When I write about the experience it seems like it happened in a blink. This kept going for years, being screamed at, shaken, sat on, pinned down, clawed at, blankets dragged off me, the feeling of being dragged off my bed. Sensing the dark shadow standing in the corner of my room watching me, waiting for me to fall asleep. Some times I would wake, immobile, hearing urgent pounding on the front door. Knowing who ever it was wasn't safe to let if but they were insistent. It almost sounded like my abusive ex boyfriend. When I would finally be able to move and check the front door there was no one there.
I used to have my boyfriend stay over as often as he could so I could sleep. I would still feel the dark presence in the room watching me and the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up. I would tell my boyfriend to turn on the light and sleep that way. He couldn't sense anything in the room yet was patient and tolerant of my panicked ways. The screaming, shaking and being sat on never happened when my boyfriend was there.
One night while lying next to my boyfriend I had a nightmare. Not something I have often. In this dream I was in Southland, shopping for clothes and noticed my ex boyfriend stalking and spying on me from behind clothes racks. I tried to get away from him, trying to hide, out run and out smart him. I got to the front of the shopping center and saw a group of bikers and decided to ask them to protect me. The agree and we all road off together on their Harley's. I knew my boyfriend would not be able to keep up because he had no transport. They took me to the beach, Edithvale if recall, and we were swimming in the sea. I bobbed under the water and the white cold arm of my ex boyfriend reached in to grab me. He had found me at the beach and managed to get to me through all the bikers.
I woke, sitting bolt up right, I was cold to touch even though it was 30degrees and my heart skipped a beat before making up for lost time. I woke my boyfriend by waking with such a fright, he turned the light on, asked me what happened. I couldn't talk. I just said I had a bad dream and then tossed and turned for a while before finally falling back to sleep.
A couple of weeks later I got a phone call from my ex's dad telling me he was dead, killed by a road train months ago. It had taken the dad a long time to find me to give me the news.
After years of what I called 'haunting' I had become an insomniac who couldn't stay awake during the day. I was losing weight, not eating, only drinking coffee (like someone from Nightmare on Elm Street - ironically I lived on Elm Road at the time). I saw a doctor, not telling him any of strange things that were happening (guess I still believe I was cracking up), only told him that I couldn't sleep and wasn't coping with life. He told me I was having a nervous breakdown, probably brought on by my anorexia. I told the doctor I wasn't anorexic, as in starving myself because I thought I was fat. I simply couldn't eat because I was too stressed. He told me to go home and eat proper meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner for two weeks in a row and see if I felt better. I felt less depressed when I ate for two weeks but nothing else changed.
One night I was asleep and woke to sensation of my blankets being pulled off me. I froze, too afraid to move. Then something grabbed my ankles and began dragging me off the foot of the bed. They dragged me slowly but didn't stop when I got to the foot of the bed. I hit the floor with a thud which actually woke me. When I went to lash out at what ever had dragged me off the bed, my left arm touched my blanket which was still on me. Turning the light on, I found that I was still in my bed tucked snugly under my covers. I hadn't moved and been dragged off the bed. It had been a dream. This made me wonder, of course, had everything else just been a dream?
A couple of weeks later my flat mate got up one morning looking white as a ghost. I asked him what happened and he told me he woke but couldn't move and he was being sat on while being hit around the face. He had been able to open his eyes and see a lady on him. I had always been on my left side facing the wall unable to open my eyes. He could tell by my expression I knew what he was talking about and I confessed that this had been happening to me for years.
However, it only happened to him once and soon stopped with me too. When I moved out what ever it was did not follow me or come with me. Whether it was nightmares or bad dreams, caused by stressed and an over active imagination, out of body experiences or some dark force trying to take me to the dark side.... I don't know. All I know is it started in that place and stopped when I left. Never to happen again.
http://www.castleofspirits.com/sleepparalysis.html
No comments:
Post a Comment