toxic masculinity, is there such a thing?

it's a word being thrown around a lot these days.  some say there is no such thing as toxic masculinity.  to say such a thing implies all men are toxic, that being masculine is toxic.

not all men are toxic.  many are wonderful people with open arms and kind souls, raising more males to be just as decent.  however some male behaviors are toxic.

hateful talk of women.
sexual harassment.
beating women.
raping women.
watching women being beaten and raped.
hurting children.

yes women can be toxic too and those above behaviors are not just male issues.  for sure there are women who need re-education on how to behave nicely to others.  and yes, we don't hear the phrase toxic femininity being thrown around .. what's with that?

i guess this is because men are currently out-weighing women with their toxic behaviors and men are stronger and more prone to acting out violence (on women, men and children).  toxic behaviors such as anger, violence, hatred, murder, king hitting, rape, hurting children, gang bashing, gun violence, negative incel behavior.

when these issues are raised men start telling people to stop talking about men like men are a problem.  like it's a problem to be male.

this is not what's being said.  what is being said is, more men than women are feeling disgruntled right now and acting out on that disgruntlement.  male suicide rates are high.  male violence is high.  partner beatings and killings are high.  there must be a reason for this!  unhappy men.  men feeling pressure to me manly.  men not being able to talk about whats on their minds and seek help.  mental illness.  addictions.  men growing up around other men who raised them to feel shit about themselves and thus pass the buck on.

there are many reasons why men are feeling disgruntled.

the point of talking about the toxic side to being male is to bring these issues to light and work on ways to resolves these issues.  it's not to throw men under a bus for simply being male. instead of saying #notallmen are toxic, let's acknowledge that many are struggling and all good men to be part of the solution!

women cannot fix men's issues. when they try they're hated for being feminists pushing their own agendas (to hate and control men).  when the phrase toxic masculinity comes out men get their jocks in a knot instead of admitting, not all men are, but many men are and all men can help.

note: more often than not an abuser was also abused (male or female).  we need to help these people before they hurt others or themselves.