operation “don’t engage” is coming along nicely. he phoned tonight to talk to me about my facebook post. “what’s with the facebook post…” he starts off, telling me he doesn’t like my post.
i refuse to engage in a fight. i let him have his say but did not arc up, defend or justify. i laughed it off, asked him what he’s referring to. he says my latest post, everyone knows the post is about him and it makes him look bad.
i asked him jovially if that was the reason he rang, adding i thought he was ringing because he missed me. that threw him for a bit and he went quiet. i asked him if it was dinner time for him. he had already eaten, rice, chicken, prawns etc. then he says, “anyway, that’s the reason i rang. i don’t like your facebook post”. i told him his concern was duly noted. he said “not that that does much”.
still jovial i talked about how the post .. regarding me doing copious amounts of house work, but don't tell anyone coz i want to maintain a facade of laziness .. is about a secret i’ve kept under wraps and am proud to have maintained for so long, that i'm not really as lazy as i pretend to be (& make light of it on fb).
he said that is not what he thinks it says at all, that it is obviously about him and everyone knows it and now thinks badly of him. (it's not true since no one out in the world knows he constantly puts me down and calls me lazy. it is a post directed at him, yes, but in a way that's meant to make him [and only him] realise i'm not as lazy as he tells me i am).
i said happy as larry, “anyway you’re in a bad mood so I’ll let you go and you can call me back when you’re in a better mood.” and we hung up.
i asked him jovially if that was the reason he rang, adding i thought he was ringing because he missed me. that threw him for a bit and he went quiet. i asked him if it was dinner time for him. he had already eaten, rice, chicken, prawns etc. then he says, “anyway, that’s the reason i rang. i don’t like your facebook post”. i told him his concern was duly noted. he said “not that that does much”.
still jovial i talked about how the post .. regarding me doing copious amounts of house work, but don't tell anyone coz i want to maintain a facade of laziness .. is about a secret i’ve kept under wraps and am proud to have maintained for so long, that i'm not really as lazy as i pretend to be (& make light of it on fb).
he said that is not what he thinks it says at all, that it is obviously about him and everyone knows it and now thinks badly of him. (it's not true since no one out in the world knows he constantly puts me down and calls me lazy. it is a post directed at him, yes, but in a way that's meant to make him [and only him] realise i'm not as lazy as he tells me i am).
i said happy as larry, “anyway you’re in a bad mood so I’ll let you go and you can call me back when you’re in a better mood.” and we hung up.
normally i’d have fired up. gotten angry with him telling me what i’m not allowed to post on facebook. i would have defended my actions, justified and tried to reason with him so he can see that i was not wrong or bad for doing what i (as free and grown adult) have done.
he would have gotten angry with the fact that I'm never accountable for my actions.
it would have been an angry phone conversation that ended on a bad note. but i’m not going to justify myself to him anymore. i’m not going to engage in his fault finding, critiques and put downs. if he wants to point out my failings so be it. i refuse to engage in that combat any more. obviously he wants to pick fights, have battles and start a war with me… and all this time i’ve been warring back. no more. if he is looking for a war he’ll find he’s fighting alone, that i’m not fighting back.
he would have gotten angry with the fact that I'm never accountable for my actions.
it would have been an angry phone conversation that ended on a bad note. but i’m not going to justify myself to him anymore. i’m not going to engage in his fault finding, critiques and put downs. if he wants to point out my failings so be it. i refuse to engage in that combat any more. obviously he wants to pick fights, have battles and start a war with me… and all this time i’ve been warring back. no more. if he is looking for a war he’ll find he’s fighting alone, that i’m not fighting back.
KD
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