Friday, March 12, 2021

the man of my dreams - poem

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was a veritable apollo
    but not ready to settle down

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was brilliant in bed
    but volatile out of bed

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was kind and compassionate
    but ruled by his mother

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was a terrific dancer
    but a game player

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was an amazing artist
    but cold as ice

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was all about unconditional love
    but he was a nomad

i dated the man of my dreams
  he was financially savvy
    but controlling and distant

if only i could pool all those fine qualities, and delete all the shitty ones, into the one
'man of my dreams'

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

life sucks

there is an offensive rental van that says: life s@cks if my gf doesn't.

but she's a slut, a ho, a trollop, promiscuous if she does. too many times females are treated lowly for giving sexual pleasure to a males .. and seen as frigid if they don't.

this is a derogatory statement made by men for men. it shows little regard or respect for females. 

the same men are the one's who wear t.shirts like this ..



[how many guys are reciprocating? how many guys are going down town? what about how her life sucks b/c he doesn't?]

for some reason there are males out there who don't respect females who have sex with them. 

and males who don't like gay guys who also find males hot either.

who picked your sexuality?

who picked theirs?

if men don't like men who find men sexy.

and they don't like women who find them sexy either.

maybe men dislike themselves so much they believe no one should find them sexy?

not all men


yes ALL men

all men at some stage during their lives will have been sexist towards women in some shape or form. it is very hard to go through life in a society such as ours without engaging in some form of sexism or another.

sexism towards women in by far the biggest reason females are seen as the inferior sex. it is by far the main reason males feel entitled to sex. it is by far the main reason incels hate women who won't sleep with them (because they have a grandiose feeling of entitlement due to sexualisation of women - they sleep with everyone else, why not them?)

sexualising women fuels men's desires for sex, it turns them on, feeds their fantasies, makes them view women as inferior and existing solely for their sexual pleasure.

it may not be the main cause for abuse, rape and murder of women - there would be many other factors related to why men do this - but it does contribute to women being lessor and therefore attackable.

females should be allowed to exist in this world without fear of attack but this just isn't the case.

so before you say #notallmen let us be clear, if you have done any of the following you are part of the problem:
  • called a female a slut because she slept with guys
  •  
  • called a female a tease (or worse) because she wouldn't sleep with you
  •  
  • badgered a female into having sex with you
  •  
  • watch pornography and sexual violence of women
  •  
  • go online to sext with little girls (& boys)
  •  
  • visited strip joints and x rated stores
  •  
  • play for a sports club that brings in strippers as male entertainment

  • read playboy 

  • trolled women on social media or did nothing while others trolled 

  • hang on incel sites and join in hateful conversations towards women

  • seek prostitutes because they believe their entitled to sex 

  • visit trafficked women and children 

  • engage in the trafficking of people, or standby and let this happen, this includes pimps

  • pass laws about female reproductive issues 

  • slept with drunk girls who couldn't say 'yes' (even if it's your girlfriend or wife) or stood by while others did this (or worse took photos!)

  • asked girls for sexual selfies 

  • abuse wives and children (thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse)

  • have friends who abuse their girlfriends, wives or children, while you do nothing
  •  
  • have sons who abuse girlfriends, wives or children, while you do nothing

  • sent dick pics (this is really just a flasher in disguise)

  • watched shows with unequal portions of female nudity, or been an actor alongside this happening to female colleges

  • watched music videos that sexualise females, or produce this type of imagery

  • work in media where unequal portions of female nudity, sexualised females and sexual violence is perpetrated against females, while you sit by and let it happen

  • have profited from the sale of females as a commodity

  • posted pics of cars/bikes/boats etc. where a female is sexualised alongside said vehicle
  •  
  • worked along side office staff who disrespect/sexualise/harass women while you say and do nothing
  •  
  • if you know that males live these lifestyles and do nothing because you think you're good and your ciricle of friends is good, you're part of the problem
the only way to tackle the problem is to buck a system that systematically puts women in the basket of sexual giver and men in the basket of receiver.

as you can see there are many ways to disrespect females in this world and we'd be hard pressed to find a man who hasn't done at least one of these things. that is literally millions of men on this earth being sexist towards women. and not because this is normal male behavior or normal relationships between the sexes. this is all learned stuff. all allowed by people within our society because men don't want to have to give it up.

this is why it is so important for more and more men (and women) to not buy into the crap. does the buck stop with you? will you be the type of man who breaks the cycle?

why - poem

 why do i do it?

is it boredom?

it's not done when working.

rarely done outside the home.

no real pressure.

do i seek the managable stress?

perhaps.

it makes me fidget.

active, mentally, creatively, thinking, planning.

head spins, spinny.

i ache, i pain. tooth, back, hip.

i love,

then i'm agitated.

stressed, busy

so much to do, so little done

where the time go?

Sunday, November 8, 2020

slit - poem

can't keep my hands to myself.

having a dance with...

myself.

wish you were here.

you won't ever be...

here.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

what happened to brandon swanson


brandon swanson was 19 when he went missing on may 14th 2008 near porter minnesota usa after attending a party in canby. brandon was from marshall and was driving back home after midnight, some say around 1am. 

he called his parents around 1:54am after he drove his car into a ditch and after he called friends first (guess they didn't answer or couldn't help out?) his parents got in their car and started driving towards where brandon said he was (lynd - wrong direction). he was on and off the phone to his parents til around 2:17am. 

at first brandon waited by his car and flashed his headlights hoping his parents would spot him then he started walking along gravel roads. heading north (brown arrow) because he thought he was near lynd.

since brandon thought he was near lynd he must have thought he'd driven more south than he had and for longer than he actually had (blue arrow - a guesstimate of where brandon thought he traveled).

at 2:20am brandon called his dad and they stayed on the phone for 47mins while brandon walked along  gravel roads, walking in the opposite direction from home. he told his dad he was going to walk to the nearest town since he could see the lights. what lights was he referring to? st leo? (it wold have taken around 2 1/4 hours to reach st leo.)

after walking along, still on the phone to his dad, brandon suddenly says 'oh shit'. there was a sliding, ruffling sound, then nothing. his mum says it sounded like the phone fell and brandon said 'oh shit'. some say the line was still open and his dad was still trying to talk to him and get him to respond but brandon didn't say anything after that. others claim the line went dead. did the phone also die or was it still working? the dad hung up from the call and kept trying to call back with no answer.

according to search manager jeff hasse with midwest technical rescue training brandon's car was found right on the border between lincoln, yellow medicine and lyon counties.

that's the red circle in the image below. just north between porter and taunton.

if we follow along the map from the approximate location where his car was found, 47mins take us to this approximate location (red pointer) - give or take the direction brandon was taking. if we guesstimate he started walking after 2am and before 2:17am and talked and walked from 2:20am for 47mins that gives brandon approximately an hour of walking before something happened to make him exclaim. 

if he followed along the path outlined above, he'd have reached the mud creek intersection in 55 minutes. is this where he slipped, got himself and his phone wet, losing his phone in the dark creek water? (do water logged phones ring out or go to directly to voice mail?)

was brandon significantly injured when he dropped his phone, badly sprained or broken an ankle, knocked his head? or maybe just dazzed and confused, while walking on un-even ground in the dark - treacherous.

you can see from an aerial view that this area is mostly cleared agricultural land with a smallish creek running through - mud creek. there are few trees aside from those dotted around properties and along creek and river beds. no thick forest to get lost in. no cliffs to fall off, though some ditches and creek beds can have big drop offs. it looks relatively harmless but navigating in the dark would have been difficult. the moon was waxing but clouds could have hindered any moonlight.

dogs tracked brandon's scent to farm fields north of porter. not yellow medicine river which others are saying brandon fell into and drowned which is south of his known location and direction.


we do not know how much further brandon walked after his phone call with his dad ended, however, search and rescue say brandon did continue walking based on sniffer dog tracking. certainly something significant enough happened that made him not be able to retrieve his phone and be able to respond to his dad's calls thereafter.

his phone was never found which could suggest it was on brandon's person and disappeared along with him. or brandon could have slipped and dropped his phone on the ground and not been able to find it in the dark. though both of these scenarios are unlikely because why not answer incoming calls if he still has his phone (unless it got wet and stopped working) and phones make noise and light up when they're rung - as his dad was continually doing - therefore could easily be spotted. makes more sense the phone fell some place non retrievable, like water, never to be seen again. particularly in the dark.

as mentioned above it would have taken 2 1/4 hours to reach st leo (if that's the lights he could see), except st leo is north east and brandon's scent was picked up north of porter. 

2 1/2 hours of walking north of porter (around 4:30am by then) puts brandon at around the 220th ave (country highway 3) location. just throwing out theories of how far brandon could travel during that dark, freezing, fateful night. considering it is theorised brandon died of hypothermia, he stopped sometime after 3am (soon after his phone call ended or for a longer period of time?) and died before dawn presumably. the coldest part of the night is before sunrise.

did he make it to the lac qui parle river and fall in and drown? did he crawl under a bush to rest only to succumb to the elements?

what happened to brandon? where did he go? why has his body never been found?

let's get into theories.

a) he fell into and drowned in yellow medicine river.

we can rule this out since the river is in the opposite direction to which brandon traveled. the other creeks and rivers north of brandon's car don't appear to be large enough to drown in, though looks can be deceiving. still, surely brandon's body would have been found somewhere along a creek or river.
also his dad did not hear splashing or water. if he fell in water would there be sounds of water before the phone went dead?

b) he was nabbed by someone in a car or a victim of a hit and run.

we can rule this out since a car would have been seen and heard approaching and he'd have mentioned this to his dad, even thinking it was his dad, and a car on gravel would also be heard by his dad on the other end of the phone. there would have also been other noises like voices, scuffling or a crash which his dad did not hear. abductions and crashes aren't quiet.

c) brandon fell down a well.

maybe, but then his body would be found in said well during searching, surely. and if not found, surely there is more to the sound of falling down a well than mere sliding, ruffling sounds, such as crying out way more than just oh shit!, phone and body hitting walls, a loud thud or splash at the bottom.

d) he fell asleep somewhere and died of hypothermia.

the theory is he slipped into water, got cold and wet and this killed (lost) his phone. why would he fall asleep? alcohol? tiredness? cold? temperatures were cold that night (3 degrees) but surely he'd have kept walking towards lights or a house or something (then again house lights would be off during the night). if he did die of hypothermia where is his body?

is it plausible brandon fell asleep in some giant wheat field and was accidentally ground up by an unsuspecting farmer who either didn't notice him there or didn't want to tell anyone because he felt criminally negligent? surely this is debatable since it would be an obvious sight!

jeff said brandon's scent was strongly picked up north of porter then nothing. did brand die there and some local farmer moved and hid his body? why would they want to do this? why not call in the discovery of a dead body? (maybe they're up to nefarious things and announcing the finding of a deceased person risks exposing their crimes? people can be cretins after all!)

e) he stumbled across something he shouldn't have and was murdered by a farmer or workers.

again there would have been noises to that effect. there was nothing stopping brandon from announcing to his dad there is someone pointing a gun at him (the way brandon lawson did), like saying 'hey don't shoot', and no shots or noises were heard after the oh shit and ruffling. being held up wouldn't have ended his phone call automatically.

___________________________

seems the most likely scenario is brandon dying of hypothermia and someone removing his body for whatever reason. there is the possibility his body just hasn't been found however i find it hard to believe farmers don't know every inch of their land, let alone if there is a body on their property. the smell of death would alert them to it.

thoughts?

Friday, October 2, 2020

kris kremer head shot analysed

 

above: photo of back of kris kremers head taken on april 8th. while the hair is tussled it seems remarkably clean for someone who has spent 8 days in the wilderness.

some suggest there is blood present in the above image (bottom right hand corner) yet hair seems too clean to be caked with blood (and head wounds bleed like mad!)


same image on it's side. note two dark dots middle left hand side of image and 2-3 white bauble things a bit lower down. what are they? nothing but tricks on the eye or people seeing something more than there is?


some claim the head shot is the same shot as the image of kris seen above, but photo shopped to look messy. tampered with by supposed killers to look like the girls were still alive on 8th april taking the night photos. why would any one bother doing that?

this is the most likely match up to what the head image is - the back of her hair, her bun and hair all messy from days in the wild. it is doubtful the image is photo shopped and more likely just a pic of messy hair.

or maybe it's more like this รข
because there is that dark spot in the lower r/h corner that doesn't line up with having skin underneath.





if it is the back of kris's head what are the anomalies in the image, that is: the two dots that look like nostrils and the whitish bauble things? fingers? earrings? hair band? just strange shadows?

note skin cannot be seen through her hair in the original image (below) so it's unlikely (yet not impossible) skin would be showing through the night time of kris's hair.



could the two dots be a shot of her ear on the side with the dark (nostril looking) dots being part of the top of the ear and the white baubles her earrings? with the rest of her hair covering her face?


kris did have 3 piercings in one ear which align withe the 2-3 white bauble things.


unlikely though, because her face doesn't match up or fit in. where is her chin and neck in the image?


superimposing kris's face over the image shows the two dots do not align with her nostrils and the white bauble things are too small to be her teeth. also the bottom of her face and top of head doesn't fit in the image (they're not in the image).


it is unlikely the two dots and the baubles are showing the back of kris's neck and back of ear/earrings because it does not align with how kris's head looks from behind. 

it is too small as seen superimposed on the above image and her neck vs hair line start much further down.


what do you think? do you agree it is the back of her head showing a messy bun?
what do you think the dots and white things are?