withholding sex is power play

some women (and men) withhold sex as a power play. do this thing i want you to do and i'll give you sex. i'm sure those kind of creeps are out there.

then you have the other side of the coin. those who are not having sex because of very valid and sometimes serious reasons. i.e. insecurities so deep compliments and flirting can't heal them, physically and emotional pain or trauma, the sex hurts and is therefore unwanted.

lack of trust is an issue. maybe he promised he'd let you sodomize him if you let him sodomize you, then reneged. maybe he promised to bring you to climax just because he wanted to please you only to turn around and pester you into giving him pleasure too because you turned him on and now owe him. maybe she promised to go down on you if you went down on her, then reneged. either way if that trust is broken damage is done.

but one of the main reasons women (and men) stop having sex is because they don't like it and aren't getting anything out of it. like with men who think sex is about sticking their penis in the vagina, humping away until they orgasm then hopping off and leaving the woman hanging. or when sex is the same old dull boring routine it's always been and they can't stand the idea of having to go through that another day.

sometimes the sex is so shit they'd rather go without.

if you're a red hot lover but an asshole outside of the bedroom, put-downs, insults, nagging, fault finding, abusing, lying, cheating, manipulating .. this also contributes to your partner losing interest (withholding) sex. no one has desires to sleep with someone who treats them like shit (either during or outside of sex).

just think about that next time you're thinking your partner is withholding out of a punishment or a play for power. if the sex (and the relationship) is good, passionate, lustful, exciting, interesting, mutually satisfying, pleasurable, then they're going to want more.