and their bodies decomposed and washed down stream, getting battered and broken up by rocks (even though it's claimed rocks couldn't do this damage, i say it's plausible especially once bodies start to decompose and the body becomes brittle).

i think the photo of the 2 girls and 2 boys in hot spring is red herring. detectives said they found other photos of the 2 girls (who were in the spring with the boys) on the camera and they weren't lisanne and kris. if we go by mostly likely scenario the detectives are correct and the photo is unrelated.

there is the deleted 509 photo which supposedly could only be deleted via a computer. i have my doubts about that and think it could have just accidentally or deliberately been deleted by lisanne some time after she took the other photos. maybe she went back through the photos and deleted that one by accident? i've also heard the sim card wasn't in the camera when pic 509 was taken hence the 'deleted' pic.

another possibility about the missing photo is whomever found their backpack looked at the images on a computer and accidentally deleted the photo. later on they left the bag by the stream to be found because they hoped to get the reward money.

and that's my theory. occam's razor.

thoughts?

Thursday, June 11, 2020

transgender the new war on sexes

if i met a man dressed as a woman i would interact with him with respect. i am respectful and polite to all people i meet unless they give me reason not to be.

i would not argue with this man if he wanted me to refer to him as she though i might forget and slip up because, naturally, there will be some innate confusion. my eyes see one thing, my mind sees something else.

if this man talked to me about feeling like he was born female in a man's body and couldn't wait to become fully female, i'd listen respectfully. though i might like to ask him what he defines as 'female'. i'd be interested to know how much he knows and relates to the struggles females go through for simply being born with a vagina and breasts.

is he aware of the rampant sexualisation of females (women & girls), does he rally with them, does he fight for their causes? or is it a matter of simply wanting a female body and female clothing, hair, shoes etc. that appeals to him. is he aware that he's joining the ranks of the lower/weaker sex?

the gays and trans people i know do not fight for female equality and in fact often indulge in activities that smack females in the face with sexualisation of said gender, ie watching shows with gratuitous female nudity, thus buying into sexual objectification of females and females beings seen as commodities (a way to sell and make a profit). much the same as a white person buying into racism and thinking it's cool or funny or entertaining because it doesn't affect them.

[while racism is rampant in the hearts and minds of millions, it is not allowed in any program i've ever watched, ie. noone's calling aboriginal people coons in music videos, without immense backlash, meanwhile sexism towards females in rampant in all forms with barely an outcry from the people]

i can understand lesbians enjoying sexualised females, they get to see naked ladies everywhere. however the only reason gay men enjoy the sexualisation of females is simply because this form of 'hatred and mistreatment of gender' doesn't affect them. if we saw opening anti gay or racist sentiment in the media as rampant as we see female objectification there'd be an uproar!

they are far more likely to fight for gay rights (normal, of course) than female rights. much the same as poc fighting for #blacklivesmatter and much the same as me fighting sexualisation of females. though i will also fight for the rights of gays and poc, gays are less likely to fight against female objectification. female poc might also fight sexism towards poc because they face both racism and sexism.

and therein lies my hesitation in having men transition to female. they have no idea of what it's like to be female and probably engaged female sexualisation. much like a white person wanting to transition to a person of colour with no understanding of what it is to face racism every day.

will those transgendered men to women face that sexism once they transition. yes. it is inevitable. they will also face further ridicule and mistreatment because to be a man (superior) who becomes a female (inferior) will make him less than in the eyes of other men (aside from the woke).

the same can be said of women to men. men won't accept them fully because they weren't born superior, they tried to become superior via operation. hatred will be even worse for coloured transgenders.

gays, lesbians, poc and females already face daily hardships because of how they were born (and there are groups of men who feel this way about being born male). transgenders will face the same backlash and hatreds because we don't treat people with the respect they deserve. instead we treat people with prejudices.

this is why i say if i met (and have met) a man who dresses as a woman or a woman who dresses as a man i will take them at face value and respect them as a person.

Monday, March 2, 2020

sex is normal

it's a common response and it's true. sex is a normal part of nature. people use this statement to argue they're allowed to have their fetishes; sucking on toes, body hair, defecating .. hurting, being hurt ..

a similar and frequent response to watching porn 'as normal' is based on men conquering foreign lands. often (white) folk will state that because polynesians fornicated 'out in the open' this means that watching people have sex is normal.

explorers finding new lands - and when you think about the feats involved in these explorations, the thinkers, the doers, the ships, the skills, the knowledge; once upon a time aboriginals came to oz this way - it's pretty amazing and understandable that they were curious and wanted to know what's out there then live there.

so they land in places home to people who've lived there for a long time. they write about what they're seeing, the plants, the animals, the foods, the drink, the people, the women, the rituals. they write about stumbling across lovers having sex in bushes or behind trees and this is use to site fact: these people prove it's normal for 1. people to want to fornicate in (for the) public. 2. for others to be curious and want watch them.

we've had those moments where the spontaneity took us and we had sex on a beach, in a car, at a park. but did we actually want some creeper voyeur to watch us? for some the answer is yes, for many the answer is no.

the people of that land would have also had dwellings or secret places they had sex in, just like us. they would have kept to themselves at times and had moments of outdoor spontaneity.

this doesn't mean they wanted to be watched by the strangers now on their land and in their space, that they didn't expect and want privacy, that they weren't seeking out long grass to hide in, that it was normal for lovers in the village to drop where they stood and start fornicating while one and all stood around watching, which was the implication - they didn't mind be watched, they wanted to be watched.
i'd say at the very least they didn't care if they were stumbled upon because sex was normal, yet we do not know that this meant they wanted someone to stand around watching. i'm sure their own people would have secretly watched on occasion because we are curious beings, even then this doesn't prove native people enjoyed being watched.

think about it. the stories i read, the people went to secluded places and were stumbled upon by a white man who documented it like the people who had sought to make out behind long grass were deliberately being voyeuristic, as apposed to trying to have some privacy.

we don't have the other side of the story and for all we know those couples found conquerors sexually menacing because they stumbled across them and watched them.

but wait there's more ..

seeing native people's having sex would have made those men lustful. they've no ladies of their own to fornicate with so they start taking the ladies for themselves. there might have been cases where the men were kind and women genuinely fell for them, yet for the most part this isn't history as we know it.

jump forward to now and we are viewing heinous amounts of heinous sex videos. videos of people being violated, hurt, brutalised, assaulted, raped, groomed .. some how over time the belief that 'watching others have sex; because we stumbled across natives' became, watching men, women, children and animals being hurt sexually is normal.

the lust of those conquerors somehow became the 'norm' which now means porners are normal because 'sex is normal'. even though what we're doing now with pornography isn't even sex let alone normal.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

gold : english literature piece

Gold up in my teeth (taste like money when I speak)

    [i'm ballin' coz you & i got dollars and together we're wealthy -  but money doesn't buy happiness]

Don’t care what you say to me, I’mma bite your feelings out

    [i'll speak my mind no matter what]

And I missed you in the basement (bodies on the pavement)

Bu your bro was a good substitute for you

    [you're absent as usual, so i'll interact with your bro instead]

If you love me, love me, but you never let me go

    [if you love me you'd let me be free]

When the roof was on fire you never let me know

    [you don't express emotions so i can't tell if all is ok with you or not]

Say you’re sorry, honey, but you never really show

    [you always apologise yet you never change or adapt or show me you're truly sorry]

And I could leave the party without ever letting you know

    [i can be present in body but absent in mind and you'll never know or care]

Thursday, October 10, 2019

those who like sex and those who don't

there are two types of male lovers. 

those who like sex and those who don't.

those who enjoy sex and those who want/expect sex.

those who want sex are:

males who expect quickies.
males who sleep with prostitutes.
males who rape.
males who only ever want one sided sex (their pleasure/climax).
males who are happy to put the same predictable moves on every time.

those who enjoy sex:

realise the joy to be had in giving as well as receiving.
understand the value of cuddling, caressing, touching, kissing.
understand the value of foreplay and how rewarding it is.
are curious about what his and his partner's bodies can do and the many different moves and positions they can experience.
enjoy the experience of finding out what their partner likes & having their partner explore their likes.
enjoy games, trying new things, the sound of their partner having a good time and actively participating.
care about both parties enjoyment.


which one are you?


p.s. this blog is about male lovers because it's what i've experienced. i image there are also females who like and enjoy sex in all it's glory and others who don't.

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

centrelink scam

my history with centrelink (once social security) is a long and annoying one, yet i'm not even the worst of any story out there to be told.

it begins with a teen pregnancy while still attending school. back then poor students got money from CL to help pay for books and tuition. as poor as i was i kept having to prove i was pore enough and argue with them that i needed help.

before the baby was born i applied for sickness benefits because i could not work and needed money. CL were annoyed that i wouldn't go out and get a job despite being 6 months pregnant and no one would employ me, plus being too sick (all day morning sickness and weighing a mere 39kg) to work.

i had to line up in a queue for 30+ mins, pregnant and fatigued (no sitting or I'd loose my spot in the queue). get to the counter and the person tells me i need X documentation to apply. i go home and get the form and return to CL another day, and queue again for a very long time. get to the counter and i'm told that form isn't enough, i also need X documentation. i'm pissed off but go home and return to repeat the process. my wait in the queue is 45mins on my feet, heavily pregnant (now they have seats and let people take a number). when i get to the counter i am told that my 2 pieces of documentation are not enough, i need a third document.

by this stage i am ropeable! i raise my voice and ask the person if they're kidding, then further ask why i wasn't told in the very beginning that i need 3 types of documentation!!!! couldn't help but feel it was some deliberate ploy staff are told to partake in to delay payments!? i made the assistant promise me this was the last additional thing i needed so i would not have to return and line up in a queue for 45mins again!

after the baby was born i went on single mother's benefits to help support and raise my baby. i could not work because i had no one to mind my baby and could not afford to pay anyone.

i'm on the single parent pension for some years and couldn't even consider getting into a relationship because CL expected whomever i dated to support me - so they could stop pay me my pension. what a stupid situation to put men in! having to support some new girl they've started dating. horrendous. no wonder so many single mums lie about being in a relationship. CL could at least consider waiting until a relationship is serious before expecting some poor bloke to support the woman he's dating.

cut to some years later, i start work, save money and buy a house. i work for years paying taxes.  my pay is only 22K p/a and CL don't offer mortgage assistance they way they would if i were renting so my child and i struggle along on my meager wage and we live in near poverty - yet lucky enough to have a roof over our head. when i quit that job (due to working with dreadful men) and apply for CL.  CL consider my house an asset (of course) but not my child, and pay me very little.  my son and i lived off $220 per week - it's better than nothing t least.

i find another job, better paying than the last yet still not quite enough to live flush. CL pay me childcare benefits for low income earners to help put my child through school and feed him. i eventually get into a relationship that became serious and the man moves in.

he has come from interstate and is unemployed while he searches for a job. he applies for unemployment benefits while he searches and CL consider his application. he mentions living with me on his application and this causes CL to STOP my childcare benefits because i now have a man who can support me (even though he's unemployed and has applied for benefits himself).

months and months later his application is rejected because i earn too much (45K a year for me, my son and new partner). i talk to CL about all those weeks/months of missed childcare benefit payments from them and am told i had 14 days (only) to fight their removal of my benefits (14 days from the time payments were stopped). which i couldn't have fought because the boyfriends' benefits were still being processed... they don't back pay even though his claim in rejected.

so i lose hundreds of dollars in payments from CL (they paid around $120 per week childcare benefits) and lose my childcare benefits status which entitles me to a childcare fee rebate (for after school care while I worked) and i don't get a cent of it back. at all! ever!

some time later i work as a temp which means my earnings are not set and i have to guesstimate my potential earnings for the year in order to receive my childcare benefits. one year my guesstimation is incorrect and CL send me a bill for $700 that i owe them for their over payment because i earned more than i said i might.

this is but one story of the hell that is CL and the way they treat those who seek their help.

have a CL story of your own? share below.