sweet dreams

Beyonce's Sweet Dreams reminds me of a guy I've been dreaming about for years.

He first appeared to me when I was 16.  I was actually dreaming about a movie star I idolised and he popped into my dream.  I was saying goodbye to him as I left with the movie star, when I suddenly felt sad and heart broken to be leaving him.  When I woke I had this strange sensation that I was in love with him.  But who was He?  Where did he come from?

He has come to me in my dreams ever since.  Over the years I have come to know all about him. I know what he looks like and draw him.  Dark medium length wavy hair, square jaw, deep blue almond shaped eyes, a smile that curls up at the sides of his mouth.

I date guys who resemble him.  The same hair, the same body, height, the same smile.  I've never found someone with the same eyes as him.  None of the guys I date are him.  They don't feel the way about me as he does.  Always looking for him in real life.  I think of him when I make love.  I dream of him when I'm sad and lonely.  I have heard him calling to me as I wake and once heard his voice in my ear.

Who is he?  What is he?  Is he my guardian angle?  His he a man who has lived but since passed?  Was he a lover from a previous life?  Is he my soulmate and we've gotten separated?  Why does he continue to come to me even though we'll never be together.  For I am certain I'll never meet him (in this life time).  I have searched and searched and never found him.

Maybe once I too have passed we'll be together? 

Until then we'll be together only in my dreams.