reoccurring dreams

wings

Some Native Americans believe reoccurring dreams are important messages trying to tell us something.

Probably doesn't take a genius to figure out what my reoccurring childhood dream meant considering my unhappy upbringing.
I used to dream this when I was around 8 to 10 years old. I'm sent to the milk bar to get milk. It's night time. The streets on the way to the milk bar are familiar in my dream but no place I've ever seen before in real life. The street lights are on and many house lights are on with people up watching TV or something.

Looking like any other ordinary streets only it's not the way to any milk bar I ever went to. The milk bar is reminiscent of the milk bar from when I was a little girl and got stung by a bee for the first, and only time in my life.

I watch myself walk into the bar. When I come out empty handed I see that all the houses and streets have changed. Since I used them as visuals to know my way I can't find my way home. Panic races through me as I wonder how I will get home.

Not only that, but somehow I know that witches are out there in the dark, and are going to get me if I don't get back home where I'm safe. Scared, I start heading down one street looking for a familiar house. I turn down another street looking for another familiar house. I can hear the witches cackle, but I never see them.

In the end I run into one of the houses thinking I'll be safe, the people inside will let me in and the witches will think it's my real house and leave me alone.

sweet dreams

Beyonce's Sweet Dreams reminds me of a guy I've been dreaming about for years.

He first appeared to me when I was 16.  I was actually dreaming about a movie star I idolised and he popped into my dream.  I was saying goodbye to him as I left with the movie star, when I suddenly felt sad and heart broken to be leaving him.  When I woke I had this strange sensation that I was in love with him.  But who was He?  Where did he come from?

He has come to me in my dreams ever since.  Over the years I have come to know all about him. I know what he looks like and draw him.  Dark medium length wavy hair, square jaw, deep blue almond shaped eyes, a smile that curls up at the sides of his mouth.

I date guys who resemble him.  The same hair, the same body, height, the same smile.  I've never found someone with the same eyes as him.  None of the guys I date are him.  They don't feel the way about me as he does.  Always looking for him in real life.  I think of him when I make love.  I dream of him when I'm sad and lonely.  I have heard him calling to me as I wake and once heard his voice in my ear.

Who is he?  What is he?  Is he my guardian angle?  His he a man who has lived but since passed?  Was he a lover from a previous life?  Is he my soulmate and we've gotten separated?  Why does he continue to come to me even though we'll never be together.  For I am certain I'll never meet him (in this life time).  I have searched and searched and never found him.

Maybe once I too have passed we'll be together? 

Until then we'll be together only in my dreams.

parent child relationship. there's always something wrong

can't do anything right

how blokes speak to mates vs speaking to girlfriend

how blokes speak to mates

blokes greeting children vs greeting girlfriend

blokes greeting gf

blokes talking with mates vs talking with girlfriends

how blokes talk with gf

sexually frustrated .2

don't know what it is about sex.  i can't tell if it's him or me? something all lovers experience?  or am i the odd one out?

 ... he rarely gets me excited or turns me on and rarely get's me wet.  to look at him, he's hot.  the intimacy of being with him, seeing him, feeling him, is nice.  i like sleeping with him for that.  yet, i'm the one who has to touch myself in order to get turned on.  when he touches me he doesn't do it right.  he misses the spot, rubs too hard, too soft, too fast, too soon.  i direct him it makes no difference.  he hasn't learned what my erogenous zones are and no wonder since he rarely touches me any where else aside from the triple grab boobs bum groin.  he does the same moves every time even though he knows they do nothing for me.

he tells me I blow him away.  i'm amazing.  outstanding.  a sex goddess.  he on the other hand blows my mind rarely.

i read that women should take control of their own orgasm instead of relying on the man.  i'm not sure if that means all the  time?  it's all the time in my case.  if i want to orgasm i'm the only one who's going to get the job done.  again, i can't rely on him. he doesn't move in ways that bring me to climax and he doesn't touch me.  i have to do it myself or it doesn't happen.

i get so frustrated i think i may as well just do myself and use a vibrator for all the role he plays in my sexual pleasure.  again, i don't know if this is normal?  are all guys like this?  so lacking in knowledge or desire to please a woman?  or is he the odd one out?  is it something that can be learned or taught or do you have to have the desire and interest in the first place?  that's just the thing.  he doesn't seem to have the desire to improve or even wish he was a better lover.

when we talk about it his attitude is usually one of self-defeating self-pity.  he'd rather give up than try.  because the alternative means putting in the hard yards.  i get the sense he doesn't want to put in that effort.  he's worried putting in the effort will equal long and arduous sex sessions while he wants simple easy sex sessions.  quickies.  frustrating!

when i talk to girl friends their responses are usually that he's a dud but i don't know if this is true of just him.  what if all guys are duds?  what if his sexual ways are typical of men?  when i speak to guys about this they either advise me to give him directions (which i've done) or ditch him and go with them instead because they claim they're better.  again, who's to say they're also not going to be duds?  all talk and no action?

what the hell is a girl to do to get a guy to improve his skills and performance in bed?