Tuesday, February 5, 2019

I feel this way when you ...

conversation goes as follows:

i feel neglected when you invite me along to a gathering, insist that i come along, get upset if i don't, only to leave me for dust upon arrival.  i need you to remember i'm there or let me choose to not come.  [by choose i mean accept i'm not coming and don't argue the reasons i should come, and don't try to badger me into coming]

there's a fair bit of push and shove that goes on at this point.  him defending his actions.  me trying to reason my view.  it goes back and forth for a while.

there is either an impasse or a sorry that comes afterward and a promise not to do it next time.  at which stage i start insisting on not having [being forced] to attend the events [they're clearly not for or about me - my enjoyment is not relevant].  at which stage he'll accuse me of not trying to mingle and i'm like, yeah i know, i don't like mingling / being left on my own.  you want me there .. do more with me. blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda

each time i insist on not going, though maybe once a year i get swayed into going, only to groundhog day the whole thing over and over again.  wondering why i haven't kicked myself in the head yet.  wondering why he can't accept this is what happens and accept that i don't enjoy myself and don't want to do it.

why why why .. delilah ???

it's exasperating.  how do you reason with someone like that?





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