Thursday, July 28, 2011

sexy isn't what guys want

I was a regular teen girl. I like boys and wanted to be an actress. I grew up with a dad who didn’t engage in porn, men’s mags or things like that and he raised me to be the same. Outside of our home every thing told me that female objectification was normal.
Growing up I remember watching a ‘family’ movie in primary school where a lady did a strip tease down to her sparkly knickers with just tassels on her breasts. I told the teacher he needed to turn the movie off, that we shouldn’t be watching this and was told to sit down and be quiet. I remember movies where women got raped, had their clothes ripped off and their bodies exposed and I wondered why it was ok to show this? I wondered if shows like this were damaging because they were saying “This is bad but here are some breasts to make you watch”.
I’ve got my dad in one ear telling me to be a good girl and not to sleep with boys because sex is all they’re after, while the world is telling me sexy is good, sex is popular, all the guys want sexy and sex!  By the time I’m late teens early 20’s I’m mildly promiscuous, though I’m not more popular and I’m very confused.  I thought sexy was the way to be. Everywhere I look I'm being told this!!
There is nudity and sexual innuendo in music videos, TV commercials, billboards, Paris Hilton getting famous from a leaked homemade sex video, men who go to strips clubs, download porn from the net, purchase Playboy and want to watch porn with their girlfriends.  There are shows like Blokes World, Girls of the Playboy Mansion and Underbelly full of female nudity and objectification – in the guise of entertainment.  Yet when I indulge in this kind of behavior (which I'm told is some form of female equality) the reaction isn't good.


When I start dating I meet men who want to go to strip clubs with mates and read Playboy and watch Blokes World and again I’m confused. Why do they like this but I wasn’t liked when I was all that? I start talking to boyfriends about how I want to become a stripper or pose for Playboy and they don't like the idea because “guys don’t respect that”. To which I reply, “Exactly, so why are you doing that to someone else’s sister, girlfriend, mother, daughter?” I've been asked to watch porn with guys and I say I’d rather have sex than watch other people having sex – more fun yes!
For them it is normal, if not their right as a man to subject women to this and guys are ridiculed by their mates when they don't engage in this behavior!
So you can see what began as harmless entertainment or advertising became a young girl’s nightmare as she grew into womanhood. There are many other girl’s dealing with this. There are young girls sending naked pics of themselves on their phones to their boyfriends who then share the pics with their mates. Very damaging! All because society tells boys and girls this is normal. Society teaches us: guys like sexy and girls should be sexy. If you're not sexy as a girl then you're nothing and if your not after as much sex as you can get as a boy then there is something wrong with you.

I encourage ALL MEN to be courageous and say NO to all forms of female objectivity. The welfare, confidence and self-esteem of your sons, daughters, girlfriends and wives depend on it. Not to mention it also gives you your power back as a man to fight and stand up for something far bigger than instant gratification at the expense of all women.

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